Top 10: 2nd August 2010
Previously: Alisha impressed Elle in a mentoring photoshoot, nobody reacted to the appearance of Girls Aloud's Nicola Roberts, and Harleen got booted out for a general lack of photogenicity, which would admittedly be a bit of a handicap for a print model.
This week: well, I'm about to tell you about that, aren't I?
Titles. Hannah even looked uncomfortable shooting these, bless her.
We flash back to Amelia's near-elimination from last week, and Amelia admits that she was quite surprised not to have been sent home. She has -- surprise surprise -- realised that she needs to work hard this week to justify her inclusion. Night time at Top Model Manor, and there's a letter from Harleen, which Charlotte reads out. Harleen has given them all a paragraph to themselves, and she has written something lovely and complimentary about everyone. Except Kirsty. Kirsty's reads: "I know your intentions are good, but I don't think you realise how patronising you are. Try to be a bit nicer." Wow. One of the girls even comments "woah, bitchy", and, well, yeah. Congratulations, Harleen, for actually managing to make yourself less likeable without even appearing onscreen. That's quite a skill. Also, "I don't think you realise how patronising you are, try to be a bit nicer" is a little bit like someone who lives in a glass house firing boulders from a catapult, surely? Charlotte is rather embarrassed to be the one reading it, but cracks up about it in a post-incident interview. Kirsty's all "well, that's her feelings", but I suspect she's rather bruised even if she's trying not to show it. Anyway, it appears that Kirsty will now be getting a single episode Bitch Edit in much the way that Amba did last week.
Later, there is E-Mail. Joy reads it out in her trademark monotone. The girls are instructed to get some rest, as they will be "getting on your bikes" tomorrow. Amelia thinks they will be bikers, "Elle's Angels". Please God, no.
The next day. London's Trendy Carnaby Street. The girls are met by Olivia Fletcher, the marketing manager of Merc Clothing, and Dave Berry, aka Mr Heidi From The Sugababes. Before he can introduce himself, Alisha blurts "I know who you are!" and everyone laughs at her. Deservedly, I might add. Seriously, girl, I know you're outside right now but that doesn't mean you can jettison your indoor voice entirely. Dave tells the girls that they will be modelling with a male model on a Vespa, and they have to make the male model (Sid) look good as well as the clothes. Hmmm. Surely it is the male model's job to make the male model look good? Charlotte's up first, and says that having lots of people watching them made for added pressure. She's wearing a skirt and has a bit of trouble getting on the scooter, but does fairly well. Joy reclines on the back and does quite well. Nicola interviews that waiting to go up was just as bad as the task itself, as you could see everyone around, and then she overbalances the scooter when she sits on it. Oops. But she recovers and does well. Kirsty clambers all over Sid, and actually does some quite imaginative poses. DELETE HER complainterviews that Kirsty is too confident, and there is no need for such confidence. Suddenly I'm having a flashback. Amba has to go after Kirsty and admits that's quite an act to follow. She struggles a little bit. Tiffany seems a bit out of it as well, and grouses later that she felt silly doing it. Memo to Tiffany: you are on a reality TV show about modelling. If modelling makes you feel silly, perhaps you should've auditioned for The Cube instead. I hear Philip Schofield is lovely. Alisha drapes herself all over Sid and gets good feedback. DELETE HER poses similarly. Amelia kneels on the back and looks pretty cool, I think. Olivia (Fletcher - seriously, why must all the people on tasks have the same name as a judge or a contestant? It makes my job needlessly difficult) thinks she's great. Model Olivia is also concerned about her skirt and worried about showing her vadge. Dave tries to tell her that her pose is good and she should hold it, but Olivia instantly flinches and tells him "I thought you were going to say something was hanging out!" Classy. [I'm shellshocked that Dave Berry called it a nu nu. And embarrased for Heidi - Helen]
Post-task, Dave tells the girls that the challenge winner's picture will be uploaded to the client's website. The winner is Amelia, who's shocked and excited. She interviews that she really needed that pick-me-up, and good for her. Back at the house, there is more E-Mail, this time read by Olivia. Elle has a message from "someone you may recognise", so they turn to the TV, and it's Beyoncé with a generic pre-recorded message that causes the girls to collectively lose their shirt. Yonce pretends to be excited that one of them will eventually win (there's a reason why someone else got the Oscar for Dreamgirls, btw) and tells the girls that their next challenge will be to promote her "sexy new fragrance" Heat. They will need to convey a strong sexy and powerful image on camera, and she wants to see them express the fire within. Yeah, like Beyoncé is ever going to watch those commercials. They react ecstatically to the news and burst into a spontaneous and generally tune-free rendition of 'Single Ladies'. Charlotte is excited, but then Charlotte's always excited. Kirsty interviews that it's the best thing that's ever happened to her. What, even better than reading Harleen's letter? Amelia forgets the words to 'Single Ladies' and strikes a pose instead.
Commercials.
As we return, the strident sounds of 'Crazy In Love' play on the soundtrack and the girls meet with Karl Plewka [the Top Model shows have all the best surnames - Helen], who's the creative director for the day. He's worked with the likes of Vivienne Westwood and Vogue, apparently. Kirsty wants to get this one perfect, because it's for Beyoncé. Karl tells the girls that they will need to glamorously walk down the carpet and deliver a line sensuously to camera. Anyone else curious to know what Tiffany's sensuous voice will sound like? The girls are sent off to hair and make-up and to learn their script. I always love any Top Model challenge that involves learning lines, because it invariably leads to chaos. Like this. Okay, sure, there was a language barrier there, but I think anyone who watched ANTM cycle 10 knew that even in English, Dominique was a fruitloop. The girls learn their lines, which appear to amount to "set your world on fire with this new scent". BNTM commercial dialogue is always so half-arsed, isn't it?
The red carpet has smouldering black torches lining up down each side of it. DELETE HER walks into the studio, and is introduced to Lorraine Clough, who is "representing Beyoncé's fragrance today". BEST JOB EVER Y/Y [Y - Helen]. Karl explains the commercial to DELETE HER, in that she must walk down some steps, remove her jacket halfway down the carpet, reach the end and then deliver her line to the camera. DELETE HER goes for her first take. Her walk is a bit galumphing, but she does do a reasonable job of sounding sensual and mysterious when delivering her line. Of course, the bit that no one's warned any of the models about is that as they finish their line, the torches will suddenly burst into life around them. DELETE HER manages to retain her composure, more or less. We see montages of the other girls attempting it. Charlotte loves the red carpet aspect of it, and gets good feedback from Karl and Lorraine, but can't quite hold her in her surprise when the torches erupt. Alisha doesn't remove her jacket on one attempt, but does a much better take and is commended for smiling. Olivia seems to do quite well. Tiffany mumbles her way through it but gets good feedback all the same. Amba is wearing a Julien Macdonald dress, which she loves, but she's nervous because it puts more pressure on her. Karl feels that the dress didn't give her the confidence boost he was hoping for. Nicola is "wooden" and "scared" according to Lorraine. Amelia looks awesome, but Karl is not impressed with her voice/accent. Kirsty models a bizarre headscarf in her interview, but Lorraine thinks that she embodied Beyoncé on the red carpet. Joy fares less well, falling down the stairs on her first take. That rather shatters her confidence, and she keeps stumbling and walking poorly, "and swearing a lot", she confesses. Oh, and she can't remember the line either, delivers a vague approximation of it in a bored voice, and reacts in absolute horror when the flames go up. Hee. Karl's "heartbroken", because she has the look, but can't back it up. Outside, Joy sniggers over her terrible performance.
Afterwards, Phil informs the girls that some of them struggled, but two of them shone: Charlotte and Kirsty. But there can only be one winner, and it's...Kirsty. She wins a night out at Jalouse Club in London, and the other girls are unimpressed. Charlotte is disappointed to be "close but no cigar - again". Kirsty is allowed to choose two friends to accompany her, and picks Nicola and Amelia, or as she says it, "Nic-Nac" and "Meems". Ye gods. Kirsty thinks she's picked the right people to come with her. A chauffer-driven Bentley arrives later to pick them up, and Nicola is glad to escape the tension in the house. Kirsty interviews that she's not going to get too drunk because they still have a shoot to do. Amelia hasn't been out in London before, so this is a novelty for her.
The girls arrive at Jalouse, which appears to be next to a building site. G-L-A-M-O-R-OUS! They party in the VIP enclosure and generally have what looks like an awesome time of things. Back at the house, Alisha is bitching about Kirsty. She doesn't think Kirsty is real, and doesn't trust her because she can't read her. Hmm. Presumably by that standard, Alisha also doesn't trust Salman Rushdie novels. Everyone joins in the bitching, but Alisha seems to be leading it. The main problem seems to be that Kirsty thinks she has already won. Once again, it seems that confidence in women is something to be depised on reality television. Charlotte interviews that it may have sounded like a bitching session (that's because it was), but it was also a very productive conversation. Hmm.
Back at Jalouse, the girls are clearly hammered and dancing on a podium. Back at the house, Joy comes up with the excellent and not at all pathetic and juvenile stunt of putting a mannequin in Kirsty's bed. Everyone's all "YEAH! AWESOME! THAT'LL SHOW HER!" They dress it in Kirsty's clothes for added effect. Later, the drunken trio return home after everyone's gone to bed. Amelia tries to read the E-Mail, with some difficulty, which appears to describe something "sweet" in the imminent future. They find the mannequin in Kirsty's bed. "I don't know if they did that out of spite, or for a laugh, but we were too drunk to care, to be honest," admits Nicola. And seriously, if this as an attempt to puncture Kirsty's ego, it's kind of an epic fail.
Commercials. Impending chocolate.
London Porn: Piccadilly edition. Amelia interviews that the night out was awesome, but they're all totally hungover. Kirsty in turn interviews that she's feeling too ill (/hungover) to even notice any animosity amongst the girls. They troop off to their photo shoot, where they meet Rachel Higgin, from Palmers Bodycare, and Rhys Frampton the photographer for today, who's kinda hot [agreed - Helen]. Rachel explains that they'll be promoting the Cocoa Butter Body Lotion, so the only item of clothing they will be wearing is a skin-coloured thong to protect their modesty (pffft), and the rest of them will be covered in chocolate. Hungover Nicola is alarmed by the chocolate. Tiffany slurs that she would never usually do nudity for any sort of modelling. Joy gives it her standard shrug, justifying it in that "it's not like you've got your tits out", and correctly deduces that if you want to win, you have to shut up and get on with it. I'm starting to really like Joy, y'know.
The girls head off to make-up, and Kirsty has to leave in the middle of her make-up session to throw up. Oops. Charlotte's first out, and admits that she was very nervous. She squeals during the application of the chocolate, but confesses in a post-incident VT that once the chocolate's on, it feels like a layer of clothing anyway so she didn't feel all that naked. I'm not entirely sure I'm convinced by that argument. She says that the shoot was difficult, but she seems to be doing well. Afterwards, Rhys thinks she did well. Nicola's next, and copes surprisingly well with chocolate all over her face. Rhys and Rachel agree that she nailed the shoot and they'd be happy to work with her again. Alisha's next, and VTs that she's not afraid to show her body, and ultimately forgot she was naked anyway. Alisha works the shoot, and points out that since the chocolate more or less matched her skintone, it looked like she was wearing a catsuit. Seriously girls: you can make all the "it wasn't like we were really naked!" arguments you like, but I remain unconvinced. Rachel and Rhys are very impressed with Alisha, anyway. Amba was fine with the nudity, and Rachel thinks she's in her element. Is "naked and covered in cold chocolate" anybody's element? Amelia is told to soften her expression, but then seems to get it. Rachel thinks Amelia is beautiful, but Rhys thinks she only has one look and doesn't give anything else. Kirsty VTs that she thought she'd throw up as soon as they poured the chocolate over her, but manages to overcome it and work her shoot. She says in an interview that weirdly the whole process actually helped her to feel better, but then she makes the rather ill-advised move of telling the photographer and the client that they're helping her recover from her hangover. The look on Rachel's face is unimpressed, to say the least. However, Rachel thinks that "from a creative point of view", Kirsty was great. DELETE HER is next, and struggles, but seems to get it after a bit of direction. She confesses in an interview that she was finding it hard to focus on her body and her face at the same time. Rachel thinks DELETE HER came to life when she was told to smile, but she didn't give as much variety as the other girls. Joy is advised to give more variety and a warmer expression, but doesn't really seem to do "softness in the face" so much. Olivia is still here, even though I constantly forget she exists. Rachel keeps asking her for more energy, which worries Olivia. Tiffany complains (SHOCKER) in an interview that the chocolate was getting in her eyes and she found it difficult to get the facial expression right. Rhys doesn't think she delivered. I would like to offer my in-depth opinions to Rhys the photographer after this complex and controversial shoot. Perhaps I should give him my phone number. (What? Fine, I'm shallow. Like I'd be watching this show if I weren't.)
Back at the house, there is E-Mail, read by Olivia. Tomorrow there is judgement and panel and the elimination of another contestant. Olivia interviews that she thinks she may be going home, following her performance this week. DELETE HER wonders if they'll be looking at the performance in the commercial as well as the shoot. Joy says that she's always nervous because she doesn't know who'll be going home.
After the ad break, there is panel. Elle tells the girls they're all looking wonderful, but she still has to cut one of them anyway. She introduces the judges, and this week's guest judge is Karl Plewka. Elle tells the girls that this week was all about expression, and plays them another generic message from Beyoncé pretending she cares. DELETE HER is called up first, and they watch her clip. Charley likes her energy. They look at her picture, which is okay, but Elle informs DELETE HER that Rhys The Hot Photographer basically thought her whole shoot was terrible, and this one (the final shot) was the only usable one. Elle tells DELETE HER that she can't just be a scared little girl every week. Alisha's next, and they skip her commercial and go straight to her chocolate shot. It's pretty good. "Grace Jones watch out!" says Grace. Somehow I doubt Grace Jones, of all people, is scared of Alisha. Grace Jones would eat Alisha for breakfast. Actually, Grace Jones would just eat breakfast and then use Alisha as a toothpick. Julien thinks the picture is aggressive-looking, but Elle thinks it's gentle. Charley likes her body shape.
Olivia is summoned down, and Elle says "let's have a look at your chocolate shoot", at which point my boyfriend and I started cackling about how much it sounded like "chocolate chute" and all of the euphemisms that might result from that. Just imagine: Elle Macpherson, Rectal Examiner. Anyway, Olivia's picture is fine but really bland. Elle likes the quirkiness of the shoot, but Grace thinks having her mouth half-open is not a good look for Olivia because her teeth are not her best feature. Tiffany's commercial is examined, and Karl says that both he and Lorraine, The Representative Of The Smell Of Beyoncé, thought she was rather cold on set. Tiffany is surprised by this, but vows to change this in future. Her chocolate shot is awful and makes her look pregnant. Elle thinks she looks beautiful, but she's sick of seeing that same expression. Joy's commercial is terrible, and Elle actually cackles at how bad it is. Karl tells Joy that he was so upset that she performed poorly because he thought she was perfect before that. Her chocolate shot isn't great either, but Elle likes it. Julien tells Joy to get it together, and Elle says that they want to see her want it. Julien tells her that she can do it.
Amba's next, and her commercial is fierce. Julien is pleased that she wore his dress well. "I'd like to have a look at your chocolate shot," says Elle. At this point, my childish sense of humour has me on the floor in hysterics. Grace thinks Amba looks like a working model in this shot. As opposed to a malfunctioning model, perhaps? "ERROR 404 - FIERCE SMOKEY EYE NOT FOUND." Amelia is next, and her shot is not great - she just looks spooked in it. Elle says that she loves Amelia's face, but doesn't love her body in the picture, and Amelia agrees. Julien says that she looks "sausage-y" and needs to work with her angles. Elle says that she's not offering anything different from the usual. Nicola is summoned, and is holding some glasses. Elle says that they've not seen her with glasses before, and Nicola says that's because she lost them as soon as she got on the show but she's just found them. Elle asks her to put them on, and Nicola warns that they're not very nice. They're not exactly high-fashion, but Grace tells Nicola she'll take her to her "glasses person". In most people's world, that would be an optician, but somehow I expect in the glamour of Grace's world it's something very different. Again: I wish I were Grace. She's awesome. Her shot is really good, and Elle says that the client loved her shot so much they're going to use it in an ad campaign. That is pretty brilliant. Charlotte's next, and murmurs that she hates her picture. Elle says that they love her bottom(!) but, Grace thinks she should have stretched it out. Charlotte says she was trying to, and Grace tells her that the rest of the picture is amazing.
Kirsty's last, and we see her winning clip. Elle says that Kirsty is like the model student (see what she did there?) and that probably irritates them. Then there's a pause, and Kirsty goes to speak at the exact same time that Elle goes to speak. It's unfortunate, and nobody's fault, and to Kirsty's credit, she immediately apologises for cutting in. However, and this is where I think she specifically makes the mistake, she then continues to speak rather than letting Elle finish, at which point she gets chewed out royally by Grace for interrupting Elle. Grace tells her that she needs to listen to Elle or she'll fall flat on her face from (say it with me) being too confident. Kirsty's chocolate shot is all stretchy, and Elle thinks she looks the most beautiful that they've ever seen her. Julien likes that she's in this competition to win it, and tells her there's nothing wrong with being arrogant. Well, he would say that, wouldn't he? Elle interrupts him and quite correctly points out that there's a big difference between being confident and being arrogant. Elle thinks this is the best shot she's seen all day, and Julien says that in that case, it doesn't matter how she got there.
Deliberation. DELETE HER only had one good shot, and Charley isn't sure how much further she can realistically go. Elle thinks she has "zero star power" in person. Alisha's shot gets rave reviews. Elle likes Olivia's face, but Charley thinks the expression is wrong. Elle wants to spank Tiffany for looking sullen all the time. Join the queue, Elle. Joy is beautiful, but doesn't do anything with it. Grace think she doesn't need to do anything with it, but Elle disagrees. Karl thinks she could be on the cover of Italian Vogue. Grace is impressed that Amba looks like she's enjoying herself finally, "because she's been so dull". Hee. Amelia has a great complexion and great skin, but needs to work on her body, Julien thinks. Nicola's picture is loved by everyone. Julien says he never believed in Charlotte until he saw this week's picture, and Grace thinks she could do a high-end make-up campaign. Then there's Kirsty, and her attitude is discussed again: Elle doesn't think she's arrogant, but that she thinks she doesn't need to learn from the competition.
