Sunday, 25 July 2010

Doing the 'Do's

Top 13 - 19th July 2010

Hello, and welcome to the week three recap of Britain's Next Top Model. Apologies for the delay. I've been crying about my haircut...Not really, I'm not completely daft. But this is the best episode of any Top Model Series, the Makeover episode. Place your bets for the first one to cry.

The episode begins, as always, with a recap. Last week the contestants were put through their posing paces, moved into the model house (which ironically looks like it is a model of a proper house) and Julien LETS RIP in the catwalk challenge. We see Hannah crying again and relive her ELIMINATION SHOCK.

This week we are promised that Miquita Oliver will set a style challenge (yes, really) and that there will be tears at makeovers and we don't have to wait long to find out who's getting the boy's haircut. It's Tiffany! And she cries. Lots.

Titles, and it occurs to me that Susan is going to be one of those contestants with a posing face. I've noticed that her face in the titles is the same one she's pulled in all her photographs so far. We'll have to wait and see if she pulls the same one tonight.

Delita kicks us off proper by giving her side of the SHOCK DEPARTURE storyline. She said that the elimination was really horrible. We see Hannah depart for the second time tonight. Delita thinks that what Hannah did was a really nice thing to do and she really appreciates it. Tiffany thinks it's better Hannah has gone because everyone in the competition knows what they want now and everyone can compete seriously. Nice.

The girls get the first E-Mail of the episode. "A model needs to rock any look, but can they pull off their Granny's wardrobe. Tomorrow is your chance to see if you can pull of any style". I briefly ponder if this means any as in lots of different ones, or any as in any at all. I'm going for the former.

Harleen helpfully describes what we can see for ourselves. They are in some warehousey place. Olivia is excited, and she doesn't have a clue what's going to happen.

The girls are met by Miquita Oliver! This is another cue for lots of screaming. Nicola is excited because she's a Style Icon. Harleen is excited because she loves her, but Harleen says she loves everything. Miquita is here to set them a challenge, which is not about not punching her, it's about vintage clothes. Miquita loves vintage clothes, but acknowledges that it's a look that can go seriously wrong. She handily offers us a visual description of this via her outfit. Miquita has brought them to the Rocket warehouse to see if they can do vintage without looking like their grandma. The warehouse is full of clothes and they have five minutes to create one stylish outfit. They will be judged on what hey are wearing when the time runs out.

The girls immediately run off, screaming of course, and rifle through rails of garish stuff in sequins. Charlotte panicked slightly. She got to the clothes rail and was unsure where to start.

Joy found the challenge hard because there was, like, so many clothes and she had to, like, put them together. She's no good at shopping anyway, it takes her, like, two hours to find an outfit she likes so she finds this, like, quite difficult. Like. [Joy: aptly named as ever. - Steve]

Miquita spends the whole time with a stopwatch, laughing behind her hand. Poor dim Alisha didn't know what vintage was, so she just told herself to pick something nice. Something nice was some "Batty Rider" shorts, black and gold shoes and a black top. Alisha thinks she looks nice but tell us the other girls told her she looks like she is going to Carnival.

Tiffany tells us she had to find all the jewelry and the shoes and everything. Everyone was taking their clothes off and putting things on. Yes, Tiffany, that's the challenge. Tiffany got a bit panicky because five minutes isn't enough.

Miquita does some more laughing behind her hand. [Disingenuous cow. - Steve]

The result is varied. Kirsty is wearing a belted white shirt with some chains over her shoulder. Nicola has come as one of Bananarama. Tiffany is wearing a red and black fringed Go-Go dress. Alisha does indeed look like she is going to Carnival. Rachelle is wearing denim, shades and a polkadot scarf. Amelia has come as a French stereotype, Susan is wearing the national dress of an unidentified country. Joy appears to be six and dressed in her Mum's best clothes and Charlotte is in a red shirt and leggings. Only Harleen and Amba don't look like they dressed in the dark.

Honorary mention goes to Olivia who is wearing high waisted jeans, a tartan shirt and a leopard print shirt. Amelia rightly says she looks like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Another goes to Delita, who says she is going for a young Michael Jackson look (I thinks she means 80's, not the Jackson Five years, bless) but ends up with the old Su Pollard. This 'look' comprises of a huge sequined jacket with a clashing scarf. Miquita openly laughs in her face. Delita says that she would wear the jacket. Miquita can't help herself and splutters out a "really?!". Rachelle is worried by Delita's outfit.