There are ten beautiful girls in front of Elle, but she only has nine pictures. Nicola gets first call-out, and is followed by Charlotte, who is singled out as having done really well, then Alisha, Kirsty, Amba, Olivia ("I'm really happy you're here," Elle tells her, inexplicably), Amelia, and Joy. This leaves DELETE HER and Tiffany in the bottom two, so we all know exactly who's going home. Elle tells them they're both there for the same reason, that their nerves get in the way of their work. I wouldn't have said nerves were Tiffany's problem - her problem is that she's a pain in the arse. DELETE HER is told that every week they get the shot from her, but it's usually her last one. Tiffany is told that every week they get the shot from her, but it's the same one. Oooh, burn. Who gets the picture? Tiffany, of course. Elle tells DELETE HER that she's done an amazing job, and is going to go a long way. Yes: back to Liverpool. DELETE HER cries and thanks everyone for the opportunity. Back at the house, she says she's made it this far, but she's obviously not good enough, but that's fine because the best girls get through each week and in this case, she wasn't one of them. I rather like that approach. She vows to come back down to London and try again [This thought is keeping me up at night, DELETE HER, on her own, in London. If she could get in touch and tell us that she's okay I would be very greatful - Helen]. We flash through her portfolio, which is not great, and then she fades away.
Next week: the girls meet "R&B diva Alesha Dixon" (I would love to meet the person who wrote that piece of script and point out to them that just because Alesha is mixed-race does not automatically mean her music is R&B), do some shopping, and do a bit of jet-setting. Helen will be here to walk you through it [in a FIERCE WAY - Helen], and I'll be back the week after. See you then!
Sunday, 8 August 2010
Sunday, 1 August 2010
Amba alert
Top 12: 26th July 2010
For all that I'm enjoying this new series, I can't help feeling that the five-second bumper they use of Elle glowering at the camera at the beginning and end of each ad break is not her finest work. Indeed, my boyfriend rather thinks it looks like this:
I'll leave you to reach your own decisions on the accuracy of that, anyway. Previously on BNTM: Miquita fucking Oliver turned up to the accompaniment of much shrieking, and was tedious and disingenuous as usual. There were makeovers, and Tiffany got an awful attempt at a pixie cut (the botched Mia Farrow look being a Top Model makeover tradition) and cried forever, and then Rachelle got sent home for being a dancer. This week, Elle mentors the girls, and Nicola Roberts turns up. Hooray!
Titles. Anyone know why Kirsty has a pear on top of her head?
We open, as is standard, with Olivia recounting her bottom two horror story from last week. Now that she's survived, it's crunch time and she wants to prove to the judges that she deserves the second chance she's been given. Back at the house, there's E-Mail, read by Nicola: "Congratulations on getting this far in the competition." Alisha whoops, all by herself, startling Charlotte. Amelia is eating something, because she's genre-savvy and doesn't want to get the "possibly anorexic" edit that ruins your chances of winning. Nicola continues. "No time to rest as tomorrow it's all about first impressions so be sure to meet the judges standards. Love, Elle." That's taken verbatim from the card, by the way. I love Elle, but she really needs to learn how to punctuate. She writes like DELETE HER talks. The girls correctly deduce that this means go-sees are tomorrow, and Alisha wonders if it might be for acting or a commercial rather than standard modelling.
London porn: Trafalgar Square edition. The girls arrive at Models 1. We see Alex, Mecia and Jade's modelling cards, which were presumably fished out of dusty boxes in the basement by an intern seconds before the camera crew arrived. [I'm still angry about Jade-gate. Raging - Helen] The girls are greeting by Fraser Belk and Julien Miachon, bookers with the agency, who will represent the winner. The girls have two go-sees set-up for today, and must impress their prospective clients. Apparently they are not told anything about the jobs at this point, but Alisha fills in for us that the first one was for Miss Sixty, Julien (Miachon, not Macdonald) is waiting for them, alongside Daniele Sismondi, sales director for Miss Sixty. The girls will be asked to strike a pose that best represents the brand. Olivia is first in, and goes for the hands on hips with asymmetric legs look. Nicola goes for a side view with a bent knee and one arm behind her head. Tiffany adopts a pose from the Marjorie Conrad Memorial Invertebrate School Of Modelling, while Kirsty is very statuesque with one shoulder giving it some fierceness. Julien and Daniele tell her to take it further, then inform her that she's taken it too far. It's all about the subtleties, this modelling lark. DELETE HER is "a bit blank", surprise surprise, while Charlotte is too happy and smiley again. "I keep getting that, a lot," she remarks. Then stop doing it, sweetheart. Daniele thinks there is a market for her, but he is not it. Susan completely goes to pieces, holding her hair up by a few strands out to the sides, which is criticised as being "a bit shampoo ad". She tries holding her lapels instead, which doesn't work either. She tries a third pose, which is similarly unpopular. Julien later describes her casting as "pretty disastrous", and Daniele thinks she didn't do herself or the outfit any justice. Julien does not see her as being a model for his agency. This does not look good for Susan, does it? [The poses aren't the most rubbish part though, that's the problem. It's the Guppy-like modelling face that she does, like someone's switched on her "model" button - Helen]
Harleen does a nice lean-y pose, while Joyless holds her boobs up. Amelia is all angles, and Alisha accidentally pulls her shorts down. Amba is told that her pose has been done by everyone, which annoys her, because she thinks everyone else was stealing her ideas when she was practising backstage. It doesn't seem to occur to her that it wasn't a terribly original pose to start with. She goes back into the holding room and makes her feelings on the subject clear; Nicola interviews that Amba called them all "pathetic" for stealing her poses, and naturally wank erupts at this point, with Alisha seemingly the most annoyed by the slight. Amelia interviews that a lot of the girls don't know "how to read Amba", which may cause some tension.
Go-see, part the second. Fraser is with William Tempest, who is apparently an 11-year-old fashion designer. Presumably his mum had to sign a release form so he could appear on this show. The girls will have to walk for him individually. Harleen interviews that she was "so excited" to meet him, while sounding rather like she's making an appointment for her six-monthly dental check-up. DELETE HER interviews that William has dressed Victoria Beckham and CherylTweedy Cole Tweedy, so he's A Big Deal. Alisha walks first, and gets rave reviews. Only brief snatches are shown of each girl's performance but they all seem to be doign quite well. Amelia is told she has the best walk so far. Joyless needs to practice her walk, but has potential. Tiffany has what it takes to be a Top Model, DELETE HER gets no comments that we see but walks like a fucking truck driver, and Charlotte is admonished for being boring. Charlotte cries as soon as she's out of earshot. Susan walks in a very stilted way and is asked to do it again. Her second attempt is equally bizarre. William and Fraser both agree that she didn't cut the mustard.
The girls arrive home, and are met by Grace and Charley. Charlotte, bless her, was excited to see them until she realised that they probably weren't there with good news. I kind of love Charlotte. Kirsty interviews that the atmosphere just crashed down. Charley confirms that they are there to deliver bad news, and Grace continues that after the go-sees, Julien and Fraser felt so strongly about the performance of one girl that they've spoken to Elle, and as a result, one of them will be leaving right now. At which point we cut to an ad break, even though you'd have to be pretty simple not to guess who's about to be packing her bags and heading back to Dublin. Er, "home". Heading "back home", I mean. [Grace was clearly enjoying the whole thing far too much. Love her - Helen]
When we return, Kirsty reminds us that someone's going home, and Charlotte worries that she's getting the boot because her second casting went poorly. Charley reveals that the girl who is going home is Susan, who smiles brightly and says that she knew it. She hugs Grace and thanks the judges for the opportunity, while Grace tells her that she's done so well to get this far. Susan cries that she's had a good time, and is overwhelmed to have made it to that stage in the first place. The other girls all get a bit weepy too. Susan interviews that while her castings went disastrously, she feels that nothing she could've done would've improved her performance because "people like William Tempest, they're going to see through it". As much as I love Susan, it's no real secret that modelling isn't her first career choice, so I'm guessing that's what she's referring to. Alisha interviews that Susan has done better than Amba, Charlotte and DELETE HER, and shouldn't have gone before them. Joyless, on the other hand, is all "eh, people have to go home. Shrug." Susan fades out of the picture. Wow, I've never noticed before, but Joyless looks seriously pregnant in that montage.
Later, there is E-Mail, read by Amelia. "Its time to get fun creative and imaginative with something red and close to my heart. Ill see you tomorrow, love Elle." We don't see the card, but I'm assuming that's how it's all spelt. Elle is waiting for them in an all-white room, and Kirsty is all decked out in shades and a shawl, determined to make a serious diva entrance, which doesn't go unnoticed by Elle. Amba interviews that she's always excited to see Elle. Amelia says that Elle is so pretty, it's distracting. Elle tells them that being a model is also about being A Role Model, which is where Seb Bishop, the CEO of Red, chips in to explain that his brand works with iconic brands to raise money to fight Aids in Africa. Elle tells the girls that she's going to be mentoring them through their photoshoot.
Backstage, Charlotte reveals that there's tension, as the girls bicker over who's got the most favourable props for their shoot. Amba complainterviews that she was practising a little bit in her head, but not making it too obvious in case those thieving bitches nicked all her awesome ideas again. Alisha is in first, sporting some natty headphones. Elle informs her that she has just 20 shots, and will need to make each one different. Alisha gets great feedback from her shoot. Amba has a laptop, which she holds like a book and poses coyly behind, and then does a crab position on the floor while Elle balances the book on Amba's stomach. It is pretty impressive, I can't lie. Nicola has some sunglasses, and Elle is pleased with her performance, saying that she knows her body, and is subtle and present at the shoot. Kirsty has some rings and poses like a boxer. Amelia sports some Converse around her neck, but her face is still an issue. Tiffany is modelling some laces (I think?) and says that she felt like a puppet, and that the shoot was more about taking direction than using your own ideas. Elle messes up Charlotte's hair ("It kind of hurt a bit, actually," Charlotte whimpers in an interview)[Hurty hair! Honestly... - Helen] before the latter models with a skateboard. Elle thinks Charlotte needs to be careful not to look like a ditz. Joyless is modelling flowers and struggling to come up with something unusual. Elle suggests holding the stems with her teeth, which gives Joyless a few ideas. Elle thinks that Joyless is definitely one of the prettiest girls in the competition, but that alone will not get her to the end. DELETE HER has a pram, and has to be pretty much spoonfed through the shoot. Harleen models some books, balancing them on her head. Elle thinks that Harleen is not the most photogenic girl in the contest, and while she's a beautiful girl, she may not be a fashion model. Olivia is modelling a t-shirt, which she finds it hard to do creative things with. Again, Elle leads her through the shoot, and Olivia worries that she didn't impress Elle at all.
Once that's all over, Elle tells the girls that she thinks they all did well and she has great shots from all of them. Seb has clearly not been schooled in the art of building suspense on reality television, as he then blurts out that they thought Alisha should win. Alisha squeals, and wins a ring by Solange Azagury. "I WON!" crows Alisha in her interview. I'm going off her a bit.
Back at the house, and there is Food Wank. Apparently Kirsty had been planning to make a roast for four days, but Amba and Harleen didn't want any: Harleen because she's vegetarian, and Amba because...well, no one really knows. Amba explains that she's just eating her own food. Kirsty says that she's not going to exclude her form eating because she's part of the family. Apparently everyone else was more offended by Amba's refusal to partake in Kirsty's roast than Kirsty was, but the person with the most beef was - wait for it - Alisha, who follows Amba around and asks her why she insists on acting the victim. Amba leaves them to it. Over dinner, Amelia postulates that in an environment such as this, they all need to get on, but it's not working out right now, while Alisha points out that they're all trying hard with Amba. Amba comes down and asks to have "a grown-up chat" about the situation. Nicola tells Amba that she has a tendency to come across as rude and offensive. Olivia tells her that she has a tendency to moan about it if she thinks someone else has got a better deal of things than she has. Alisha interviews that Charlotte and DELETE HER were suspiciously silent during this meeting even though they have their own problems with Amba, which she feels is dishonest and two-faced. Charlotte interviews that she didn't want to pile on because she's been friends with Amba since boot camp and she is a nice girl, "but she moans so much". Heh. Alisha tells Amba that she gives the impression of seeing herself above everyone else. Alisha brings up the pose-copying issue from yesterday, and Kirsty tells Amba that she doesn't even apologise when she's wrong. Harleen tells her to be aware of the way she comes across. Amba interviews that the meeting really helped, though I suspect she regrets calling it in the first place. Alisha interviews that most of the other girls probably won't let it go, because Amba didn't apologise. Gosh, imagine that, Alisha - someone not letting something go! Commercials.
E-Mail, read by Charlotte. "Being a model isn't just about being beautiful, we can also use our position to raise awareness and help others. So make sure you're ready to give a little extra - be ready by seven. Love, Elle." The girls speculate that they'll be involved in a campaign of some sort.
The next morning, they meet Sherry Adhami from the charity Beat Bullying, who ask them to take part in a photoshoot to demonstrate the effects of bullying. Alisha interviews that she was happy with this shoot because "obviously I've been bullied in my life, and I really wanted to do something to help." Far be it from me to play armchair psychologist, but I always feel rather sad for anyone who prefaces a story of how they've been bullied with the word "obviously". There is a man standing next to Sherry, who does not get to speak, but will later be identified as David Fairweather, this week's photographer. Weird. The girls go to make-up, but are called out midway through to see Sherry. Charlotte wonders what gives. Sherry tells them that she'd like them to meet a very important supporter of the charity, and Nicola Roberts walks out. The girls smile. Seriously: they shrieked like banshees for MIQUITA FUCKING OLIVER, and all Nicola Roberts gets is a couple of wan grins? Sort your priorities out, ladies. It does appear to be a slight delayed reaction, however, as the girls start to gasp a few seconds later. Maybe they just didn't actually know who she was at first, which is a bit embarrassing for all concerned, I imagine. Charlotte interviews that she's a massive Girls Aloud fan. [Has there been anything yet that Charlotte doesn't LOVE? - Helen] Nicola tells the girls that the girls need to put as much emotion into their photographs as possible. I giggle silently to myself at the irony of Nicola Roberts advising anyone on how best to come across in a photograph. Don't get me wrong, I love her and I think she is stunningly beautiful, but she does have a tendency to look a bit uncomfortable in still images.[Don't even start on her conveying emotion... - Helen] The girls go to leave, giggling, but DELETE HER turns back and says "do you know your cousin, Leon?" I would imagine she does, DELETE HER, yes. "Well, that's my brother Mark's best mate!" DELETE HER continues. The North West is a small world, it would seem. "I just thought that I'd say that!" DELETE HER finishes, realising that she's just made a complete tit of herself. Nicola looks a bit alarmed, as well she might.
Tiffany is the first to do her shoot, and has been made-up to look like she has two black eyes. David explains that we will need to see the effect that bullying has had on her. TIffany explains that her scenario is that she is being bullied on her looks, and she needs to look in the mirror and imagine hating what she sees. Shame she doesn't have a ton of experience of that to drawn on, isn't it? Watching the shoot, Nicola comments that Tiffany is like an actress. She is doing a pretty great job, in all fairness. Olivia has had her hair dampened and will be filming in a makeshift toilet cubicle, and interviews that she tried to put herself in that position, mentally - I assume the position of having recently been flushed. David tells her to look a bit more scared, but is impressed with her performance, as is Nicola. Alisha is being chased in her scenario, and admits that she's been through that before and knows how it feels. Nicola likes the rawness of Alisha's shoot. Sherry thinks Alisha got it "down to a t". Charlotte had her lips literally stitched together for her shoot, which looks hella painful. She does a good job of tensing her face, and Nicola thinks she's very professional. Hilariously, as soon as the shoot wraps, the sheer force of Charlotte's contained grin busts her stitches. Ouch.
Amba's shoot is about cyber-bullying, with a random model's hands attacking her through a computer screen. Her scared face is a bit shit. Joy is in a hospital bed with a made-up broken nose for her shoot, and Charlotte interviews that Joy seemed rather affected by it all, and wonders if there's an issue there going back into Joy's history. I kind of judge both Charlotte and the producers for including that particular clip, because that's up to Joy to decide whether she wants to discuss it, if indeed there is anything to talk about there, and until that day it's not really anyone else's business. Joy rocks her shoot, though. She interviews that it's hard, because normally you have your "hair done up nice" to help you look good on camera, whereas here you have to drawn on your own ability to sell the shot. Afterwards, Joy admits that her mother was physically abused for some time, so she has some familiarity with the scenario. So we didn't really need that clip of Charlotte talking about it at all, did we? Joy says she tried not to think about that part of things too much, as she thinks it would've affected her too much.
Kirsty's scenario is being peer-pressured into sex, and says that she has to look scared, but not too scared. Nicola is impressed with how well Kirsty handled a difficult concept. DELETE HER admits that she's never been bullied, so she has no real first-hand experience of the situations they're being asked to portray. She says she just tried to think of things that made her sad, instead. It doesn't go well, though the problem seems to be the bed rather than DELETE HER - and Nicola fixes the shot so we can't see DELETE HER's knickers. Amelia's situation is all about peer-pressure with drugs, and she tells one of the people at the shoot that she's never been offered drugs, "but with my personality, I'd be terrible." Hee hee. She's looking very Florence Welch here. I'm still not sure she's got her face in check yet. Nicola gives her some feedback on her pictures and how she's not really getting the shot. "I have been told that several times now," Amelia admits. Nicola (the contestant, not the popstar) is being an outsider in her shot, being judged for dressing differently, which she says is what happened to her at school. In Coventry? Surely not! Sherry says that the pain is clearly still raw for Nicola as you could see it in her eyes. Nicola says she was determined to get a good picture and show people how much it could hurt. Harleen interviews that she's had a similar experience to her shoot, so it was a bit like reliving it. I'm not really sure what Harleen's shoot is actually about, but it seems to involve a lot of her scrunching up her face and looking a bit stressed. Some of the other girls are watching the shoot from a balcony and commenting that it's taking her a long time to get it right, but it seems to get better as she goes along, with David encouraging her to scream. "I found it funny," Tiffany guffaws. Harleen interviews that although it upset her and brought a lot back, if it helps one person, it'll be worth it.
E-Mail, read by Amba. "This week you've been working hard, but for one the dream to become Britain's Next Top Model ends tomorrow. Get some rest, and we'll see you all soon, love Elle." Tiffany interviews that she thinks everyone in the house is a model, but not everyone has the potential to be Britain's Next Top Model. Alisha interviews that if she were in the bottom two and DELETE HER was going through, she'd be all "What the hell?" Tiffany interviews that she'd stop modelling altogether if she were cut before Harleen. How rude.
Commercials.