However, the winner is Amba. She is wearing a hat and a granny blouse with some shorts and looks a bit like Mary Poppins. She is Well Shocked, surprised and really happy. Amba is told that she will get five extra minutes of shooting time on this week's photoshoot. Miquita tells her to use it wiseley. Thanks, model Miquita. The catch, Miquita gleefully tells her, is that those five minutes will be taken from another contestant and she has to chose now in front of everyone. Amba chooses Kirsty, as she has done so well in the previous weeks and is the most competition. Kirsty is flattered by this as she didn't see herself as competition. Miquita tells everyone well done.

Coming up! Soft focus Elle announces the makeovers! Elle tells a crying Tiffany that her hair is going to be REALLY SHORT, like a Pixie!

After the break it's E-Mail time again. Cue lots of whooping. Kirsty reads it to us. "I think it's time you saw a Supermodel at work. Be ready at 11am". The girls arrive at a studio and Elle is getting her photo taken whilst swishing a white dress around. The girls come in and noisily interrupt before regarding her with reverence.

Elle tells the contestants that she is shooting for Marie Claire and it's been brilliant for her today, but what she really wants to talk about is style. She's been going through magazines looking for pictures and images that relate to each and every one of the girls. They're all going to celebrity hairdresser Daniel Galvin, who has done the hair of Madonna, Catherine Zeta Jones and Twiggy, for their MAKEOVERS! Elle is keeping schtum, but she will tell them that one of them is going blonde, one is getting extra hair and one is going short.

Amba is worried, her worst nightmare is getting her hair shaved off. I could think of worse things, but I can appreciate that this is at the forefront of their minds. Tiffany has the feeling that she's going to get the short hair. she just knows it. Amelia thinks that she's in for a bob or a slap head.

All is revealed as the girls sit in their chairs. Harleen is getting more hair, after she said in the first week that her short hair defines her. Charlotte is getting Glamorous Supermodel hair, which she calls the Mini Elle. Kirsty will be going blonde. Joy will be losing a lot of length and she holds up her ponytail to, like, prove it. Amba is getting her natural colour lightened and is told to think Leona Lewis.

Nicola will be going dark, which she is told will make her hair look more glamorous, thicker and give it more depth. Susan will be going redder, and is told to think Julianne Moore in A Single Man. She gives out the least happy "yay" ever. Delita is getting a sophisticated and beautiful do, but doesn't know what a sophisticated length is. [I think we're going to end up naming a lot of things that Delete Her doesn't know by the time of her eventual elimination. - Steve]

Rachelle is getting a Naomi, despite being told last week that trying to be Naomi was her downfall. She's really happy, of course. They like Amelia's hair, but she's getting more gloss.

Now we come to poor Tiffany. Tiffany doesn't want short hair. She doesn't like short hair. She's had it before and it doesn't suit her. She really hopes it's not her that's getting short hair. Oh dear... She's crying before the hairdresser even touches her. Charlotte feels bad because she's so upset but thinks it will look good.

At this very moment Elle herself comes swanning down the stairs to Fergie's "Glamorous". Rachelle can't believe it. Susan says she's a goddess. She appraises the girls. She loves x three Harleen's new do. Charlotte gleefully tells her she's getting a "Baby Elle" hairdo. Elle tells her that it's more a Baby Giselle. I get the feeling that's not what Charlotte wants to hear because Charlotte LOVES her.

At this point Tiffany is still crying and is red faced. Elle is sympathetic. I get the feeling that Tyra Banks is sitting in America at that very moment with the feeling that something, somewhere is VERY WRONG. Elle tells her that she's the only girl with the jawline to carry off that kind of haircut and that she should take it as a compliment. Tiffany says she knows this, and is sorry. Elle helpfully regales her with a tale about one time when she got her hair cut and it was orange and buzzed up the back, and she looked like a boy but she never worked so much in her life. Tiffany starts to look better and perks up a bit enough to ask how short. Elle then gleefully tells her "really short, like a pixie!" and she immediately dissolves into tears again. [Hee. - Steve] They hug.

Alisha says she feels a bit sad for Tiffany, but she needs to dry her eyes, because in the fashion industry your hair has to change so you can stay in fashion. Alisha is worried that she's last. She should be. She is told she's losing the weave and getting her hair cut short. The hairdresser asks if that's OK. It's clearly not. Alisha isn't happy at all and cries throughout the whole thing. That's swift justice for you.