It's judgement time. Elle welcomes the girls to the judging room, and introduces the judges, including this week's guest judge, Nicola Roberts. Elle tells them that this week they learned how cutthroat the industry could be when Susan was axed unexpectedly, and they learned that modelling is not just about beauty, but also about being an ambassador. Alisha's the first one called up, and congratulated for her challenge win. We see her Red shot, which is pretty good. Her bullying shot is really good, and apparently she got it in the first shot. Nicola is next, but Charley feels her expression is more like she's yearning for a long-lost love. Julien says that she's on the verge of becoming boring and weak. Elle tells her that she needs to believe in herself. Kirsty feels like she could've pushed her shot a lot more; Charley thinks she looks almost sexy in it, but she shouldn't, because it's not that sort of campaign. Tiffany is asked by Charley if having a haircut she didn't like made the shot really easy. "I'd better not say," Tiffany admits.[I get the feeling that Charley is going to drop a massive clanger every week. I look forward to it - Helen] Joy's shot is incredible, and Grace says she'd believe it if she saw it as a billboard. Julien thinks she could win this competition, but she needs to believe in herself. Amelia's shot is not good - she explains that she was trying to convey feeling confused by her emotions, but Elle giggles that she's confused by the photograph itself. Julien tells her she needs to work harder, and Elle thinks she's modelling by numbers. Charlotte's shot is one of Elle's favourites, as she only had her eyes to express herself. Julien thinks it isn't convincing and shows no emotion, but let's face it, Julien just likes the sound of his own voice complaining. Also, he's wearing a t-shirt with a tuxedo print on it, which immediately makes anything he has to say about anything at all utterly invalid. Amba is nervous to see her picture, which isn't really great. Elle doesn't like it, and Nicola wanted to see more fear in her face. Grace tells her she should never be boring in a shot, and she's a bit worried about her. Harleen looks fabulous today, and Elle says as much. Unfortunately, her photo is not good - as far as I can tell it's about feeling trapped and alone and unable to speak out about bullying, but Harleen's face just isn't conveying that. Elle tells her there were only two shots the photographer could use. Olivia's shot is great, and Elle is pleased to see her working so well by herself because she required so much direction when Elle worked with her. Julien loves her picture and thinks she's his shining star. DELETE HER has a terrible picture, and Julien says that he was bullied at school (and of course, having learnt from this harrowing experience, he grew into the compassionate and affirming adult we know and love today) and used to go home to his bedroom to cry, and that DELETE HER should be conveying that emotion in her picture, but she isn't.
Deliberation. Nicola thinks Alisha needs no deliberation, she's brilliant. Nicola has not had her best week, but her previous work holds her in good stead. Kirsty was passionate about the campaign on the day, but it's not coming across in the shot. Charley thinks she's giving the same look in all her shots. Tiffany was amazing on the day. Joy is a superstar in the making. Amelia needs to maintain a pose and have conviction. Charlotte is the most commercial girl, but Grace thinks she's going "from cheese to mould, i.e. she's growing on me." Grace, darling, I love you, but you really need to work on your metaphors. Amba's picture didn't deliver. Harleen is not very good. Sorry, she's not very good in this picture, Elle just paused in a very unfortunate place when saying that. However, Elle is really pleased with the outcome of Harleen's makeover. But, asks Grace, how long must they spend on her? Grace thinks Olivia is limited. DELETE HER is beautiful, but lacks the longevity to continue in the competition.
Elle has 11 beautiful girls before her, but just 10 photographs in her hands. Alisha gets first callout. Following her are Charlotte, Tiffany, Olivia, Nicola, Joy, DELETE HER (seriously?!?), Kirsty and Amba, "by the skin of your teeth, missy." That leaves Amelia and Harleen in the bottom two. Not a good week for the redheads, is it? Elle has only one photograph in her hand. Harleen is more beautiful than she has ever seen her and has really blossomed, but this hasn't translated in her pictures. Amelia is beautiful, but is acting as she thinks a model should and this is hampering her progress. Amelia gets a picture. Elle hugs Harleen and tells her she has done an amazing job. Harleen thanks her for the opportunity and wishes the other girls luck. Harleen interviews that she thought she'd done well in the shoot, but obviously she didn't get across what she was trying to. She's glad that she came to the show and it was the best experience of her life. She's going to miss everyone, but she feels that she's got enough to go out there and carry on. And fade from the montage.
Next time: the girls pose in Carnaby Street, and then pose for a photoshoot covered in SEXY CHOCOLATE. Beyoncé pre-records an appearance, and Joy is nearly set on fire on a photoshoot. Blimey.
For all that I'm enjoying this new series, I can't help feeling that the five-second bumper they use of Elle glowering at the camera at the beginning and end of each ad break is not her finest work. Indeed, my boyfriend rather thinks it looks like this:
I'll leave you to reach your own decisions on the accuracy of that, anyway. Previously on BNTM: Miquita fucking Oliver turned up to the accompaniment of much shrieking, and was tedious and disingenuous as usual. There were makeovers, and Tiffany got an awful attempt at a pixie cut (the botched Mia Farrow look being a Top Model makeover tradition) and cried forever, and then Rachelle got sent home for being a dancer. This week, Elle mentors the girls, and Nicola Roberts turns up. Hooray!
Titles. Anyone know why Kirsty has a pear on top of her head?
We open, as is standard, with Olivia recounting her bottom two horror story from last week. Now that she's survived, it's crunch time and she wants to prove to the judges that she deserves the second chance she's been given. Back at the house, there's E-Mail, read by Nicola: "Congratulations on getting this far in the competition." Alisha whoops, all by herself, startling Charlotte. Amelia is eating something, because she's genre-savvy and doesn't want to get the "possibly anorexic" edit that ruins your chances of winning. Nicola continues. "No time to rest as tomorrow it's all about first impressions so be sure to meet the judges standards. Love, Elle." That's taken verbatim from the card, by the way. I love Elle, but she really needs to learn how to punctuate. She writes like DELETE HER talks. The girls correctly deduce that this means go-sees are tomorrow, and Alisha wonders if it might be for acting or a commercial rather than standard modelling.
London porn: Trafalgar Square edition. The girls arrive at Models 1. We see Alex, Mecia and Jade's modelling cards, which were presumably fished out of dusty boxes in the basement by an intern seconds before the camera crew arrived. [I'm still angry about Jade-gate. Raging - Helen] The girls are greeting by Fraser Belk and Julien Miachon, bookers with the agency, who will represent the winner. The girls have two go-sees set-up for today, and must impress their prospective clients. Apparently they are not told anything about the jobs at this point, but Alisha fills in for us that the first one was for Miss Sixty, Julien (Miachon, not Macdonald) is waiting for them, alongside Daniele Sismondi, sales director for Miss Sixty. The girls will be asked to strike a pose that best represents the brand. Olivia is first in, and goes for the hands on hips with asymmetric legs look. Nicola goes for a side view with a bent knee and one arm behind her head. Tiffany adopts a pose from the Marjorie Conrad Memorial Invertebrate School Of Modelling, while Kirsty is very statuesque with one shoulder giving it some fierceness. Julien and Daniele tell her to take it further, then inform her that she's taken it too far. It's all about the subtleties, this modelling lark. DELETE HER is "a bit blank", surprise surprise, while Charlotte is too happy and smiley again. "I keep getting that, a lot," she remarks. Then stop doing it, sweetheart. Daniele thinks there is a market for her, but he is not it. Susan completely goes to pieces, holding her hair up by a few strands out to the sides, which is criticised as being "a bit shampoo ad". She tries holding her lapels instead, which doesn't work either. She tries a third pose, which is similarly unpopular. Julien later describes her casting as "pretty disastrous", and Daniele thinks she didn't do herself or the outfit any justice. Julien does not see her as being a model for his agency. This does not look good for Susan, does it? [The poses aren't the most rubbish part though, that's the problem. It's the Guppy-like modelling face that she does, like someone's switched on her "model" button - Helen]
Harleen does a nice lean-y pose, while Joyless holds her boobs up. Amelia is all angles, and Alisha accidentally pulls her shorts down. Amba is told that her pose has been done by everyone, which annoys her, because she thinks everyone else was stealing her ideas when she was practising backstage. It doesn't seem to occur to her that it wasn't a terribly original pose to start with. She goes back into the holding room and makes her feelings on the subject clear; Nicola interviews that Amba called them all "pathetic" for stealing her poses, and naturally wank erupts at this point, with Alisha seemingly the most annoyed by the slight. Amelia interviews that a lot of the girls don't know "how to read Amba", which may cause some tension.
Go-see, part the second. Fraser is with William Tempest, who is apparently an 11-year-old fashion designer. Presumably his mum had to sign a release form so he could appear on this show. The girls will have to walk for him individually. Harleen interviews that she was "so excited" to meet him, while sounding rather like she's making an appointment for her six-monthly dental check-up. DELETE HER interviews that William has dressed Victoria Beckham and Cheryl
The girls arrive home, and are met by Grace and Charley. Charlotte, bless her, was excited to see them until she realised that they probably weren't there with good news. I kind of love Charlotte. Kirsty interviews that the atmosphere just crashed down. Charley confirms that they are there to deliver bad news, and Grace continues that after the go-sees, Julien and Fraser felt so strongly about the performance of one girl that they've spoken to Elle, and as a result, one of them will be leaving right now. At which point we cut to an ad break, even though you'd have to be pretty simple not to guess who's about to be packing her bags and heading back to Dublin. Er, "home". Heading "back home", I mean. [Grace was clearly enjoying the whole thing far too much. Love her - Helen]
When we return, Kirsty reminds us that someone's going home, and Charlotte worries that she's getting the boot because her second casting went poorly. Charley reveals that the girl who is going home is Susan, who smiles brightly and says that she knew it. She hugs Grace and thanks the judges for the opportunity, while Grace tells her that she's done so well to get this far. Susan cries that she's had a good time, and is overwhelmed to have made it to that stage in the first place. The other girls all get a bit weepy too. Susan interviews that while her castings went disastrously, she feels that nothing she could've done would've improved her performance because "people like William Tempest, they're going to see through it". As much as I love Susan, it's no real secret that modelling isn't her first career choice, so I'm guessing that's what she's referring to. Alisha interviews that Susan has done better than Amba, Charlotte and DELETE HER, and shouldn't have gone before them. Joyless, on the other hand, is all "eh, people have to go home. Shrug." Susan fades out of the picture. Wow, I've never noticed before, but Joyless looks seriously pregnant in that montage.
Later, there is E-Mail, read by Amelia. "Its time to get fun creative and imaginative with something red and close to my heart. Ill see you tomorrow, love Elle." We don't see the card, but I'm assuming that's how it's all spelt. Elle is waiting for them in an all-white room, and Kirsty is all decked out in shades and a shawl, determined to make a serious diva entrance, which doesn't go unnoticed by Elle. Amba interviews that she's always excited to see Elle. Amelia says that Elle is so pretty, it's distracting. Elle tells them that being a model is also about being A Role Model, which is where Seb Bishop, the CEO of Red, chips in to explain that his brand works with iconic brands to raise money to fight Aids in Africa. Elle tells the girls that she's going to be mentoring them through their photoshoot.
Backstage, Charlotte reveals that there's tension, as the girls bicker over who's got the most favourable props for their shoot. Amba complainterviews that she was practising a little bit in her head, but not making it too obvious in case those thieving bitches nicked all her awesome ideas again. Alisha is in first, sporting some natty headphones. Elle informs her that she has just 20 shots, and will need to make each one different. Alisha gets great feedback from her shoot. Amba has a laptop, which she holds like a book and poses coyly behind, and then does a crab position on the floor while Elle balances the book on Amba's stomach. It is pretty impressive, I can't lie. Nicola has some sunglasses, and Elle is pleased with her performance, saying that she knows her body, and is subtle and present at the shoot. Kirsty has some rings and poses like a boxer. Amelia sports some Converse around her neck, but her face is still an issue. Tiffany is modelling some laces (I think?) and says that she felt like a puppet, and that the shoot was more about taking direction than using your own ideas. Elle messes up Charlotte's hair ("It kind of hurt a bit, actually," Charlotte whimpers in an interview)[Hurty hair! Honestly... - Helen] before the latter models with a skateboard. Elle thinks Charlotte needs to be careful not to look like a ditz. Joyless is modelling flowers and struggling to come up with something unusual. Elle suggests holding the stems with her teeth, which gives Joyless a few ideas. Elle thinks that Joyless is definitely one of the prettiest girls in the competition, but that alone will not get her to the end. DELETE HER has a pram, and has to be pretty much spoonfed through the shoot. Harleen models some books, balancing them on her head. Elle thinks that Harleen is not the most photogenic girl in the contest, and while she's a beautiful girl, she may not be a fashion model. Olivia is modelling a t-shirt, which she finds it hard to do creative things with. Again, Elle leads her through the shoot, and Olivia worries that she didn't impress Elle at all.
Once that's all over, Elle tells the girls that she thinks they all did well and she has great shots from all of them. Seb has clearly not been schooled in the art of building suspense on reality television, as he then blurts out that they thought Alisha should win. Alisha squeals, and wins a ring by Solange Azagury. "I WON!" crows Alisha in her interview. I'm going off her a bit.
Back at the house, and there is Food Wank. Apparently Kirsty had been planning to make a roast for four days, but Amba and Harleen didn't want any: Harleen because she's vegetarian, and Amba because...well, no one really knows. Amba explains that she's just eating her own food. Kirsty says that she's not going to exclude her form eating because she's part of the family. Apparently everyone else was more offended by Amba's refusal to partake in Kirsty's roast than Kirsty was, but the person with the most beef was - wait for it - Alisha, who follows Amba around and asks her why she insists on acting the victim. Amba leaves them to it. Over dinner, Amelia postulates that in an environment such as this, they all need to get on, but it's not working out right now, while Alisha points out that they're all trying hard with Amba. Amba comes down and asks to have "a grown-up chat" about the situation. Nicola tells Amba that she has a tendency to come across as rude and offensive. Olivia tells her that she has a tendency to moan about it if she thinks someone else has got a better deal of things than she has. Alisha interviews that Charlotte and DELETE HER were suspiciously silent during this meeting even though they have their own problems with Amba, which she feels is dishonest and two-faced. Charlotte interviews that she didn't want to pile on because she's been friends with Amba since boot camp and she is a nice girl, "but she moans so much". Heh. Alisha tells Amba that she gives the impression of seeing herself above everyone else. Alisha brings up the pose-copying issue from yesterday, and Kirsty tells Amba that she doesn't even apologise when she's wrong. Harleen tells her to be aware of the way she comes across. Amba interviews that the meeting really helped, though I suspect she regrets calling it in the first place. Alisha interviews that most of the other girls probably won't let it go, because Amba didn't apologise. Gosh, imagine that, Alisha - someone not letting something go! Commercials.
E-Mail, read by Charlotte. "Being a model isn't just about being beautiful, we can also use our position to raise awareness and help others. So make sure you're ready to give a little extra - be ready by seven. Love, Elle." The girls speculate that they'll be involved in a campaign of some sort.
The next morning, they meet Sherry Adhami from the charity Beat Bullying, who ask them to take part in a photoshoot to demonstrate the effects of bullying. Alisha interviews that she was happy with this shoot because "obviously I've been bullied in my life, and I really wanted to do something to help." Far be it from me to play armchair psychologist, but I always feel rather sad for anyone who prefaces a story of how they've been bullied with the word "obviously". There is a man standing next to Sherry, who does not get to speak, but will later be identified as David Fairweather, this week's photographer. Weird. The girls go to make-up, but are called out midway through to see Sherry. Charlotte wonders what gives. Sherry tells them that she'd like them to meet a very important supporter of the charity, and Nicola Roberts walks out. The girls smile. Seriously: they shrieked like banshees for MIQUITA FUCKING OLIVER, and all Nicola Roberts gets is a couple of wan grins? Sort your priorities out, ladies. It does appear to be a slight delayed reaction, however, as the girls start to gasp a few seconds later. Maybe they just didn't actually know who she was at first, which is a bit embarrassing for all concerned, I imagine. Charlotte interviews that she's a massive Girls Aloud fan. [Has there been anything yet that Charlotte doesn't LOVE? - Helen] Nicola tells the girls that the girls need to put as much emotion into their photographs as possible. I giggle silently to myself at the irony of Nicola Roberts advising anyone on how best to come across in a photograph. Don't get me wrong, I love her and I think she is stunningly beautiful, but she does have a tendency to look a bit uncomfortable in still images.[Don't even start on her conveying emotion... - Helen] The girls go to leave, giggling, but DELETE HER turns back and says "do you know your cousin, Leon?" I would imagine she does, DELETE HER, yes. "Well, that's my brother Mark's best mate!" DELETE HER continues. The North West is a small world, it would seem. "I just thought that I'd say that!" DELETE HER finishes, realising that she's just made a complete tit of herself. Nicola looks a bit alarmed, as well she might.
Tiffany is the first to do her shoot, and has been made-up to look like she has two black eyes. David explains that we will need to see the effect that bullying has had on her. TIffany explains that her scenario is that she is being bullied on her looks, and she needs to look in the mirror and imagine hating what she sees. Shame she doesn't have a ton of experience of that to drawn on, isn't it? Watching the shoot, Nicola comments that Tiffany is like an actress. She is doing a pretty great job, in all fairness. Olivia has had her hair dampened and will be filming in a makeshift toilet cubicle, and interviews that she tried to put herself in that position, mentally - I assume the position of having recently been flushed. David tells her to look a bit more scared, but is impressed with her performance, as is Nicola. Alisha is being chased in her scenario, and admits that she's been through that before and knows how it feels. Nicola likes the rawness of Alisha's shoot. Sherry thinks Alisha got it "down to a t". Charlotte had her lips literally stitched together for her shoot, which looks hella painful. She does a good job of tensing her face, and Nicola thinks she's very professional. Hilariously, as soon as the shoot wraps, the sheer force of Charlotte's contained grin busts her stitches. Ouch.
Amba's shoot is about cyber-bullying, with a random model's hands attacking her through a computer screen. Her scared face is a bit shit. Joy is in a hospital bed with a made-up broken nose for her shoot, and Charlotte interviews that Joy seemed rather affected by it all, and wonders if there's an issue there going back into Joy's history. I kind of judge both Charlotte and the producers for including that particular clip, because that's up to Joy to decide whether she wants to discuss it, if indeed there is anything to talk about there, and until that day it's not really anyone else's business. Joy rocks her shoot, though. She interviews that it's hard, because normally you have your "hair done up nice" to help you look good on camera, whereas here you have to drawn on your own ability to sell the shot. Afterwards, Joy admits that her mother was physically abused for some time, so she has some familiarity with the scenario. So we didn't really need that clip of Charlotte talking about it at all, did we? Joy says she tried not to think about that part of things too much, as she thinks it would've affected her too much.