There is lots of hand holding across the sinks and another shot of Tiffany crying. Harleen says they'll just have to get used to it. From behind her copious weave. Tiffany says the only reason she let them cut her hair is because Elle wanted her to have it done. At least I think that's what she said. That girl doesn't half mumble.

Alisha's never had short hair before, and feels like she has nothing to hide behind and now all she has is her face. We return to Tiffany who is still crying. Kirsty laughs in her face as she is getting her hair cut.

Amba tells us that she had an amazing day, first Elle turns up at the salon, then Grace! Grace arrives and shouts "Girls in the House!!" I proper love her now. Kirsty echos me by calling her fiiiaaarce, and saying she's her kind of woman. Grace doesn't know who to go to first. She loves Susan's hair, calling her a glamourpuss and telling her that she looks expensive and luxurious. Grace acknowledges that Rachelle has been through a big change and calls her brave. I can't see what's different apart from the fringe but I'm not a Creative Director. We cut again to the tear filled faces of Tiffany and Alisha. Charlotte swishes around. She LOVES her hair!

Grace points out Nicola's lovely cheekbones and jawline that her new hair colour has apparently given her. Nicola is over the moon. Joy's hairdo moves Grace to dance. She's got a short bob and looks on the verge of tears. Amelia tells Grace she thinks her hair has more style, but would have kept it longer. Grace wants to know how long she wants it. Amelia gives the only correct answer, that it's about what they want, not what she wants. Grace thinks Harleen's hair is beautiful and that Olivia has a femininity she hasn't seen before. Amba has indeed morphed into Leona Lewis. [Amazing. - Steve] Grace thinks it's well posh. She also thinks that Delita's hair is a lot sleeker and she sees her eyes before she sees the do. Grace then moves on to Alisha, who she says is now a big eyed girl and that she looks really beautiful. Alisha says that it will take some getting used to but she does like it. Grace tells Kirsty to Rock Out her blonde hair.

We then move on to poor, poor Tiffany. Grace thanks the hairdresser on her behalf because she thinks it's an amazing job and that Tiffany will like it soon. Tiffany doesn't look so sure and neither do I. It's boys hair. Tiffany can't believe she let them do it, and she hopes Elle can see that it shows she really wants it.

Grace now has a message from Auntie Elle and gives it to Susan to read out. She has to scoot off, but she'll see them at elimination.

"Can you handle the world of Couture?" the E-Mail asks, "Be ready nice and early for some high fashion!"

COMING UP! Nicola looks like La Roux and Tiffany looks like she's going to cry (again).

We're back. It's Oxford Street! It's somewhere warehousey! Bad Romance is playing, and the bit about "wanting your ugly" is cunningly cued up with a shot of some astoundingly ugly jewelry. Elizabeth Galton, the Creative Director of Links of London is here with her couture collecting. She wants the girls to do a strong editorial shoot with her unique pieces of jewelry that are worth up to £50,000. She wants the girls to channel an Urban Warrior look for the shoot and sends them off to hair and makeup.

Nicola thinks she can do this, she's been waiting for a shoot like this. She arrives and tells Galton and the FitPhotographer that she's nervous but excited. They want her to give a strong look, throw some good angles and get the cuffs she's wearing into shot when she can. They think that she did really well and has set the bar high for the other girls.

Joy is out next, wearing a cage which she tells us is worth more than anything in her house. Galton and the FitPhotographer find her difficult to shoot and apparently she's not thinking of her face enough, which is tense with no variety.

Delita's outfit, which she calls a costume, has giant spikes on it, and she feels like Lady Ga Ga. She also doesn't give enough variety. Galton and FitPhotographer think they've got the shot but there's not a selection to chose from.

Amelia is told she's doing her "Rabbit in the headlights" face again, which she said put her off because Grace brought it up last week.

Charlotte told us that there was lights, jewellery and hair on her shoot. she said it helped her get into warrior mode. Galton and FitPhotographer think that she was good, easy to work with, capable and relaxed in front of the camera.

Kirsty's next, and we're reminded that she has five minutes less this week. Galton and the FitPhotographer tell her not to let it work against her, as they would expect a professional to be able to get the shot in five minutes. No pressure then. Kirsty said that she didn't want to think about having less time and carried on as normal. Galton and FitPhotographer said she didn't have anything to worry about, because they got their shot within the first few frames and they like her face and hair.