Kirsty's scenario is being peer-pressured into sex, and says that she has to look scared, but not too scared. Nicola is impressed with how well Kirsty handled a difficult concept. DELETE HER admits that she's never been bullied, so she has no real first-hand experience of the situations they're being asked to portray. She says she just tried to think of things that made her sad, instead. It doesn't go well, though the problem seems to be the bed rather than DELETE HER - and Nicola fixes the shot so we can't see DELETE HER's knickers. Amelia's situation is all about peer-pressure with drugs, and she tells one of the people at the shoot that she's never been offered drugs, "but with my personality, I'd be terrible." Hee hee. She's looking very Florence Welch here. I'm still not sure she's got her face in check yet. Nicola gives her some feedback on her pictures and how she's not really getting the shot. "I have been told that several times now," Amelia admits. Nicola (the contestant, not the popstar) is being an outsider in her shot, being judged for dressing differently, which she says is what happened to her at school. In Coventry? Surely not! Sherry says that the pain is clearly still raw for Nicola as you could see it in her eyes. Nicola says she was determined to get a good picture and show people how much it could hurt. Harleen interviews that she's had a similar experience to her shoot, so it was a bit like reliving it. I'm not really sure what Harleen's shoot is actually about, but it seems to involve a lot of her scrunching up her face and looking a bit stressed. Some of the other girls are watching the shoot from a balcony and commenting that it's taking her a long time to get it right, but it seems to get better as she goes along, with David encouraging her to scream. "I found it funny," Tiffany guffaws. Harleen interviews that although it upset her and brought a lot back, if it helps one person, it'll be worth it.
E-Mail, read by Amba. "This week you've been working hard, but for one the dream to become Britain's Next Top Model ends tomorrow. Get some rest, and we'll see you all soon, love Elle." Tiffany interviews that she thinks everyone in the house is a model, but not everyone has the potential to be Britain's Next Top Model. Alisha interviews that if she were in the bottom two and DELETE HER was going through, she'd be all "What the hell?" Tiffany interviews that she'd stop modelling altogether if she were cut before Harleen. How rude.
Commercials.
It's judgement time. Elle welcomes the girls to the judging room, and introduces the judges, including this week's guest judge, Nicola Roberts. Elle tells them that this week they learned how cutthroat the industry could be when Susan was axed unexpectedly, and they learned that modelling is not just about beauty, but also about being an ambassador. Alisha's the first one called up, and congratulated for her challenge win. We see her Red shot, which is pretty good. Her bullying shot is really good, and apparently she got it in the first shot. Nicola is next, but Charley feels her expression is more like she's yearning for a long-lost love. Julien says that she's on the verge of becoming boring and weak. Elle tells her that she needs to believe in herself. Kirsty feels like she could've pushed her shot a lot more; Charley thinks she looks almost sexy in it, but she shouldn't, because it's not that sort of campaign. Tiffany is asked by Charley if having a haircut she didn't like made the shot really easy. "I'd better not say," Tiffany admits.[I get the feeling that Charley is going to drop a massive clanger every week. I look forward to it - Helen] Joy's shot is incredible, and Grace says she'd believe it if she saw it as a billboard. Julien thinks she could win this competition, but she needs to believe in herself. Amelia's shot is not good - she explains that she was trying to convey feeling confused by her emotions, but Elle giggles that she's confused by the photograph itself. Julien tells her she needs to work harder, and Elle thinks she's modelling by numbers. Charlotte's shot is one of Elle's favourites, as she only had her eyes to express herself. Julien thinks it isn't convincing and shows no emotion, but let's face it, Julien just likes the sound of his own voice complaining. Also, he's wearing a t-shirt with a tuxedo print on it, which immediately makes anything he has to say about anything at all utterly invalid. Amba is nervous to see her picture, which isn't really great. Elle doesn't like it, and Nicola wanted to see more fear in her face. Grace tells her she should never be boring in a shot, and she's a bit worried about her. Harleen looks fabulous today, and Elle says as much. Unfortunately, her photo is not good - as far as I can tell it's about feeling trapped and alone and unable to speak out about bullying, but Harleen's face just isn't conveying that. Elle tells her there were only two shots the photographer could use. Olivia's shot is great, and Elle is pleased to see her working so well by herself because she required so much direction when Elle worked with her. Julien loves her picture and thinks she's his shining star. DELETE HER has a terrible picture, and Julien says that he was bullied at school (and of course, having learnt from this harrowing experience, he grew into the compassionate and affirming adult we know and love today) and used to go home to his bedroom to cry, and that DELETE HER should be conveying that emotion in her picture, but she isn't.
Deliberation. Nicola thinks Alisha needs no deliberation, she's brilliant. Nicola has not had her best week, but her previous work holds her in good stead. Kirsty was passionate about the campaign on the day, but it's not coming across in the shot. Charley thinks she's giving the same look in all her shots. Tiffany was amazing on the day. Joy is a superstar in the making. Amelia needs to maintain a pose and have conviction. Charlotte is the most commercial girl, but Grace thinks she's going "from cheese to mould, i.e. she's growing on me." Grace, darling, I love you, but you really need to work on your metaphors. Amba's picture didn't deliver. Harleen is not very good. Sorry, she's not very good in this picture, Elle just paused in a very unfortunate place when saying that. However, Elle is really pleased with the outcome of Harleen's makeover. But, asks Grace, how long must they spend on her? Grace thinks Olivia is limited. DELETE HER is beautiful, but lacks the longevity to continue in the competition.
Elle has 11 beautiful girls before her, but just 10 photographs in her hands. Alisha gets first callout. Following her are Charlotte, Tiffany, Olivia, Nicola, Joy, DELETE HER (seriously?!?), Kirsty and Amba, "by the skin of your teeth, missy." That leaves Amelia and Harleen in the bottom two. Not a good week for the redheads, is it? Elle has only one photograph in her hand. Harleen is more beautiful than she has ever seen her and has really blossomed, but this hasn't translated in her pictures. Amelia is beautiful, but is acting as she thinks a model should and this is hampering her progress. Amelia gets a picture. Elle hugs Harleen and tells her she has done an amazing job. Harleen thanks her for the opportunity and wishes the other girls luck. Harleen interviews that she thought she'd done well in the shoot, but obviously she didn't get across what she was trying to. She's glad that she came to the show and it was the best experience of her life. She's going to miss everyone, but she feels that she's got enough to go out there and carry on. And fade from the montage.
Next time: the girls pose in Carnaby Street, and then pose for a photoshoot covered in SEXY CHOCOLATE. Beyoncé pre-records an appearance, and Joy is nearly set on fire on a photoshoot. Blimey.
Sunday, 25 July 2010
Doing the 'Do's
Top 13 - 19th July 2010
Hello, and welcome to the week three recap of Britain's Next Top Model. Apologies for the delay. I've been crying about my haircut...Not really, I'm not completely daft. But this is the best episode of any Top Model Series, the Makeover episode. Place your bets for the first one to cry.
The episode begins, as always, with a recap. Last week the contestants were put through their posing paces, moved into the model house (which ironically looks like it is a model of a proper house) and Julien LETS RIP in the catwalk challenge. We see Hannah crying again and relive her ELIMINATION SHOCK.
This week we are promised that Miquita Oliver will set a style challenge (yes, really) and that there will be tears at makeovers and we don't have to wait long to find out who's getting the boy's haircut. It's Tiffany! And she cries. Lots.
Titles, and it occurs to me that Susan is going to be one of those contestants with a posing face. I've noticed that her face in the titles is the same one she's pulled in all her photographs so far. We'll have to wait and see if she pulls the same one tonight.
Delita kicks us off proper by giving her side of the SHOCK DEPARTURE storyline. She said that the elimination was really horrible. We see Hannah depart for the second time tonight. Delita thinks that what Hannah did was a really nice thing to do and she really appreciates it. Tiffany thinks it's better Hannah has gone because everyone in the competition knows what they want now and everyone can compete seriously. Nice.
The girls get the first E-Mail of the episode. "A model needs to rock any look, but can they pull off their Granny's wardrobe. Tomorrow is your chance to see if you can pull of any style". I briefly ponder if this means any as in lots of different ones, or any as in any at all. I'm going for the former.
Harleen helpfully describes what we can see for ourselves. They are in some warehousey place. Olivia is excited, and she doesn't have a clue what's going to happen.
The girls are met by Miquita Oliver! This is another cue for lots of screaming. Nicola is excited because she's a Style Icon. Harleen is excited because she loves her, but Harleen says she loves everything. Miquita is here to set them a challenge, which is not about not punching her, it's about vintage clothes. Miquita loves vintage clothes, but acknowledges that it's a look that can go seriously wrong. She handily offers us a visual description of this via her outfit. Miquita has brought them to the Rocket warehouse to see if they can do vintage without looking like their grandma. The warehouse is full of clothes and they have five minutes to create one stylish outfit. They will be judged on what hey are wearing when the time runs out.
The girls immediately run off, screaming of course, and rifle through rails of garish stuff in sequins. Charlotte panicked slightly. She got to the clothes rail and was unsure where to start.
Joy found the challenge hard because there was, like, so many clothes and she had to, like, put them together. She's no good at shopping anyway, it takes her, like, two hours to find an outfit she likes so she finds this, like, quite difficult. Like. [Joy: aptly named as ever. - Steve]
Miquita spends the whole time with a stopwatch, laughing behind her hand. Poor dim Alisha didn't know what vintage was, so she just told herself to pick something nice. Something nice was some "Batty Rider" shorts, black and gold shoes and a black top. Alisha thinks she looks nice but tell us the other girls told her she looks like she is going to Carnival.
Tiffany tells us she had to find all the jewelry and the shoes and everything. Everyone was taking their clothes off and putting things on. Yes, Tiffany, that's the challenge. Tiffany got a bit panicky because five minutes isn't enough.
Miquita does some more laughing behind her hand. [Disingenuous cow. - Steve]
The result is varied. Kirsty is wearing a belted white shirt with some chains over her shoulder. Nicola has come as one of Bananarama. Tiffany is wearing a red and black fringed Go-Go dress. Alisha does indeed look like she is going to Carnival. Rachelle is wearing denim, shades and a polkadot scarf. Amelia has come as a French stereotype, Susan is wearing the national dress of an unidentified country. Joy appears to be six and dressed in her Mum's best clothes and Charlotte is in a red shirt and leggings. Only Harleen and Amba don't look like they dressed in the dark.
Honorary mention goes to Olivia who is wearing high waisted jeans, a tartan shirt and a leopard print shirt. Amelia rightly says she looks like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Another goes to Delita, who says she is going for a young Michael Jackson look (I thinks she means 80's, not the Jackson Five years, bless) but ends up with the old Su Pollard. This 'look' comprises of a huge sequined jacket with a clashing scarf. Miquita openly laughs in her face. Delita says that she would wear the jacket. Miquita can't help herself and splutters out a "really?!". Rachelle is worried by Delita's outfit.
However, the winner is Amba. She is wearing a hat and a granny blouse with some shorts and looks a bit like Mary Poppins. She is Well Shocked, surprised and really happy. Amba is told that she will get five extra minutes of shooting time on this week's photoshoot. Miquita tells her to use it wiseley. Thanks, model Miquita. The catch, Miquita gleefully tells her, is that those five minutes will be taken from another contestant and she has to chose now in front of everyone. Amba chooses Kirsty, as she has done so well in the previous weeks and is the most competition. Kirsty is flattered by this as she didn't see herself as competition. Miquita tells everyone well done.
Coming up! Soft focus Elle announces the makeovers! Elle tells a crying Tiffany that her hair is going to be REALLY SHORT, like a Pixie!
After the break it's E-Mail time again. Cue lots of whooping. Kirsty reads it to us. "I think it's time you saw a Supermodel at work. Be ready at 11am". The girls arrive at a studio and Elle is getting her photo taken whilst swishing a white dress around. The girls come in and noisily interrupt before regarding her with reverence.
Elle tells the contestants that she is shooting for Marie Claire and it's been brilliant for her today, but what she really wants to talk about is style. She's been going through magazines looking for pictures and images that relate to each and every one of the girls. They're all going to celebrity hairdresser Daniel Galvin, who has done the hair of Madonna, Catherine Zeta Jones and Twiggy, for their MAKEOVERS! Elle is keeping schtum, but she will tell them that one of them is going blonde, one is getting extra hair and one is going short.
Amba is worried, her worst nightmare is getting her hair shaved off. I could think of worse things, but I can appreciate that this is at the forefront of their minds. Tiffany has the feeling that she's going to get the short hair. she just knows it. Amelia thinks that she's in for a bob or a slap head.
All is revealed as the girls sit in their chairs. Harleen is getting more hair, after she said in the first week that her short hair defines her. Charlotte is getting Glamorous Supermodel hair, which she calls the Mini Elle. Kirsty will be going blonde. Joy will be losing a lot of length and she holds up her ponytail to, like, prove it. Amba is getting her natural colour lightened and is told to think Leona Lewis.
Nicola will be going dark, which she is told will make her hair look more glamorous, thicker and give it more depth. Susan will be going redder, and is told to think Julianne Moore in A Single Man. She gives out the least happy "yay" ever. Delita is getting a sophisticated and beautiful do, but doesn't know what a sophisticated length is. [I think we're going to end up naming a lot of things that Delete Her doesn't know by the time of her eventual elimination. - Steve]
Rachelle is getting a Naomi, despite being told last week that trying to be Naomi was her downfall. She's really happy, of course. They like Amelia's hair, but she's getting more gloss.
Now we come to poor Tiffany. Tiffany doesn't want short hair. She doesn't like short hair. She's had it before and it doesn't suit her. She really hopes it's not her that's getting short hair. Oh dear... She's crying before the hairdresser even touches her. Charlotte feels bad because she's so upset but thinks it will look good.
At this very moment Elle herself comes swanning down the stairs to Fergie's "Glamorous". Rachelle can't believe it. Susan says she's a goddess. She appraises the girls. She loves x three Harleen's new do. Charlotte gleefully tells her she's getting a "Baby Elle" hairdo. Elle tells her that it's more a Baby Giselle. I get the feeling that's not what Charlotte wants to hear because Charlotte LOVES her.
At this point Tiffany is still crying and is red faced. Elle is sympathetic. I get the feeling that Tyra Banks is sitting in America at that very moment with the feeling that something, somewhere is VERY WRONG. Elle tells her that she's the only girl with the jawline to carry off that kind of haircut and that she should take it as a compliment. Tiffany says she knows this, and is sorry. Elle helpfully regales her with a tale about one time when she got her hair cut and it was orange and buzzed up the back, and she looked like a boy but she never worked so much in her life. Tiffany starts to look better and perks up a bit enough to ask how short. Elle then gleefully tells her "really short, like a pixie!" and she immediately dissolves into tears again. [Hee. - Steve] They hug.
Alisha says she feels a bit sad for Tiffany, but she needs to dry her eyes, because in the fashion industry your hair has to change so you can stay in fashion. Alisha is worried that she's last. She should be. She is told she's losing the weave and getting her hair cut short. The hairdresser asks if that's OK. It's clearly not. Alisha isn't happy at all and cries throughout the whole thing. That's swift justice for you.
There is lots of hand holding across the sinks and another shot of Tiffany crying. Harleen says they'll just have to get used to it. From behind her copious weave. Tiffany says the only reason she let them cut her hair is because Elle wanted her to have it done. At least I think that's what she said. That girl doesn't half mumble.
Alisha's never had short hair before, and feels like she has nothing to hide behind and now all she has is her face. We return to Tiffany who is still crying. Kirsty laughs in her face as she is getting her hair cut.
Amba tells us that she had an amazing day, first Elle turns up at the salon, then Grace! Grace arrives and shouts "Girls in the House!!" I proper love her now. Kirsty echos me by calling her fiiiaaarce, and saying she's her kind of woman. Grace doesn't know who to go to first. She loves Susan's hair, calling her a glamourpuss and telling her that she looks expensive and luxurious. Grace acknowledges that Rachelle has been through a big change and calls her brave. I can't see what's different apart from the fringe but I'm not a Creative Director. We cut again to the tear filled faces of Tiffany and Alisha. Charlotte swishes around. She LOVES her hair!
Grace points out Nicola's lovely cheekbones and jawline that her new hair colour has apparently given her. Nicola is over the moon. Joy's hairdo moves Grace to dance. She's got a short bob and looks on the verge of tears. Amelia tells Grace she thinks her hair has more style, but would have kept it longer. Grace wants to know how long she wants it. Amelia gives the only correct answer, that it's about what they want, not what she wants. Grace thinks Harleen's hair is beautiful and that Olivia has a femininity she hasn't seen before. Amba has indeed morphed into Leona Lewis. [Amazing. - Steve] Grace thinks it's well posh. She also thinks that Delita's hair is a lot sleeker and she sees her eyes before she sees the do. Grace then moves on to Alisha, who she says is now a big eyed girl and that she looks really beautiful. Alisha says that it will take some getting used to but she does like it. Grace tells Kirsty to Rock Out her blonde hair.
We then move on to poor, poor Tiffany. Grace thanks the hairdresser on her behalf because she thinks it's an amazing job and that Tiffany will like it soon. Tiffany doesn't look so sure and neither do I. It's boys hair. Tiffany can't believe she let them do it, and she hopes Elle can see that it shows she really wants it.
Grace now has a message from Auntie Elle and gives it to Susan to read out. She has to scoot off, but she'll see them at elimination.
"Can you handle the world of Couture?" the E-Mail asks, "Be ready nice and early for some high fashion!"
COMING UP! Nicola looks like La Roux and Tiffany looks like she's going to cry (again).
We're back. It's Oxford Street! It's somewhere warehousey! Bad Romance is playing, and the bit about "wanting your ugly" is cunningly cued up with a shot of some astoundingly ugly jewelry. Elizabeth Galton, the Creative Director of Links of London is here with her couture collecting. She wants the girls to do a strong editorial shoot with her unique pieces of jewelry that are worth up to £50,000. She wants the girls to channel an Urban Warrior look for the shoot and sends them off to hair and makeup.
Nicola thinks she can do this, she's been waiting for a shoot like this. She arrives and tells Galton and the FitPhotographer that she's nervous but excited. They want her to give a strong look, throw some good angles and get the cuffs she's wearing into shot when she can. They think that she did really well and has set the bar high for the other girls.
Joy is out next, wearing a cage which she tells us is worth more than anything in her house. Galton and the FitPhotographer find her difficult to shoot and apparently she's not thinking of her face enough, which is tense with no variety.
Delita's outfit, which she calls a costume, has giant spikes on it, and she feels like Lady Ga Ga. She also doesn't give enough variety. Galton and FitPhotographer think they've got the shot but there's not a selection to chose from.
Amelia is told she's doing her "Rabbit in the headlights" face again, which she said put her off because Grace brought it up last week.
Charlotte told us that there was lights, jewellery and hair on her shoot. she said it helped her get into warrior mode. Galton and FitPhotographer think that she was good, easy to work with, capable and relaxed in front of the camera.
Kirsty's next, and we're reminded that she has five minutes less this week. Galton and the FitPhotographer tell her not to let it work against her, as they would expect a professional to be able to get the shot in five minutes. No pressure then. Kirsty said that she didn't want to think about having less time and carried on as normal. Galton and FitPhotographer said she didn't have anything to worry about, because they got their shot within the first few frames and they like her face and hair.
Rachelle says that she was told to hold the lights to illuminate the jewellery and be interesting and make shapes. She said she used her flexibility to achieve this. Oh Rachelle, have you never watched this before? You have to forget how to be a dancer because modelling is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. She complained about not getting much feedback and they didn't say if she was doing what they wanted her to do. She left the shoot thinking she did terribly, and I have a terrible sense of foreboding for Rachelle. Galton and FitPhotographer think that she was hard work and expressionless, and that she gave the same face in every frame.
Tiffany is still distraught over hairgate. I feel that it deserves -gate status at this point. Susan thinks that she's under the weather. Tiffany proves that her haircut is really bad by saying that they've had to re-wet it three times because they can't find a good style for it and it's getting to her now. FitPhotographer says that she's looking unhappy in the shot. Tiffany later explains that she had been crying all day and all night and this was coming through in the shot. Galton and FitPhotographer say that although she looks like she was going to cry in the first few, her elfin features really worked in the shot. They like her look but say that she has to commit to it.
Susan says she felt like a new person after her hair and makeup, but she goes into the studio and pulls the same face as she always does. Galton and FitPhotographer like her because she is bouncy and brings energy to the shoot, and they like that she's brought her personality.
Alisha next. Alisha has been waiting for this day since the beginning of the competition, and she's sick of sharing the limelight. It's her time to shine. They like her. They say that her attitude is good and that she was keen to please. She worked it.
Harleen said that she was trying to do high fashion, high energy poses but she didn't think they came across like that. Galton and FitPhotographer think that she needs to remember her face more and give more versatility. They also say that she has a bit of an upside-down mouth and that she needs to adapt her face so she doesn't look upset.
Amba gets her extra five minutes, but she doesn't want the judges to say that she needed them. She thinks the extra time is a blessing and a curse. [Someone's watched this show before. Well done, Amba! - Steve] She doesn't need it after all, because they love her. She knew what she was doing, she knew what to do with the dress and she was generally amazing.
Finally we have Olivia. Galton and FitPhotographer tell her to soften her face, then she looks to happy. She answers them back and sniggers. They think that she needs to be more careful she doesn't rub people up the wrong way. Olivia thinks that they didn't explain themselves properly in the beginning, and if they did, she'd have understood.
Adverts! Elimination after the break.
Break over, we arrive in the eliminaton room. The girls are all impossibly co-ordinated and well turned out. Elle is wowed by the fantastic transformation of all the girls, and it's wonderful to see them all looking so beautiful. We are reminded that it's the second elimination and Elle has her panel to help. It's international fashion designer Julien MacDonald, Grace Woodward, Creative Director and stylist who is looking fab in a red ruffley shirt and international model Charley Speed. Tonight's guest judge is completely randomly Noemie Lenoir, who has been in French Vogue, Sports Illustrated and the Marks and Spencer's ads in her pants.
We are reminded of the prizes, although the chance to participate in a Revlon campaign is decidedly different to winning the part on a Revlon campaign.
Charlotte is up first. She loves her makeover, obviously. Julien doesn't like her picture. He wants to, but he doesn't. He says that she looks like a normal Cornish girl who should be eating a pastie, and nothing else. [And Julien earns the ire of the entire Cornish people *rolls up sleeves* - Steve] Charlotte mumbles something about her choker being uncomfortable, and instead of a Tyra-like speech about "working it" or suchlike, Elle and Charley sympathise and said she did a good job looking comfortable.
Next up is "beautiful Tiffany". Elle reminds her that the last time she saw her she was in tears. Tiffany says she is still shocked by her hair. Elle says that everyone has had times when their hair colour (length surely?) hasn't worked and that Tiffany shouldn't let it take over who she is and her personality. They love her photo though, they think she looks like Edie Sedgewick. Charley thinks that the shock of her haircut comes through in the photo. Julien disagrees and thinks it's current and worthy of an editorial.
Then we have Delita, who isn't required to talk. Grace isn't convinced by her photo. She thinks that her feet should be two feet wider apart and she should be showing some crotch. Noemie tactfully explains that she would have given more "front" and opened her legs more and made her face more angry.
Alisha is told that she has a beautiful, neat head now. she admits to crying when she had it done but now she thinks she looks fierce and she really likes it. Her picture is awful, but Elle thinks it's amazing. Julien has seen it before and thinks it's not interesting but Elle loves the simplicity, her face and body look great and the jewellery looks great.
Next, Rochelle. The judges think she could have gotten more strength into the shot by facing the camera. Julien says that she needs to practice in a mirror to see how she looks in photos. I think that if that is the best shot, I really don't want to see the worst.
Nicola's photo is brilliant. She looks loads like La Roux, but in a good way, really. They all love it and say well done.
Harleen's turn. Julien says that love is in the air and he loves her. Grace loves her eyes and legs. She's not blown away but thinks she's starting to work with what she's got. Noemie loves the face.
Susan is unsurprisingly pulling her usual face in the photograph, and it's extremely awkward. It's what the American version of the show would call Broken Down Doll. Julien doesn't like the dress or the pose but likes her face. Grace doesn't understand what she's tring to put across, and that if she is going to play a role, she should play it.
Olivia doesn't fare much better. The female judges think she looks uncomfortable. Charley then goes off on a ridiculous fantasy tangent about how she basically looks like a prostitute in a dirty alley and it's really good. Grace thinks it's tense, and she doesn't believe that she's wearing an expensive necklace that makes her feel gorgeous and sexy.
Amelia's photo is terrible. She is holding a light on her face and it's casting a shadow over all of it. Elle grudgingly admits that she didn't handle herself to the best of her ability. Charley doesn't think she gave it 100%. Noemie says she would have held the light differently.
Julien thinks that Joy has gone from council to chic and that she looks really good, but doesn't like the picture. Grace thinks her hands are in the wrong place and her head is too far back. Elle tells her that she should have put her hands on her hips and looked straight into the camera.
Amba is the challenge winner, and the judges are keen to see how she used her extra five minutes. They love the picture. They think it's simple and elegant. Noemie says she's got strong eyes and when Amba looks at the camera you can see what she wants inside. Julien thinks that she looks expensive, and it's just as well, because he likes expensive things and that Beyonce should move over.
Kirsty is last. Despite her lost five minutes, Julien thinks her shot is Vogue worthy. Grace wouldn't go that far. Kirsty tells her off for ruining her moment, as does Elle. Grace says she won't say it again.
During deliberation, the judges will make the hard decision about who is going home. Charley likes that Charlotte isn't smiling in her picture but feels she could have gone further. Grace thinks that although Tiffany hates her makeover, it was the making of a style icon. Julien loves the photo of Alisha but thinks that she knows she is beautiful and that comes across. They agree that Delita's picture is horrible, but that she's a great girl, but Charley wonders if she's got the strength to go further. Rachelle's face is strong but they don't like her body. They think that Nicola looks incredible. Julien thinks that Harleen looks like Wonderwoman, and that she's gone from a nobody to a superhero hottie. They call Susan Julianne Moore. Julien says that she's nice but he wants to see her go nuts.
Grace thinks that Olivia's picture is so boring she wants to go to sleep. Charley is still enjoying his prostitute/punter fantasy and leaps to defend it. Amelia didn't know what to do with the light and Noemie thinks this may be a confidence issue. Julien says that were there is joy, there is pain, and that Joy's picture is definitely pain. Everyone loves Amba. Noemie says that it's tres chic. Elle then speaks French and says très belle. The love is extended to Kirsty. They love her look, her attitude and she sets the standard for the other girls. It's a difficult decision.
So we're back with the girls. There are 13 girls before Elle, but only 12 will still be in the running.
Nicola is called first. Her makeover made it. Followed by Amba, Kirsty then Tiffany, who needs to embrace her hairdo as her attitude will change everything. Next is Charlotte, Delita, Alisha, Susan, Joy, Harleen and finally Amelia.
This leaves Rachelle and Olivia. I couldn't pick who was worst between them, but Rachelle had the photoshoot of doom so my money is on her. The girl who isn't called has to go back to the house, pack her things and leave. The girl in the photograph is...Olivia. Rachelle is going home. Elle knows it's not the end of the road for her, she has doen well and is a beautiful girl who will definitley continue to work.
Rachelle is sad that she's been eliminated, but knew it was her weakest week. She's not surprised, but she gave it her all and knows she tried her hardest.
Next Week! Go sees end in a SHOCK ELIMINATION! Elle mentors the girls and they meet a pop idol on the photoshoot, although I'm sure she was Popstars: The rivals.
Steve will be with you for next week's recap.
Hello, and welcome to the week three recap of Britain's Next Top Model. Apologies for the delay. I've been crying about my haircut...Not really, I'm not completely daft. But this is the best episode of any Top Model Series, the Makeover episode. Place your bets for the first one to cry.
The episode begins, as always, with a recap. Last week the contestants were put through their posing paces, moved into the model house (which ironically looks like it is a model of a proper house) and Julien LETS RIP in the catwalk challenge. We see Hannah crying again and relive her ELIMINATION SHOCK.
This week we are promised that Miquita Oliver will set a style challenge (yes, really) and that there will be tears at makeovers and we don't have to wait long to find out who's getting the boy's haircut. It's Tiffany! And she cries. Lots.
Titles, and it occurs to me that Susan is going to be one of those contestants with a posing face. I've noticed that her face in the titles is the same one she's pulled in all her photographs so far. We'll have to wait and see if she pulls the same one tonight.
Delita kicks us off proper by giving her side of the SHOCK DEPARTURE storyline. She said that the elimination was really horrible. We see Hannah depart for the second time tonight. Delita thinks that what Hannah did was a really nice thing to do and she really appreciates it. Tiffany thinks it's better Hannah has gone because everyone in the competition knows what they want now and everyone can compete seriously. Nice.
The girls get the first E-Mail of the episode. "A model needs to rock any look, but can they pull off their Granny's wardrobe. Tomorrow is your chance to see if you can pull of any style". I briefly ponder if this means any as in lots of different ones, or any as in any at all. I'm going for the former.
Harleen helpfully describes what we can see for ourselves. They are in some warehousey place. Olivia is excited, and she doesn't have a clue what's going to happen.
The girls are met by Miquita Oliver! This is another cue for lots of screaming. Nicola is excited because she's a Style Icon. Harleen is excited because she loves her, but Harleen says she loves everything. Miquita is here to set them a challenge, which is not about not punching her, it's about vintage clothes. Miquita loves vintage clothes, but acknowledges that it's a look that can go seriously wrong. She handily offers us a visual description of this via her outfit. Miquita has brought them to the Rocket warehouse to see if they can do vintage without looking like their grandma. The warehouse is full of clothes and they have five minutes to create one stylish outfit. They will be judged on what hey are wearing when the time runs out.
The girls immediately run off, screaming of course, and rifle through rails of garish stuff in sequins. Charlotte panicked slightly. She got to the clothes rail and was unsure where to start.
Joy found the challenge hard because there was, like, so many clothes and she had to, like, put them together. She's no good at shopping anyway, it takes her, like, two hours to find an outfit she likes so she finds this, like, quite difficult. Like. [Joy: aptly named as ever. - Steve]
Miquita spends the whole time with a stopwatch, laughing behind her hand. Poor dim Alisha didn't know what vintage was, so she just told herself to pick something nice. Something nice was some "Batty Rider" shorts, black and gold shoes and a black top. Alisha thinks she looks nice but tell us the other girls told her she looks like she is going to Carnival.
Tiffany tells us she had to find all the jewelry and the shoes and everything. Everyone was taking their clothes off and putting things on. Yes, Tiffany, that's the challenge. Tiffany got a bit panicky because five minutes isn't enough.
Miquita does some more laughing behind her hand. [Disingenuous cow. - Steve]
The result is varied. Kirsty is wearing a belted white shirt with some chains over her shoulder. Nicola has come as one of Bananarama. Tiffany is wearing a red and black fringed Go-Go dress. Alisha does indeed look like she is going to Carnival. Rachelle is wearing denim, shades and a polkadot scarf. Amelia has come as a French stereotype, Susan is wearing the national dress of an unidentified country. Joy appears to be six and dressed in her Mum's best clothes and Charlotte is in a red shirt and leggings. Only Harleen and Amba don't look like they dressed in the dark.
Honorary mention goes to Olivia who is wearing high waisted jeans, a tartan shirt and a leopard print shirt. Amelia rightly says she looks like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Another goes to Delita, who says she is going for a young Michael Jackson look (I thinks she means 80's, not the Jackson Five years, bless) but ends up with the old Su Pollard. This 'look' comprises of a huge sequined jacket with a clashing scarf. Miquita openly laughs in her face. Delita says that she would wear the jacket. Miquita can't help herself and splutters out a "really?!". Rachelle is worried by Delita's outfit.
However, the winner is Amba. She is wearing a hat and a granny blouse with some shorts and looks a bit like Mary Poppins. She is Well Shocked, surprised and really happy. Amba is told that she will get five extra minutes of shooting time on this week's photoshoot. Miquita tells her to use it wiseley. Thanks, model Miquita. The catch, Miquita gleefully tells her, is that those five minutes will be taken from another contestant and she has to chose now in front of everyone. Amba chooses Kirsty, as she has done so well in the previous weeks and is the most competition. Kirsty is flattered by this as she didn't see herself as competition. Miquita tells everyone well done.
Coming up! Soft focus Elle announces the makeovers! Elle tells a crying Tiffany that her hair is going to be REALLY SHORT, like a Pixie!
After the break it's E-Mail time again. Cue lots of whooping. Kirsty reads it to us. "I think it's time you saw a Supermodel at work. Be ready at 11am". The girls arrive at a studio and Elle is getting her photo taken whilst swishing a white dress around. The girls come in and noisily interrupt before regarding her with reverence.
Elle tells the contestants that she is shooting for Marie Claire and it's been brilliant for her today, but what she really wants to talk about is style. She's been going through magazines looking for pictures and images that relate to each and every one of the girls. They're all going to celebrity hairdresser Daniel Galvin, who has done the hair of Madonna, Catherine Zeta Jones and Twiggy, for their MAKEOVERS! Elle is keeping schtum, but she will tell them that one of them is going blonde, one is getting extra hair and one is going short.
Amba is worried, her worst nightmare is getting her hair shaved off. I could think of worse things, but I can appreciate that this is at the forefront of their minds. Tiffany has the feeling that she's going to get the short hair. she just knows it. Amelia thinks that she's in for a bob or a slap head.
All is revealed as the girls sit in their chairs. Harleen is getting more hair, after she said in the first week that her short hair defines her. Charlotte is getting Glamorous Supermodel hair, which she calls the Mini Elle. Kirsty will be going blonde. Joy will be losing a lot of length and she holds up her ponytail to, like, prove it. Amba is getting her natural colour lightened and is told to think Leona Lewis.
Nicola will be going dark, which she is told will make her hair look more glamorous, thicker and give it more depth. Susan will be going redder, and is told to think Julianne Moore in A Single Man. She gives out the least happy "yay" ever. Delita is getting a sophisticated and beautiful do, but doesn't know what a sophisticated length is. [I think we're going to end up naming a lot of things that Delete Her doesn't know by the time of her eventual elimination. - Steve]
Rachelle is getting a Naomi, despite being told last week that trying to be Naomi was her downfall. She's really happy, of course. They like Amelia's hair, but she's getting more gloss.
Now we come to poor Tiffany. Tiffany doesn't want short hair. She doesn't like short hair. She's had it before and it doesn't suit her. She really hopes it's not her that's getting short hair. Oh dear... She's crying before the hairdresser even touches her. Charlotte feels bad because she's so upset but thinks it will look good.
At this very moment Elle herself comes swanning down the stairs to Fergie's "Glamorous". Rachelle can't believe it. Susan says she's a goddess. She appraises the girls. She loves x three Harleen's new do. Charlotte gleefully tells her she's getting a "Baby Elle" hairdo. Elle tells her that it's more a Baby Giselle. I get the feeling that's not what Charlotte wants to hear because Charlotte LOVES her.
At this point Tiffany is still crying and is red faced. Elle is sympathetic. I get the feeling that Tyra Banks is sitting in America at that very moment with the feeling that something, somewhere is VERY WRONG. Elle tells her that she's the only girl with the jawline to carry off that kind of haircut and that she should take it as a compliment. Tiffany says she knows this, and is sorry. Elle helpfully regales her with a tale about one time when she got her hair cut and it was orange and buzzed up the back, and she looked like a boy but she never worked so much in her life. Tiffany starts to look better and perks up a bit enough to ask how short. Elle then gleefully tells her "really short, like a pixie!" and she immediately dissolves into tears again. [Hee. - Steve] They hug.
Alisha says she feels a bit sad for Tiffany, but she needs to dry her eyes, because in the fashion industry your hair has to change so you can stay in fashion. Alisha is worried that she's last. She should be. She is told she's losing the weave and getting her hair cut short. The hairdresser asks if that's OK. It's clearly not. Alisha isn't happy at all and cries throughout the whole thing. That's swift justice for you.
There is lots of hand holding across the sinks and another shot of Tiffany crying. Harleen says they'll just have to get used to it. From behind her copious weave. Tiffany says the only reason she let them cut her hair is because Elle wanted her to have it done. At least I think that's what she said. That girl doesn't half mumble.
Alisha's never had short hair before, and feels like she has nothing to hide behind and now all she has is her face. We return to Tiffany who is still crying. Kirsty laughs in her face as she is getting her hair cut.