Rachelle says that she was told to hold the lights to illuminate the jewellery and be interesting and make shapes. She said she used her flexibility to achieve this. Oh Rachelle, have you never watched this before? You have to forget how to be a dancer because modelling is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. She complained about not getting much feedback and they didn't say if she was doing what they wanted her to do. She left the shoot thinking she did terribly, and I have a terrible sense of foreboding for Rachelle. Galton and FitPhotographer think that she was hard work and expressionless, and that she gave the same face in every frame.

Tiffany is still distraught over hairgate. I feel that it deserves -gate status at this point. Susan thinks that she's under the weather. Tiffany proves that her haircut is really bad by saying that they've had to re-wet it three times because they can't find a good style for it and it's getting to her now. FitPhotographer says that she's looking unhappy in the shot. Tiffany later explains that she had been crying all day and all night and this was coming through in the shot. Galton and FitPhotographer say that although she looks like she was going to cry in the first few, her elfin features really worked in the shot. They like her look but say that she has to commit to it.

Susan says she felt like a new person after her hair and makeup, but she goes into the studio and pulls the same face as she always does. Galton and FitPhotographer like her because she is bouncy and brings energy to the shoot, and they like that she's brought her personality.

Alisha next. Alisha has been waiting for this day since the beginning of the competition, and she's sick of sharing the limelight. It's her time to shine. They like her. They say that her attitude is good and that she was keen to please. She worked it.

Harleen said that she was trying to do high fashion, high energy poses but she didn't think they came across like that. Galton and FitPhotographer think that she needs to remember her face more and give more versatility. They also say that she has a bit of an upside-down mouth and that she needs to adapt her face so she doesn't look upset.

Amba gets her extra five minutes, but she doesn't want the judges to say that she needed them. She thinks the extra time is a blessing and a curse. [Someone's watched this show before. Well done, Amba! - Steve] She doesn't need it after all, because they love her. She knew what she was doing, she knew what to do with the dress and she was generally amazing.

Finally we have Olivia. Galton and FitPhotographer tell her to soften her face, then she looks to happy. She answers them back and sniggers. They think that she needs to be more careful she doesn't rub people up the wrong way. Olivia thinks that they didn't explain themselves properly in the beginning, and if they did, she'd have understood.

Adverts! Elimination after the break.

Break over, we arrive in the eliminaton room. The girls are all impossibly co-ordinated and well turned out. Elle is wowed by the fantastic transformation of all the girls, and it's wonderful to see them all looking so beautiful. We are reminded that it's the second elimination and Elle has her panel to help. It's international fashion designer Julien MacDonald, Grace Woodward, Creative Director and stylist who is looking fab in a red ruffley shirt and international model Charley Speed. Tonight's guest judge is completely randomly Noemie Lenoir, who has been in French Vogue, Sports Illustrated and the Marks and Spencer's ads in her pants.

We are reminded of the prizes, although the chance to participate in a Revlon campaign is decidedly different to winning the part on a Revlon campaign.

Charlotte is up first. She loves her makeover, obviously. Julien doesn't like her picture. He wants to, but he doesn't. He says that she looks like a normal Cornish girl who should be eating a pastie, and nothing else. [And Julien earns the ire of the entire Cornish people *rolls up sleeves* - Steve] Charlotte mumbles something about her choker being uncomfortable, and instead of a Tyra-like speech about "working it" or suchlike, Elle and Charley sympathise and said she did a good job looking comfortable.

Next up is "beautiful Tiffany". Elle reminds her that the last time she saw her she was in tears. Tiffany says she is still shocked by her hair. Elle says that everyone has had times when their hair colour (length surely?) hasn't worked and that Tiffany shouldn't let it take over who she is and her personality. They love her photo though, they think she looks like Edie Sedgewick. Charley thinks that the shock of her haircut comes through in the photo. Julien disagrees and thinks it's current and worthy of an editorial.

Then we have Delita, who isn't required to talk. Grace isn't convinced by her photo. She thinks that her feet should be two feet wider apart and she should be showing some crotch. Noemie tactfully explains that she would have given more "front" and opened her legs more and made her face more angry.

Alisha is told that she has a beautiful, neat head now. she admits to crying when she had it done but now she thinks she looks fierce and she really likes it. Her picture is awful, but Elle thinks it's amazing. Julien has seen it before and thinks it's not interesting but Elle loves the simplicity, her face and body look great and the jewellery looks great.