Amba tells us that she had an amazing day, first Elle turns up at the salon, then Grace! Grace arrives and shouts "Girls in the House!!" I proper love her now. Kirsty echos me by calling her fiiiaaarce, and saying she's her kind of woman. Grace doesn't know who to go to first. She loves Susan's hair, calling her a glamourpuss and telling her that she looks expensive and luxurious. Grace acknowledges that Rachelle has been through a big change and calls her brave. I can't see what's different apart from the fringe but I'm not a Creative Director. We cut again to the tear filled faces of Tiffany and Alisha. Charlotte swishes around. She LOVES her hair!
Grace points out Nicola's lovely cheekbones and jawline that her new hair colour has apparently given her. Nicola is over the moon. Joy's hairdo moves Grace to dance. She's got a short bob and looks on the verge of tears. Amelia tells Grace she thinks her hair has more style, but would have kept it longer. Grace wants to know how long she wants it. Amelia gives the only correct answer, that it's about what they want, not what she wants. Grace thinks Harleen's hair is beautiful and that Olivia has a femininity she hasn't seen before. Amba has indeed morphed into Leona Lewis. [Amazing. - Steve] Grace thinks it's well posh. She also thinks that Delita's hair is a lot sleeker and she sees her eyes before she sees the do. Grace then moves on to Alisha, who she says is now a big eyed girl and that she looks really beautiful. Alisha says that it will take some getting used to but she does like it. Grace tells Kirsty to Rock Out her blonde hair.
We then move on to poor, poor Tiffany. Grace thanks the hairdresser on her behalf because she thinks it's an amazing job and that Tiffany will like it soon. Tiffany doesn't look so sure and neither do I. It's boys hair. Tiffany can't believe she let them do it, and she hopes Elle can see that it shows she really wants it.
Grace now has a message from Auntie Elle and gives it to Susan to read out. She has to scoot off, but she'll see them at elimination.
"Can you handle the world of Couture?" the E-Mail asks, "Be ready nice and early for some high fashion!"
COMING UP! Nicola looks like La Roux and Tiffany looks like she's going to cry (again).
We're back. It's Oxford Street! It's somewhere warehousey! Bad Romance is playing, and the bit about "wanting your ugly" is cunningly cued up with a shot of some astoundingly ugly jewelry. Elizabeth Galton, the Creative Director of Links of London is here with her couture collecting. She wants the girls to do a strong editorial shoot with her unique pieces of jewelry that are worth up to £50,000. She wants the girls to channel an Urban Warrior look for the shoot and sends them off to hair and makeup.
Nicola thinks she can do this, she's been waiting for a shoot like this. She arrives and tells Galton and the FitPhotographer that she's nervous but excited. They want her to give a strong look, throw some good angles and get the cuffs she's wearing into shot when she can. They think that she did really well and has set the bar high for the other girls.
Joy is out next, wearing a cage which she tells us is worth more than anything in her house. Galton and the FitPhotographer find her difficult to shoot and apparently she's not thinking of her face enough, which is tense with no variety.
Delita's outfit, which she calls a costume, has giant spikes on it, and she feels like Lady Ga Ga. She also doesn't give enough variety. Galton and FitPhotographer think they've got the shot but there's not a selection to chose from.
Amelia is told she's doing her "Rabbit in the headlights" face again, which she said put her off because Grace brought it up last week.
Charlotte told us that there was lights, jewellery and hair on her shoot. she said it helped her get into warrior mode. Galton and FitPhotographer think that she was good, easy to work with, capable and relaxed in front of the camera.
Kirsty's next, and we're reminded that she has five minutes less this week. Galton and the FitPhotographer tell her not to let it work against her, as they would expect a professional to be able to get the shot in five minutes. No pressure then. Kirsty said that she didn't want to think about having less time and carried on as normal. Galton and FitPhotographer said she didn't have anything to worry about, because they got their shot within the first few frames and they like her face and hair.
Rachelle says that she was told to hold the lights to illuminate the jewellery and be interesting and make shapes. She said she used her flexibility to achieve this. Oh Rachelle, have you never watched this before? You have to forget how to be a dancer because modelling is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. She complained about not getting much feedback and they didn't say if she was doing what they wanted her to do. She left the shoot thinking she did terribly, and I have a terrible sense of foreboding for Rachelle. Galton and FitPhotographer think that she was hard work and expressionless, and that she gave the same face in every frame.
Tiffany is still distraught over hairgate. I feel that it deserves -gate status at this point. Susan thinks that she's under the weather. Tiffany proves that her haircut is really bad by saying that they've had to re-wet it three times because they can't find a good style for it and it's getting to her now. FitPhotographer says that she's looking unhappy in the shot. Tiffany later explains that she had been crying all day and all night and this was coming through in the shot. Galton and FitPhotographer say that although she looks like she was going to cry in the first few, her elfin features really worked in the shot. They like her look but say that she has to commit to it.
Susan says she felt like a new person after her hair and makeup, but she goes into the studio and pulls the same face as she always does. Galton and FitPhotographer like her because she is bouncy and brings energy to the shoot, and they like that she's brought her personality.
Alisha next. Alisha has been waiting for this day since the beginning of the competition, and she's sick of sharing the limelight. It's her time to shine. They like her. They say that her attitude is good and that she was keen to please. She worked it.
Harleen said that she was trying to do high fashion, high energy poses but she didn't think they came across like that. Galton and FitPhotographer think that she needs to remember her face more and give more versatility. They also say that she has a bit of an upside-down mouth and that she needs to adapt her face so she doesn't look upset.
Amba gets her extra five minutes, but she doesn't want the judges to say that she needed them. She thinks the extra time is a blessing and a curse. [Someone's watched this show before. Well done, Amba! - Steve] She doesn't need it after all, because they love her. She knew what she was doing, she knew what to do with the dress and she was generally amazing.
Finally we have Olivia. Galton and FitPhotographer tell her to soften her face, then she looks to happy. She answers them back and sniggers. They think that she needs to be more careful she doesn't rub people up the wrong way. Olivia thinks that they didn't explain themselves properly in the beginning, and if they did, she'd have understood.
Adverts! Elimination after the break.
Break over, we arrive in the eliminaton room. The girls are all impossibly co-ordinated and well turned out. Elle is wowed by the fantastic transformation of all the girls, and it's wonderful to see them all looking so beautiful. We are reminded that it's the second elimination and Elle has her panel to help. It's international fashion designer Julien MacDonald, Grace Woodward, Creative Director and stylist who is looking fab in a red ruffley shirt and international model Charley Speed. Tonight's guest judge is completely randomly Noemie Lenoir, who has been in French Vogue, Sports Illustrated and the Marks and Spencer's ads in her pants.
We are reminded of the prizes, although the chance to participate in a Revlon campaign is decidedly different to winning the part on a Revlon campaign.
Charlotte is up first. She loves her makeover, obviously. Julien doesn't like her picture. He wants to, but he doesn't. He says that she looks like a normal Cornish girl who should be eating a pastie, and nothing else. [And Julien earns the ire of the entire Cornish people *rolls up sleeves* - Steve] Charlotte mumbles something about her choker being uncomfortable, and instead of a Tyra-like speech about "working it" or suchlike, Elle and Charley sympathise and said she did a good job looking comfortable.
Next up is "beautiful Tiffany". Elle reminds her that the last time she saw her she was in tears. Tiffany says she is still shocked by her hair. Elle says that everyone has had times when their hair colour (length surely?) hasn't worked and that Tiffany shouldn't let it take over who she is and her personality. They love her photo though, they think she looks like Edie Sedgewick. Charley thinks that the shock of her haircut comes through in the photo. Julien disagrees and thinks it's current and worthy of an editorial.
Then we have Delita, who isn't required to talk. Grace isn't convinced by her photo. She thinks that her feet should be two feet wider apart and she should be showing some crotch. Noemie tactfully explains that she would have given more "front" and opened her legs more and made her face more angry.
Alisha is told that she has a beautiful, neat head now. she admits to crying when she had it done but now she thinks she looks fierce and she really likes it. Her picture is awful, but Elle thinks it's amazing. Julien has seen it before and thinks it's not interesting but Elle loves the simplicity, her face and body look great and the jewellery looks great.
Next, Rochelle. The judges think she could have gotten more strength into the shot by facing the camera. Julien says that she needs to practice in a mirror to see how she looks in photos. I think that if that is the best shot, I really don't want to see the worst.
Nicola's photo is brilliant. She looks loads like La Roux, but in a good way, really. They all love it and say well done.
Harleen's turn. Julien says that love is in the air and he loves her. Grace loves her eyes and legs. She's not blown away but thinks she's starting to work with what she's got. Noemie loves the face.
Susan is unsurprisingly pulling her usual face in the photograph, and it's extremely awkward. It's what the American version of the show would call Broken Down Doll. Julien doesn't like the dress or the pose but likes her face. Grace doesn't understand what she's tring to put across, and that if she is going to play a role, she should play it.
Olivia doesn't fare much better. The female judges think she looks uncomfortable. Charley then goes off on a ridiculous fantasy tangent about how she basically looks like a prostitute in a dirty alley and it's really good. Grace thinks it's tense, and she doesn't believe that she's wearing an expensive necklace that makes her feel gorgeous and sexy.
Amelia's photo is terrible. She is holding a light on her face and it's casting a shadow over all of it. Elle grudgingly admits that she didn't handle herself to the best of her ability. Charley doesn't think she gave it 100%. Noemie says she would have held the light differently.
Julien thinks that Joy has gone from council to chic and that she looks really good, but doesn't like the picture. Grace thinks her hands are in the wrong place and her head is too far back. Elle tells her that she should have put her hands on her hips and looked straight into the camera.
Amba is the challenge winner, and the judges are keen to see how she used her extra five minutes. They love the picture. They think it's simple and elegant. Noemie says she's got strong eyes and when Amba looks at the camera you can see what she wants inside. Julien thinks that she looks expensive, and it's just as well, because he likes expensive things and that Beyonce should move over.
Kirsty is last. Despite her lost five minutes, Julien thinks her shot is Vogue worthy. Grace wouldn't go that far. Kirsty tells her off for ruining her moment, as does Elle. Grace says she won't say it again.
During deliberation, the judges will make the hard decision about who is going home. Charley likes that Charlotte isn't smiling in her picture but feels she could have gone further. Grace thinks that although Tiffany hates her makeover, it was the making of a style icon. Julien loves the photo of Alisha but thinks that she knows she is beautiful and that comes across. They agree that Delita's picture is horrible, but that she's a great girl, but Charley wonders if she's got the strength to go further. Rachelle's face is strong but they don't like her body. They think that Nicola looks incredible. Julien thinks that Harleen looks like Wonderwoman, and that she's gone from a nobody to a superhero hottie. They call Susan Julianne Moore. Julien says that she's nice but he wants to see her go nuts.
Grace thinks that Olivia's picture is so boring she wants to go to sleep. Charley is still enjoying his prostitute/punter fantasy and leaps to defend it. Amelia didn't know what to do with the light and Noemie thinks this may be a confidence issue. Julien says that were there is joy, there is pain, and that Joy's picture is definitely pain. Everyone loves Amba. Noemie says that it's tres chic. Elle then speaks French and says très belle. The love is extended to Kirsty. They love her look, her attitude and she sets the standard for the other girls. It's a difficult decision.
So we're back with the girls. There are 13 girls before Elle, but only 12 will still be in the running.
Nicola is called first. Her makeover made it. Followed by Amba, Kirsty then Tiffany, who needs to embrace her hairdo as her attitude will change everything. Next is Charlotte, Delita, Alisha, Susan, Joy, Harleen and finally Amelia.
This leaves Rachelle and Olivia. I couldn't pick who was worst between them, but Rachelle had the photoshoot of doom so my money is on her. The girl who isn't called has to go back to the house, pack her things and leave. The girl in the photograph is...Olivia. Rachelle is going home. Elle knows it's not the end of the road for her, she has doen well and is a beautiful girl who will definitley continue to work.
Rachelle is sad that she's been eliminated, but knew it was her weakest week. She's not surprised, but she gave it her all and knows she tried her hardest.
Next Week! Go sees end in a SHOCK ELIMINATION! Elle mentors the girls and they meet a pop idol on the photoshoot, although I'm sure she was Popstars: The rivals.
Steve will be with you for next week's recap.
Friday, 16 July 2010
Angst In Your Pants
Top 14: 12th July 2010
Hello! Helen here to ease you into your second week of Britain's Next Top Model, following on from Steven's excellent appraisal of week one. Being an avid watcher of all series, I must state that it's clear that they have upped the time and the money spent on this show, which has historically been a much poorer cousin of its other main international counterparts, and I say it's about time.
And so to business.
We start with another whispered intro from Elle, and a fierceshot of the judges from an angle clearly lifted straight from the X Factor. We are shown, as is now the rule for every programme, a recap from last week. We are told that the girls were pushed to their very limits. We get to see Alisha crying again. We are then told that this week the girls moved into the Top Model house. Olivia tells us that she is blown away by by it. Julien put the girls through a catwalk challenge, and someone is going to be a nightmare, and a lingerie shoot will prove to much for some. We then get a shot of Hannah crying on the telephone, with FashionGlasses on. Remember this, this will be important later.
I for one am confused about these "Coming up" sections, I really can't see the point of being told what we are about to see, especially if it's the biggest events from the evenings show, before we see them. [I think it's just generally the "Viewers Are Morons" school of editing that assumes we need to be reminded there's something worth sticking around for. - Steve] But I digress, back to business.
Fourteen remain to face the judges! We see all of the girls in a monochrome studio, wearing monochrome clothes and pulling their fiercest poses. Kirsty is the most notable in this section for having what can only be described as hair topiary on her head. Elle swishes into view for the titles and leaves her mouth slightly agape for the final shot.
It's not attractive.
Then it all speeds up, we have LONDON shots, a Ke$ha soundtrack and lots of shots of fashion shops, in case we have forgotten that we are in Britain and we are in TRENDY LONDON.
We begin in a loft somewhere IN LONDON. Charley Speed is waiting for us. Hannah handily tells us what we are looking at, two giant frames and a set of props. Charley congratulates our contestants for making the final fourteen, but if they thought that the Model Academy was tough, you haven't seen anything yet, because the competition is really going to KICK OFF.
We see that there are six props to chose from. These are a bunch of flowers, a handbag, a fur stole, a hat, an umbrella and a banana. Yes, an actual, real banana. Charley tells us that the girls will be split into pairs and strike their best poses inside the frames using the props they have chosen, and the poses have to change every time. Now we have a Top Model first as far as I am aware. I have always been confused as to how these girls walk off the street and are expected to know how to pose. Charley actually tells the girls that they are to use what they have seen in fashion magazines to give him their best poses to prove that they can really cut it in this industry. Joy, who is shaping up to be a bit of a car crash - knows better than the judges, lots of misplaced self belief - thinks it's daunting, and she's confused that there's no photographer.
First up are Amba and Charlotte. Amba picks the hat and Charlotte hilariously nearly chooses the banana but chickens out at the last minute. Charlotte says that she was thinking High Fashion and editorial. Big tick for Charlotte. Charley thinks they are pretty good.
Next up are Olivia and Joy. Olivia is invoking bad luck by choosing the umbrella and opening it indoors. Joy opts for the handbag. Charley wants them to think about what they are holding and use it in context. Harleen thinks that Joy didn't seem confident and that she was wobbling loads. Harleen says that Joy thinks of herself as a dark horse but she doesn't think so. Miaow.
Susan and Amelia are up next. Susan wackily picks up the banana because she is so wacky and Amelia the hat. Charley inexplicably tells them to "Arch" and get into it. Rachelle thinks Susan did well.
Next up are Tiffany and Hannah. Tiffany goes for the flowers, and Hannah is kooky so she goes for the banana. She immediately pretends to slip on it. Charlotte thinks that this is hilarious. Tiffany is less impressed and tells us in her unique brand of monotone that she thinks that Hannah doesn't give a bleep. [Seriously, what is up with Tiffany's voice? Is that what a Maltese accent actually sounds like, or is she just kind of...unusual? - Steve]
Alisha and Kirsty up next. Alisha knows that this is survival of the fittest, and she knows who the fittest is. Modesty has no place on this show. Kirsty chooses the hat. Rachelle is next to pick the banana, and poses alongside Nicole and her handbag. Charley tells them that posing is not just about your face, it's about your whole body.
Rachelle says that she is trying to be creative and use posture because she has done *klaxon* ballet for twelve years. Of course, she is told that it is to dance like and she needs to be more editorial. She admits she got carried away with the shape thing. I was left wondering at this point whether Rachelle has ever seen this programme, because if she had, she would have known that being a dancer never gets you anywhere on this show.
Delita chooses the flowers because she likes flowers and it was harder than she thought it would be she had a lot of ideas but when she got up there nothing came out. I decided to forgo punctuation there, because Delita has apparently never come across any in her life. Harleen felt the hat was natural for her and she felt that she nailed it.
The contestants are put into two groups. Rachelle says what we are all thinking - one is clearly the winning group. The winning group consists of Harleen, Nicola, Alisha, Tiffany, Kirsty, Susan and Joy. Charley has the keys to the Top Model house, and in a stroke of absolute genius, the winning group will be first in the house and they will get to decide when the losers get to come in. Cue much screaming and jumping around from the winners. Tiffany thinks that being in the winning team is fantastic. We are introduced to the Top Model house, which quite frankly looks a bit like a fancy Portacabin. Alisha reminds us that she is the bitchy one by telling the losers that they can't come in yet, SORRY! Harleen is stunned by the house, it's so much better than anything she could have imagined. There are goldfish! Mannequin heads! Beds!
Olivia is still shocked and blown away. There are goody bags for the winning girls. Joy tells us in her particularly emotionless voice that she's over the moon. Susan said that she felt like a beast creaming off all the best stuff from the goody bags. [I heart Susan. - Steve]
We cut to a shot of 7 miserable, cold-looking girls sitting outside of the house. Delita tells us that they have made them wait a full 45 minutes before letting them in. Kirsty enjoys this power, and Tiffany feels justified in this as the other girls would have probably done exactly the same. Rachelle thinks that this is not the case, and it should only take five or ten minutes to look round a house. Susan is the first in the pool and the first to feel guilty about leaving the others outside. Once they're in, Charlotte is uber-jealous about not getting her hands on the goodies. Amelia puts some cliches in the meter by saying that she doesn't like losing and that you need to put 110% into the competition.
COMING UP (this is starting to annoy me already) Julien sees if the girls have got what it takes on the catwalk.
We have an ad break. Is this all the work Martine McCutcheon can get these days? Adverts for tummy yogurt? [Presumably her spectacularly dreadful novel isn't fully paying the bills just yet? - Steve]
And we're back. Delita opens the first E-Mail. It is finally acknowledged that walking isn't that hard. They've been doing it since they were toddlers, but can they do it in style? Start limbering up girls, because tomorrow they are going to have to put their best foot forward for a catwalk challenge.
This section starts with a tribute to poor, fallen Sophie from the Model Academy - Broken Heels by Alexandra Burke.
We are in a warehouse. Kirsty realises when she sees Julien standing there that this is going to be a catwalk challenge, because the E-Mail clearly wasn't explicit enough. Julien greets the girls and tells them that if they are going to be top models, they need to master the art of the Catwalk. We are going to find out who has it and who doesn't. We are introduced to our first expert, International Casting Agent Sarah Murray. In a lovely twist, the girls will have to wear gold shiny catsuits so the judges can properly see their bodies and appraise their walks. Susan thinks her outfit is AWESOME. Julien says that there is nowhere to hide in this outfit, and he's right.
Susan is up first. Sarah wants to know what is going on with her feet. Susan gives Sarah a dirty look behind her back. Excellent. Susan thought that there was more to walking the catwalk, she thought it was more posey and vain, but she didn't realise that it was just about walking normally. I'm gratified to note at this point that Susan has a bit of a Sidegob.
Charlotte is up next. Apparently the top half of her body is too "forward". [If I were Charlotte, I would've so tried the "but it's fashion forward!" argument. - Steve] Harleen is apparently the one that is every designer's nightmare, she walks like she is coming out of a nightclub. Harleen thinks that this is hilarious. Amba is too sexy, Rachelle trots and is not taking it SERIOUS. She responds to this accusation by laughing. Olivia thinks that she is criticised too much for only looking in the wrong direction, trying to run and not being able to walk in a straight line.
Amelia fares better. She loves the catwalk and she loves Julien because they are both Welsh. Even though she makes this statement in front of a different camera and in a different room, it appears Julien loves her too, immediately saying that she's the best and everyone should copy her.
Amba is graceful and easy. Harleen thinks that she is a dark horse, one to look out for AND a triple threat (thank goodness, that cliche meter was running low.) Nicola says she never wears heels and her walk is awful, and it is. Sarah says it's interesting, but not in a good way. Hannah isn't wiggling her hips enough. Hannah says she knows she's a terrible model but it's OK because she's a good person. I really like Hannah. [Me too! - Steve] Tiffany has work to do, and leaves Sarah speechless. Delita, as ever, needs practice. Alisha has too much wobble and is described as a Curly Wurly. Alisha doesn't know what a Curly Wurly is.
Joy is awful, but it doesn't matter because she thinks that Julien doesn't know what he's talking about because there are plenty models out there who don't do the catwalk. [There are also, coincidentally, plenty of models out there who never get any bookings, Joyless. Chew on that, eh? - Steve] She is told that she walks like a monkey.
Kirsty is up next. She says that she feels good because Julien is smiling. Julien thinks that she has something the other girls don't. A believable attitude. Tiffany doesn't want a walk with an attitude anyway. Julien has personally arranged for the two best girls to walk in a real catwalk for the London Fashion Weekender at Somerset House. Julien and Sarah both agree that Kirsty and Amelia are the best. They both get to pick a friend to watch. Amelia picks Susan and Kirsty, Nicola. The show is this afternoon and they have to LEAVE RIGHT NOW.
Cue more shots of London, and a hair and makeup montage, in which the girls have their hair and makeup done. Kirsty thinks that this was AMAZING. Amelia tells us that it took two people to her hair because it was so long. Nicola has never been to a fashion show before and feels like a celebrity in the front row. Kirsty is excited but she's ready to go. Nicola thinks that she is better than all the other models. Kirsty enjoys being the centre of attention. Susan tells us that she didn't recognise Amelia because she looked really cool. Amelia felt like she was on fantasy island.
COMING UP (grr!) We find out the girls will be modelling in their underwear with male models. There's pant biting! Ear biting! and Boobs! Hannah cries again.
The girls are congregated in the lounge in a school-photo-like arrangement that they couldn't have possibly gotten into by themselves for their next E-Mail. Apparently it's a fine line that turns a Supermodel into a Glamour model, will the girls stay on the right side?
Susan gleefully shouts out that they are going to be in the nip. Joy wonders if it's going to be lingerie. She's not sure about this but if she wants to win, she'll have to do it.
We see a big country house and gardens. Olivia is alarmed that she can smell animals. We meet Victoria Holt of Fred and Ginger LONDON who tells the models they will be modelling her underwear. She tells them that it is important they know that her underwear is glamorous but sexy, seductive not sleazy and this is definitely not a Page Three shoot.
The girls will be shot in pairs in different locations around the house and the male models are brought out for perusal in their pants. Amba is impressed but Harleen is worried about her Sikh culture. She is fine with lingerie shoots but lingerie shoots with men make her apprehensive.
We have another hair and makeup montage, which lingers frankly a bit too long on the boys being greased up. We meet our photographer, Shane Woodward, who has a vague air
and accent of a pornographer.
Joy and Kirsty are up first. Joy is happy about this because she says it's easier when you don't know what's going on. Eh? Their non-sleazy scenario is a post-party threesome/hot lesbian orgy. There's lip biting and kissing between them. Joy thinks Kirsty came across well, and thinks that she has to get into it otherwise she will have a crap photo. Victoria thinks that Joy struggled and was too aware of her hair. she's not sure if Joy has a good shot. She thinks Kirsty was strong and confident. Kirsty thinks it went well and this is the kind of thing she might be asked to do in the industry.
Harleen and Nicola are up next. We have a gratuitous shot of Nicola's bum. The brief is girly but sexy. Nicola's boobs keep falling out. Harleen is then told to take off her Kimono. She is clearly distressed by this and says she feels degraded because Sikh girls don't really do things like this. She says all she could think about was what her mum and boyfriend would think about her rolling around half naked with a man.
Olivia and Alisha are up next. Alisha thinks that the male model is pleased to have them. She told us last week that she was born to model. She was also clearly born to be on this show. Their theme is Lady of the Manor and her servants. Olivia has to bite the male model's shorts. Alisha initially plays one of the servants but finds this hard as she doesn't have the limelight. The roles are swapped eventually and Alisha enjoys getting the upper hand. [I was quite glad they swapped roles halfway through, because having Alisha as the servant did seem to be a concept riddled with Unfortunate Implications. - Steve] Victoria thinks that this is the strongest shoot yet (out of three) and she loves both but especially Alisha who thinks her poses through and followed direction well.
Next up are Susan and Amba. Susan doesn't want to be too glamorous and wanted to give her picture a rougher edge. Amba is a fan of the male model, Susan is not. Victoria thinks that they didn't seem comfortable, possibly because they may have boyfriends at home. Susan says she has never felt less sexy in her life but hopes that she looks good.
Tiffany and Delita up next. Tiffany looks like something from another planet. A perfect planet. Tiffany feels that Delita struggled. She did. Delita was finding it hard to co-ordinate standing up, a wine glass and an expression. The photographers frustration is palpable. Tiffany is asked to look down the model's boxer shorts. Tiffany says she doesn't want to that and I certainly wouldn't argue with her. Victoria thinks that they did well but tactfully says that there are some issues with Delita. She loves Tiffany, however.
Rachelle and Charlotte are up next. They seem very giggly, playing about with ribbons and doing lots of grinning. Charlotte thinks that they get on well and are having fun. Rachelle offers to kiss Charlotte when it's clearly not necessary. Charlotte thinks Rachelle fancies the model, but she didn't say that. Of course you didn't, dear. Victoria thinks that they were a pleasure to shoot. She reflects what the girls said regarding the energy. She thinks Rachelle brought lots of poses and Charlotte is lots of fun, but wonders what she would be like in a different shoot and whether she could look different.
Amelia and Hannah are up next. Amelia isn't happy. She thinks that the shoot is one big orgy and that some of the shots are inappropriate but she echoes the comments of the other girls about this kind of thing being what is expected of you. They both look uncomfortable. In the VT's, Hannah is wearing a jumper that covers her up completely, with a big penguin on front, seemingly trying to cover up in retrospect. Her boobs keep falling out on the shoot. Victoria feels that Hannah is uncomfortable because she's a "bigger girl" and the garments don't fit her as well. [Which I'm so sure was a COMPLETE accident. - Steve] Hannah says she doesn't normally take things too seriously, but she took the shoot seriously. Cut to Hannah crying on the phone to her mum, saying that she can't do it, and modeling just isn't for her. It's hard to believe that this part isn't staged because she is not wearing her FashionGlasses when the conversation begins but she's wearing them when it ends. Good job, continuity people. [I think they were sitting on the top of her head at the start - she must have just pulled them down at some point. - Steve] She tells her mum she felt exposed and disgusting. It's hard not to feel uncomfortable on her behalf.
COMING UP (aside from me breaking my television) The Judging! Hannah wants to say something! What on earth could it be?
Pondering during the adverts, it becomes clear to me that there definitely hasn't been enough Grace in this episode. I'm actually looking forward to seeing her.
Hurrah! We're in the ALL NEW judging room. Elle is channeling Tyra, complete with new hair and standing as the girls enter. She introduces the judges and welcomes the models to the ALL NEW judging room. One thing to note here is that the girls all look impeccable. I get the feeling they've been styled, but I'm speculating. We have Fashion Designer Extraordinaire, Julien. Award winning Stylist and Art Director Grace Woodward who has worked with Noemie Lenoir and Gorgeous Supermodel Charley Speed who has worked with Prada, Gucci and Many more. Guest Judge this week is The Gorgeous Fashion Casting Director Sarah Murray.
We need to know about the Prizes. A Models One contract, a Revlon campaign and a cover and six page spread of company magazine.
First up are Kirsty and Joy. Kirsty is congratulated for winning the catwalk challenge. She's wearing an odd bandana. She says that the models backstage were friendly and gave good advice. Who said the modelling world was bitchy? Elle loves Kirsty's jawline and the connection to the camera. She also thinks the bra looks fabulous. Grace says she believes Joy and is proud of her. [I hated Joy's picture. She looked like she was in a completely different shoot to everyone else, and not in a good way. - Steve]
Then it's Hannah and Amelia. Hannah says she has been having a kerfuffle, in that she finds being sexy and poised an uphill battle. Elle can empathise with this as she used to feel taller and bigger than everyone else, but learned to work with it. She advises Hannah to embrace her body and not to be embarrased. Charley thinks Hannah's picture is smouldering, serious and sexy. He is surprised. Amelia is asked how she's feeling. Of course she's feeling great because she won the catwalk challenge, which was one of the best days of her life. Elle thinks Amelia's picture is amazing. I think she looks a bit mad. Grace, however, loves her faraway look. Julien thinks that they have scrubbed up well from ordinary girls to beautiful creatures to be desired. Charming.
Olivia and Alisha are next. Julien thinks that Olivia is beautiful but when she's done up too much she looks forced. He finds her natural look more intruiging. Elle asks how it was having her face so close to the male model's boxers. Olivia didn't like biting them. Charley asks what the issues were on the shoot, grinning in a very creepy way. Elle asks him what problem did he think that there would be with a girl in her underwear having her head close to a man's boxers. Charlie claims that it has never happened to him and the whole thing is exceedingly uncomfortable. Alisha is shocked with her picture. Julien likes it. Grace doesn't. She thinks it's awkward.
Amba and Susan are up next. Julien says that Amba could turn a gay man straight. Susan's picture is awful but they all seem to love it. Sarah thinks that Susan could be naughty... [Amba's picture was terrible too. She looked like a blow-up doll with a puncture. - Steve]
Tiffany and Delita are up next. Tiffany's shot is sexy and hot. When it comes to Delita, Elle clearly doesn't want to say anything to negative in the first week so she opts to describe the photo. Julien is disapointed because he wanted to see a great picture from Delita. Charley thinks that something is lacking in the eyes. Pot, kettle, etc.
Harleen and Nicola are up next. Harleen is clearly unhappy. Harleen explains that she wasn't keen on the shoot. She knows she said that she was happy to do lingerie shoots but she had a problem straddling the male model. Harleen begins to cry. Elle can imagine that it would be a stretch for her. At this point I'm standing up and shouting at the TV about how Tyra wouldn't stand for this. [I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU, HOW DARE YOU?!?! - Steve] Harleen says she doesn't want to dissapoint her mum. Elle thinks she looks amazing. Grace, however, doesn't care about the whining. She says it doesn't matter how you were brought up, you have to get on with it. That's what I'm talking about. Nicola's shot is the favourite. Elle says she's never seen Nicola like this, which is easy to believe because she's she's seen her twice. Charley thinks it's interesting because she's not the most flamboyant of the girls.
Finally, we have Charlotte and Rachelle. Grace was concerned that Charlotte is too Smiley Girl but likes the shot. Rachelle has missed the camera. If she had found it, the shot would have been killer. Julien would buy the pants if he was a girl. He thinks they have sex appeal and the photo is fun.
It's time for the judges to deliberate. One girl has to go.
Elle thinks that Joy is beautiful. Sarah thinks she needs more confidence. Julien thinks Kirsty has transferred from ugly duckling into swan. The judges feel that Hannah needs to want to be there and embrace her potential. Charley wonders if they have the time to waste on her. Sarah feels that Amelia could easily be stereotyped as a whimsical redhead and needs to be more modern. Grace isn't convinced by Olivia. Julien thinks Alisha is a black beauty but she can't walk. Sarah believes she is most determined out of all the girls to get it right. Amba surprised Charley but he thinks she needs more time. The judges think that Susan is very Julianne Moore. Elle thinks she has the personality of an actress. Tiffany is a Maltese sex bomb and is one for the men. Charley is surprised by Delita's picture but isn't sure she has what it takes. Elle sees something in Harleen an dthinks her family wouldn't be disapointed int he shot. Nicola is mousy in real life but gorgeous in the picture. Grace thinks it's "Whatever". Charley likes Charlotte's body and Rachelle is trying to compare herself to Naomi, and apparently there's not the space for another one.
Back to the judging room. Elle has 14 beautiful girls in front of her, but only 13 photos in her hand representing the girls that will continue.
Joy is called first, followed by Amelia, Kirsty, Harleen, Charlotte, Amba, Susan, Alisha, Olivia, Tiffany, Nicola and finally Rachelle. This leaves Hannah and Delita up for the chop.
But Hannah wants to say something. Whatever could it be? She'd rather not know who's photo Elle is holding, but if it's her, she'd rather it was Delita. She's really thought about it and really isn't her. Elle actually asks if she wants to step down. She hugs Hannah and wishes her luck. I'm baffled. This isn't what I'm used to. I'm waiting for the lecture about taking a place from another girl and it just doesn't come. [I know, I just kept picturing how Tyra would've reacted. Probably something along the lines of "HRRNK! WRONG ANSWER!" and dropping Hannah into a tank full of sharks. - Steve] Hannah says Delita wants it more and doesn't want to take her place. She was worried she was losing sight of who she was. The experience has taught her that what she really wants to do with her life. She wants to teach English.
So Hannah wheels her suitcase out of the house and Delita is thrown a lifeline. I'd like to tell you what Delita had to say about this but I watched it a few times and I still don't know. [Apparently Hannah gave a post-show interview and revealed that she was told she would've been given a picture if she hadn't eliminated herself, just in case anyone's wondering. - Steve]
Coming up next week. Miquita Oliver leads a style challenge (really) and MAKEOVERS! It is also totally spoiled who gets all their hair cut off, but I'll save it for next week. Join us then!
Hello! Helen here to ease you into your second week of Britain's Next Top Model, following on from Steven's excellent appraisal of week one. Being an avid watcher of all series, I must state that it's clear that they have upped the time and the money spent on this show, which has historically been a much poorer cousin of its other main international counterparts, and I say it's about time.
And so to business.
We start with another whispered intro from Elle, and a fierceshot of the judges from an angle clearly lifted straight from the X Factor. We are shown, as is now the rule for every programme, a recap from last week. We are told that the girls were pushed to their very limits. We get to see Alisha crying again. We are then told that this week the girls moved into the Top Model house. Olivia tells us that she is blown away by by it. Julien put the girls through a catwalk challenge, and someone is going to be a nightmare, and a lingerie shoot will prove to much for some. We then get a shot of Hannah crying on the telephone, with FashionGlasses on. Remember this, this will be important later.
I for one am confused about these "Coming up" sections, I really can't see the point of being told what we are about to see, especially if it's the biggest events from the evenings show, before we see them. [I think it's just generally the "Viewers Are Morons" school of editing that assumes we need to be reminded there's something worth sticking around for. - Steve] But I digress, back to business.
Fourteen remain to face the judges! We see all of the girls in a monochrome studio, wearing monochrome clothes and pulling their fiercest poses. Kirsty is the most notable in this section for having what can only be described as hair topiary on her head. Elle swishes into view for the titles and leaves her mouth slightly agape for the final shot.
It's not attractive.
Then it all speeds up, we have LONDON shots, a Ke$ha soundtrack and lots of shots of fashion shops, in case we have forgotten that we are in Britain and we are in TRENDY LONDON.
We begin in a loft somewhere IN LONDON. Charley Speed is waiting for us. Hannah handily tells us what we are looking at, two giant frames and a set of props. Charley congratulates our contestants for making the final fourteen, but if they thought that the Model Academy was tough, you haven't seen anything yet, because the competition is really going to KICK OFF.
We see that there are six props to chose from. These are a bunch of flowers, a handbag, a fur stole, a hat, an umbrella and a banana. Yes, an actual, real banana. Charley tells us that the girls will be split into pairs and strike their best poses inside the frames using the props they have chosen, and the poses have to change every time. Now we have a Top Model first as far as I am aware. I have always been confused as to how these girls walk off the street and are expected to know how to pose. Charley actually tells the girls that they are to use what they have seen in fashion magazines to give him their best poses to prove that they can really cut it in this industry. Joy, who is shaping up to be a bit of a car crash - knows better than the judges, lots of misplaced self belief - thinks it's daunting, and she's confused that there's no photographer.
First up are Amba and Charlotte. Amba picks the hat and Charlotte hilariously nearly chooses the banana but chickens out at the last minute. Charlotte says that she was thinking High Fashion and editorial. Big tick for Charlotte. Charley thinks they are pretty good.
Next up are Olivia and Joy. Olivia is invoking bad luck by choosing the umbrella and opening it indoors. Joy opts for the handbag. Charley wants them to think about what they are holding and use it in context. Harleen thinks that Joy didn't seem confident and that she was wobbling loads. Harleen says that Joy thinks of herself as a dark horse but she doesn't think so. Miaow.
Susan and Amelia are up next. Susan wackily picks up the banana because she is so wacky and Amelia the hat. Charley inexplicably tells them to "Arch" and get into it. Rachelle thinks Susan did well.