Next, Rochelle. The judges think she could have gotten more strength into the shot by facing the camera. Julien says that she needs to practice in a mirror to see how she looks in photos. I think that if that is the best shot, I really don't want to see the worst.

Nicola's photo is brilliant. She looks loads like La Roux, but in a good way, really. They all love it and say well done.

Harleen's turn. Julien says that love is in the air and he loves her. Grace loves her eyes and legs. She's not blown away but thinks she's starting to work with what she's got. Noemie loves the face.

Susan is unsurprisingly pulling her usual face in the photograph, and it's extremely awkward. It's what the American version of the show would call Broken Down Doll. Julien doesn't like the dress or the pose but likes her face. Grace doesn't understand what she's tring to put across, and that if she is going to play a role, she should play it.

Olivia doesn't fare much better. The female judges think she looks uncomfortable. Charley then goes off on a ridiculous fantasy tangent about how she basically looks like a prostitute in a dirty alley and it's really good. Grace thinks it's tense, and she doesn't believe that she's wearing an expensive necklace that makes her feel gorgeous and sexy.

Amelia's photo is terrible. She is holding a light on her face and it's casting a shadow over all of it. Elle grudgingly admits that she didn't handle herself to the best of her ability. Charley doesn't think she gave it 100%. Noemie says she would have held the light differently.

Julien thinks that Joy has gone from council to chic and that she looks really good, but doesn't like the picture. Grace thinks her hands are in the wrong place and her head is too far back. Elle tells her that she should have put her hands on her hips and looked straight into the camera.

Amba is the challenge winner, and the judges are keen to see how she used her extra five minutes. They love the picture. They think it's simple and elegant. Noemie says she's got strong eyes and when Amba looks at the camera you can see what she wants inside. Julien thinks that she looks expensive, and it's just as well, because he likes expensive things and that Beyonce should move over.

Kirsty is last. Despite her lost five minutes, Julien thinks her shot is Vogue worthy. Grace wouldn't go that far. Kirsty tells her off for ruining her moment, as does Elle. Grace says she won't say it again.

During deliberation, the judges will make the hard decision about who is going home. Charley likes that Charlotte isn't smiling in her picture but feels she could have gone further. Grace thinks that although Tiffany hates her makeover, it was the making of a style icon. Julien loves the photo of Alisha but thinks that she knows she is beautiful and that comes across. They agree that Delita's picture is horrible, but that she's a great girl, but Charley wonders if she's got the strength to go further. Rachelle's face is strong but they don't like her body. They think that Nicola looks incredible. Julien thinks that Harleen looks like Wonderwoman, and that she's gone from a nobody to a superhero hottie. They call Susan Julianne Moore. Julien says that she's nice but he wants to see her go nuts.

Grace thinks that Olivia's picture is so boring she wants to go to sleep. Charley is still enjoying his prostitute/punter fantasy and leaps to defend it. Amelia didn't know what to do with the light and Noemie thinks this may be a confidence issue. Julien says that were there is joy, there is pain, and that Joy's picture is definitely pain. Everyone loves Amba. Noemie says that it's tres chic. Elle then speaks French and says très belle. The love is extended to Kirsty. They love her look, her attitude and she sets the standard for the other girls. It's a difficult decision.

So we're back with the girls. There are 13 girls before Elle, but only 12 will still be in the running.

Nicola is called first. Her makeover made it. Followed by Amba, Kirsty then Tiffany, who needs to embrace her hairdo as her attitude will change everything. Next is Charlotte, Delita, Alisha, Susan, Joy, Harleen and finally Amelia.

This leaves Rachelle and Olivia. I couldn't pick who was worst between them, but Rachelle had the photoshoot of doom so my money is on her. The girl who isn't called has to go back to the house, pack her things and leave. The girl in the photograph is...Olivia. Rachelle is going home. Elle knows it's not the end of the road for her, she has doen well and is a beautiful girl who will definitley continue to work.

Rachelle is sad that she's been eliminated, but knew it was her weakest week. She's not surprised, but she gave it her all and knows she tried her hardest.

Next Week! Go sees end in a SHOCK ELIMINATION! Elle mentors the girls and they meet a pop idol on the photoshoot, although I'm sure she was Popstars: The rivals.

Steve will be with you for next week's recap.

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