Next up are Tiffany and Hannah. Tiffany goes for the flowers, and Hannah is kooky so she goes for the banana. She immediately pretends to slip on it. Charlotte thinks that this is hilarious. Tiffany is less impressed and tells us in her unique brand of monotone that she thinks that Hannah doesn't give a bleep. [Seriously, what is up with Tiffany's voice? Is that what a Maltese accent actually sounds like, or is she just kind of...unusual? - Steve]
Alisha and Kirsty up next. Alisha knows that this is survival of the fittest, and she knows who the fittest is. Modesty has no place on this show. Kirsty chooses the hat. Rachelle is next to pick the banana, and poses alongside Nicole and her handbag. Charley tells them that posing is not just about your face, it's about your whole body.
Rachelle says that she is trying to be creative and use posture because she has done *klaxon* ballet for twelve years. Of course, she is told that it is to dance like and she needs to be more editorial. She admits she got carried away with the shape thing. I was left wondering at this point whether Rachelle has ever seen this programme, because if she had, she would have known that being a dancer never gets you anywhere on this show.
Delita chooses the flowers because she likes flowers and it was harder than she thought it would be she had a lot of ideas but when she got up there nothing came out. I decided to forgo punctuation there, because Delita has apparently never come across any in her life. Harleen felt the hat was natural for her and she felt that she nailed it.
The contestants are put into two groups. Rachelle says what we are all thinking - one is clearly the winning group. The winning group consists of Harleen, Nicola, Alisha, Tiffany, Kirsty, Susan and Joy. Charley has the keys to the Top Model house, and in a stroke of absolute genius, the winning group will be first in the house and they will get to decide when the losers get to come in. Cue much screaming and jumping around from the winners. Tiffany thinks that being in the winning team is fantastic. We are introduced to the Top Model house, which quite frankly looks a bit like a fancy Portacabin. Alisha reminds us that she is the bitchy one by telling the losers that they can't come in yet, SORRY! Harleen is stunned by the house, it's so much better than anything she could have imagined. There are goldfish! Mannequin heads! Beds!
Olivia is still shocked and blown away. There are goody bags for the winning girls. Joy tells us in her particularly emotionless voice that she's over the moon. Susan said that she felt like a beast creaming off all the best stuff from the goody bags. [I heart Susan. - Steve]
We cut to a shot of 7 miserable, cold-looking girls sitting outside of the house. Delita tells us that they have made them wait a full 45 minutes before letting them in. Kirsty enjoys this power, and Tiffany feels justified in this as the other girls would have probably done exactly the same. Rachelle thinks that this is not the case, and it should only take five or ten minutes to look round a house. Susan is the first in the pool and the first to feel guilty about leaving the others outside. Once they're in, Charlotte is uber-jealous about not getting her hands on the goodies. Amelia puts some cliches in the meter by saying that she doesn't like losing and that you need to put 110% into the competition.
COMING UP (this is starting to annoy me already) Julien sees if the girls have got what it takes on the catwalk.
We have an ad break. Is this all the work Martine McCutcheon can get these days? Adverts for tummy yogurt? [Presumably her spectacularly dreadful novel isn't fully paying the bills just yet? - Steve]
And we're back. Delita opens the first E-Mail. It is finally acknowledged that walking isn't that hard. They've been doing it since they were toddlers, but can they do it in style? Start limbering up girls, because tomorrow they are going to have to put their best foot forward for a catwalk challenge.
This section starts with a tribute to poor, fallen Sophie from the Model Academy - Broken Heels by Alexandra Burke.
We are in a warehouse. Kirsty realises when she sees Julien standing there that this is going to be a catwalk challenge, because the E-Mail clearly wasn't explicit enough. Julien greets the girls and tells them that if they are going to be top models, they need to master the art of the Catwalk. We are going to find out who has it and who doesn't. We are introduced to our first expert, International Casting Agent Sarah Murray. In a lovely twist, the girls will have to wear gold shiny catsuits so the judges can properly see their bodies and appraise their walks. Susan thinks her outfit is AWESOME. Julien says that there is nowhere to hide in this outfit, and he's right.
Susan is up first. Sarah wants to know what is going on with her feet. Susan gives Sarah a dirty look behind her back. Excellent. Susan thought that there was more to walking the catwalk, she thought it was more posey and vain, but she didn't realise that it was just about walking normally. I'm gratified to note at this point that Susan has a bit of a Sidegob.
Charlotte is up next. Apparently the top half of her body is too "forward". [If I were Charlotte, I would've so tried the "but it's fashion forward!" argument. - Steve] Harleen is apparently the one that is every designer's nightmare, she walks like she is coming out of a nightclub. Harleen thinks that this is hilarious. Amba is too sexy, Rachelle trots and is not taking it SERIOUS. She responds to this accusation by laughing. Olivia thinks that she is criticised too much for only looking in the wrong direction, trying to run and not being able to walk in a straight line.
Amelia fares better. She loves the catwalk and she loves Julien because they are both Welsh. Even though she makes this statement in front of a different camera and in a different room, it appears Julien loves her too, immediately saying that she's the best and everyone should copy her.
Amba is graceful and easy. Harleen thinks that she is a dark horse, one to look out for AND a triple threat (thank goodness, that cliche meter was running low.) Nicola says she never wears heels and her walk is awful, and it is. Sarah says it's interesting, but not in a good way. Hannah isn't wiggling her hips enough. Hannah says she knows she's a terrible model but it's OK because she's a good person. I really like Hannah. [Me too! - Steve] Tiffany has work to do, and leaves Sarah speechless. Delita, as ever, needs practice. Alisha has too much wobble and is described as a Curly Wurly. Alisha doesn't know what a Curly Wurly is.
Joy is awful, but it doesn't matter because she thinks that Julien doesn't know what he's talking about because there are plenty models out there who don't do the catwalk. [There are also, coincidentally, plenty of models out there who never get any bookings, Joyless. Chew on that, eh? - Steve] She is told that she walks like a monkey.
Kirsty is up next. She says that she feels good because Julien is smiling. Julien thinks that she has something the other girls don't. A believable attitude. Tiffany doesn't want a walk with an attitude anyway. Julien has personally arranged for the two best girls to walk in a real catwalk for the London Fashion Weekender at Somerset House. Julien and Sarah both agree that Kirsty and Amelia are the best. They both get to pick a friend to watch. Amelia picks Susan and Kirsty, Nicola. The show is this afternoon and they have to LEAVE RIGHT NOW.
Cue more shots of London, and a hair and makeup montage, in which the girls have their hair and makeup done. Kirsty thinks that this was AMAZING. Amelia tells us that it took two people to her hair because it was so long. Nicola has never been to a fashion show before and feels like a celebrity in the front row. Kirsty is excited but she's ready to go. Nicola thinks that she is better than all the other models. Kirsty enjoys being the centre of attention. Susan tells us that she didn't recognise Amelia because she looked really cool. Amelia felt like she was on fantasy island.
COMING UP (grr!) We find out the girls will be modelling in their underwear with male models. There's pant biting! Ear biting! and Boobs! Hannah cries again.
The girls are congregated in the lounge in a school-photo-like arrangement that they couldn't have possibly gotten into by themselves for their next E-Mail. Apparently it's a fine line that turns a Supermodel into a Glamour model, will the girls stay on the right side?
Susan gleefully shouts out that they are going to be in the nip. Joy wonders if it's going to be lingerie. She's not sure about this but if she wants to win, she'll have to do it.
We see a big country house and gardens. Olivia is alarmed that she can smell animals. We meet Victoria Holt of Fred and Ginger LONDON who tells the models they will be modelling her underwear. She tells them that it is important they know that her underwear is glamorous but sexy, seductive not sleazy and this is definitely not a Page Three shoot.
The girls will be shot in pairs in different locations around the house and the male models are brought out for perusal in their pants. Amba is impressed but Harleen is worried about her Sikh culture. She is fine with lingerie shoots but lingerie shoots with men make her apprehensive.
We have another hair and makeup montage, which lingers frankly a bit too long on the boys being greased up. We meet our photographer, Shane Woodward, who has a vague air
and accent of a pornographer.
Joy and Kirsty are up first. Joy is happy about this because she says it's easier when you don't know what's going on. Eh? Their non-sleazy scenario is a post-party threesome/hot lesbian orgy. There's lip biting and kissing between them. Joy thinks Kirsty came across well, and thinks that she has to get into it otherwise she will have a crap photo. Victoria thinks that Joy struggled and was too aware of her hair. she's not sure if Joy has a good shot. She thinks Kirsty was strong and confident. Kirsty thinks it went well and this is the kind of thing she might be asked to do in the industry.
Harleen and Nicola are up next. We have a gratuitous shot of Nicola's bum. The brief is girly but sexy. Nicola's boobs keep falling out. Harleen is then told to take off her Kimono. She is clearly distressed by this and says she feels degraded because Sikh girls don't really do things like this. She says all she could think about was what her mum and boyfriend would think about her rolling around half naked with a man.
Olivia and Alisha are up next. Alisha thinks that the male model is pleased to have them. She told us last week that she was born to model. She was also clearly born to be on this show. Their theme is Lady of the Manor and her servants. Olivia has to bite the male model's shorts. Alisha initially plays one of the servants but finds this hard as she doesn't have the limelight. The roles are swapped eventually and Alisha enjoys getting the upper hand. [I was quite glad they swapped roles halfway through, because having Alisha as the servant did seem to be a concept riddled with Unfortunate Implications. - Steve] Victoria thinks that this is the strongest shoot yet (out of three) and she loves both but especially Alisha who thinks her poses through and followed direction well.
Next up are Susan and Amba. Susan doesn't want to be too glamorous and wanted to give her picture a rougher edge. Amba is a fan of the male model, Susan is not. Victoria thinks that they didn't seem comfortable, possibly because they may have boyfriends at home. Susan says she has never felt less sexy in her life but hopes that she looks good.
Tiffany and Delita up next. Tiffany looks like something from another planet. A perfect planet. Tiffany feels that Delita struggled. She did. Delita was finding it hard to co-ordinate standing up, a wine glass and an expression. The photographers frustration is palpable. Tiffany is asked to look down the model's boxer shorts. Tiffany says she doesn't want to that and I certainly wouldn't argue with her. Victoria thinks that they did well but tactfully says that there are some issues with Delita. She loves Tiffany, however.
Rachelle and Charlotte are up next. They seem very giggly, playing about with ribbons and doing lots of grinning. Charlotte thinks that they get on well and are having fun. Rachelle offers to kiss Charlotte when it's clearly not necessary. Charlotte thinks Rachelle fancies the model, but she didn't say that. Of course you didn't, dear. Victoria thinks that they were a pleasure to shoot. She reflects what the girls said regarding the energy. She thinks Rachelle brought lots of poses and Charlotte is lots of fun, but wonders what she would be like in a different shoot and whether she could look different.
Amelia and Hannah are up next. Amelia isn't happy. She thinks that the shoot is one big orgy and that some of the shots are inappropriate but she echoes the comments of the other girls about this kind of thing being what is expected of you. They both look uncomfortable. In the VT's, Hannah is wearing a jumper that covers her up completely, with a big penguin on front, seemingly trying to cover up in retrospect. Her boobs keep falling out on the shoot. Victoria feels that Hannah is uncomfortable because she's a "bigger girl" and the garments don't fit her as well. [Which I'm so sure was a COMPLETE accident. - Steve] Hannah says she doesn't normally take things too seriously, but she took the shoot seriously. Cut to Hannah crying on the phone to her mum, saying that she can't do it, and modeling just isn't for her. It's hard to believe that this part isn't staged because she is not wearing her FashionGlasses when the conversation begins but she's wearing them when it ends. Good job, continuity people. [I think they were sitting on the top of her head at the start - she must have just pulled them down at some point. - Steve] She tells her mum she felt exposed and disgusting. It's hard not to feel uncomfortable on her behalf.
COMING UP (aside from me breaking my television) The Judging! Hannah wants to say something! What on earth could it be?
Pondering during the adverts, it becomes clear to me that there definitely hasn't been enough Grace in this episode. I'm actually looking forward to seeing her.
Hurrah! We're in the ALL NEW judging room. Elle is channeling Tyra, complete with new hair and standing as the girls enter. She introduces the judges and welcomes the models to the ALL NEW judging room. One thing to note here is that the girls all look impeccable. I get the feeling they've been styled, but I'm speculating. We have Fashion Designer Extraordinaire, Julien. Award winning Stylist and Art Director Grace Woodward who has worked with Noemie Lenoir and Gorgeous Supermodel Charley Speed who has worked with Prada, Gucci and Many more. Guest Judge this week is The Gorgeous Fashion Casting Director Sarah Murray.
We need to know about the Prizes. A Models One contract, a Revlon campaign and a cover and six page spread of company magazine.
First up are Kirsty and Joy. Kirsty is congratulated for winning the catwalk challenge. She's wearing an odd bandana. She says that the models backstage were friendly and gave good advice. Who said the modelling world was bitchy? Elle loves Kirsty's jawline and the connection to the camera. She also thinks the bra looks fabulous. Grace says she believes Joy and is proud of her. [I hated Joy's picture. She looked like she was in a completely different shoot to everyone else, and not in a good way. - Steve]
Then it's Hannah and Amelia. Hannah says she has been having a kerfuffle, in that she finds being sexy and poised an uphill battle. Elle can empathise with this as she used to feel taller and bigger than everyone else, but learned to work with it. She advises Hannah to embrace her body and not to be embarrased. Charley thinks Hannah's picture is smouldering, serious and sexy. He is surprised. Amelia is asked how she's feeling. Of course she's feeling great because she won the catwalk challenge, which was one of the best days of her life. Elle thinks Amelia's picture is amazing. I think she looks a bit mad. Grace, however, loves her faraway look. Julien thinks that they have scrubbed up well from ordinary girls to beautiful creatures to be desired. Charming.
Olivia and Alisha are next. Julien thinks that Olivia is beautiful but when she's done up too much she looks forced. He finds her natural look more intruiging. Elle asks how it was having her face so close to the male model's boxers. Olivia didn't like biting them. Charley asks what the issues were on the shoot, grinning in a very creepy way. Elle asks him what problem did he think that there would be with a girl in her underwear having her head close to a man's boxers. Charlie claims that it has never happened to him and the whole thing is exceedingly uncomfortable. Alisha is shocked with her picture. Julien likes it. Grace doesn't. She thinks it's awkward.
Amba and Susan are up next. Julien says that Amba could turn a gay man straight. Susan's picture is awful but they all seem to love it. Sarah thinks that Susan could be naughty... [Amba's picture was terrible too. She looked like a blow-up doll with a puncture. - Steve]
Tiffany and Delita are up next. Tiffany's shot is sexy and hot. When it comes to Delita, Elle clearly doesn't want to say anything to negative in the first week so she opts to describe the photo. Julien is disapointed because he wanted to see a great picture from Delita. Charley thinks that something is lacking in the eyes. Pot, kettle, etc.
Harleen and Nicola are up next. Harleen is clearly unhappy. Harleen explains that she wasn't keen on the shoot. She knows she said that she was happy to do lingerie shoots but she had a problem straddling the male model. Harleen begins to cry. Elle can imagine that it would be a stretch for her. At this point I'm standing up and shouting at the TV about how Tyra wouldn't stand for this. [I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU, HOW DARE YOU?!?! - Steve] Harleen says she doesn't want to dissapoint her mum. Elle thinks she looks amazing. Grace, however, doesn't care about the whining. She says it doesn't matter how you were brought up, you have to get on with it. That's what I'm talking about. Nicola's shot is the favourite. Elle says she's never seen Nicola like this, which is easy to believe because she's she's seen her twice. Charley thinks it's interesting because she's not the most flamboyant of the girls.
Finally, we have Charlotte and Rachelle. Grace was concerned that Charlotte is too Smiley Girl but likes the shot. Rachelle has missed the camera. If she had found it, the shot would have been killer. Julien would buy the pants if he was a girl. He thinks they have sex appeal and the photo is fun.
It's time for the judges to deliberate. One girl has to go.
Elle thinks that Joy is beautiful. Sarah thinks she needs more confidence. Julien thinks Kirsty has transferred from ugly duckling into swan. The judges feel that Hannah needs to want to be there and embrace her potential. Charley wonders if they have the time to waste on her. Sarah feels that Amelia could easily be stereotyped as a whimsical redhead and needs to be more modern. Grace isn't convinced by Olivia. Julien thinks Alisha is a black beauty but she can't walk. Sarah believes she is most determined out of all the girls to get it right. Amba surprised Charley but he thinks she needs more time. The judges think that Susan is very Julianne Moore. Elle thinks she has the personality of an actress. Tiffany is a Maltese sex bomb and is one for the men. Charley is surprised by Delita's picture but isn't sure she has what it takes. Elle sees something in Harleen an dthinks her family wouldn't be disapointed int he shot. Nicola is mousy in real life but gorgeous in the picture. Grace thinks it's "Whatever". Charley likes Charlotte's body and Rachelle is trying to compare herself to Naomi, and apparently there's not the space for another one.
Back to the judging room. Elle has 14 beautiful girls in front of her, but only 13 photos in her hand representing the girls that will continue.
Joy is called first, followed by Amelia, Kirsty, Harleen, Charlotte, Amba, Susan, Alisha, Olivia, Tiffany, Nicola and finally Rachelle. This leaves Hannah and Delita up for the chop.
But Hannah wants to say something. Whatever could it be? She'd rather not know who's photo Elle is holding, but if it's her, she'd rather it was Delita. She's really thought about it and really isn't her. Elle actually asks if she wants to step down. She hugs Hannah and wishes her luck. I'm baffled. This isn't what I'm used to. I'm waiting for the lecture about taking a place from another girl and it just doesn't come. [I know, I just kept picturing how Tyra would've reacted. Probably something along the lines of "HRRNK! WRONG ANSWER!" and dropping Hannah into a tank full of sharks. - Steve] Hannah says Delita wants it more and doesn't want to take her place. She was worried she was losing sight of who she was. The experience has taught her that what she really wants to do with her life. She wants to teach English.
So Hannah wheels her suitcase out of the house and Delita is thrown a lifeline. I'd like to tell you what Delita had to say about this but I watched it a few times and I still don't know. [Apparently Hannah gave a post-show interview and revealed that she was told she would've been given a picture if she hadn't eliminated herself, just in case anyone's wondering. - Steve]
Coming up next week. Miquita Oliver leads a style challenge (really) and MAKEOVERS! It is also totally spoiled who gets all their hair cut off, but I'll save it for next week. Join us then!
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