Sunday, 29 August 2010

Ice Ice Ladies

Top 7 - 23rd August 2010

Hello! Welcome to episode eight of Britain’s Next Top Model. We begin, as always, with a recap of last weeks episode. We get to see Alisha screaming in Ricky Whittle’s face again, Elle says Holly-OAKS wrong again, we see Alisha mauled by surprisingly tanned Zombie hands again and we see Elle squeezing Nicola’s tear-soaked exit face again. We then get to see what’s coming up this week. There is some screaming, some running up an escalator in a High Street Fashion challenge, Alisha is on AGAIN crying about a challenging photoshoot ON ICE and the seven remaining girls will face Elle and the Judges in the elimination room, which to me is sounding more like a posh expression for a toilet every week.

But there can be only one Britain’s Next Top Model (this year). Titles! I’m struck by how much better Tiffany looked with long hair.

Kirsty interviews that when she came home from elimination, she found a letter on the fridge door. She seems pleased that Nicola has written in block capitals across the top of the letter that she has to read it. “Hi Everyone,” reads Kirsty. “You are all such amazing people and I’ve ended up making so many friends. Kirsty, I love you so much, you are such a kind girl. You have helped me a way you didn’t even realise. Love you all, bye and good luck”. Aww. Kirsty breaks down whilst reading this. Alisha pulls a face. She interviews that it was a really emotional letter, and she can understand why Kirsty cried, but she says that everything Kirsty does is really staged. I just think that the only emotion Alisha feels is the desire to be on camera pretty much permanently, so human emotions don’t really register with her.

Joy interviews that she didn’t find it emotional at all, she just thinks that it’s another one gone and it doesn‘t bother her. I think Joy should be on every reality show ever. Can you imagine her on the X Factor? Dermot asks her what she is here to do and she just shrugs and says “Sing a song, what else could I be here for?”. Lovely. ["There's always Asda." - Steve] Tiffany then throws in her tuppence worth. She’s not that bothered about it, because they are there for a reason. She turns to Kirsty and says she’s not going to be all “Like...waah, Nicky” then makes a crying face. “We have to buck up, eh?”. She then mimes drying her eyes. Kirsty looks like she wants to kill everyone in the room.

Some long shots of the house at night before the E-Mail arrives. Olivia reads it. “A Top Model must be prepared for any occasion. Tomorrow is your chance to prove that you too can be ready for any time, any place, anywhere. Charlotte wonders what the hell that means. She interviews that she’s wondering what the hell that means. Olivia can’t put her finger on it. Charlotte doesn’t know AGAIN, but it’s alright, because she’s taking lots of pants. Charlotte seems like the kind of girl that would be prepared.

Some Londonporn. Alisha interviews that everyone is really excited about this task, because they didn’t know what they were doing. Faultless logic again, Alisha. She then tells us that they have arrived at Oxford St, which is one of her favourite places IN THE WORLD. So much so that she LITERALLY knows it like the back of her hand. The girls enter an unidentified shop. Amelia says that they were all excited, because they thought it might be another shopping spree, as cheeky as it sounds. So you want it to be another shopping spree for the spoils then, Amelia?

The girls reach the top of the escalator, and the signs around the shop tell us that they are in New Look. They are greeted by Steph Theobold, who apparently is an Online TV presenter for New Look TV (really) and Charlotte Carey, who is a senior designer for the brand. They are casting for a presenter for their online TV show. Kirsty’s eyes immediately begin to glitter. In order to fulfil the challenge, the girls will each have to pick out seven items of clothing that they can mix and match to create three different looks - An outfit for castings, for parties and for a lazy casual Sunday. Joy’s eyes immediately widen in terror. Charlotte looks confused. Olivia nods knowingly. They’ll have five minutes to choose the outfits, and two to present them. They have all of the (three floor by the sign beside the New look Ladies) flagship store at their disposal.

Charlotte says in voiceover that she’s reminded of Supermarket Sweep when the panic kicks in, and people get a look in their eyes. Amelia says that the store was massive, and they had five minutes to run around the store and get seven items. Yes, Amelia. The nice lady from New Look just told us that. There’s lots of running around. Amelia holds her head and says she can’t do it. Olivia can’t find anything for her casting. Tiffany goes for the scattergun approach and picks up loads of things to decide from at the end. Alisha wants to give up because it’s ridiculous. Olivia hops about with one shoe on.

Steph Theobold gets out her megaphone and tells the girls that their time is up. Steph tells them that there is an extra catch. The contestants will have to pick another girl to model their outfits. Charlotte interviews that after the previous challenge she knows she’s good at presenting. I’m glad the girls are forgetting their British modesty and getting down to proper Top Model business. It’s been a long time coming. Charlotte does do well at the presenting. Kirsty is modelling her clothes, which are not terrible. The New Look Ladies think that she came across as confident, having a laugh and relaxed. They are pleased with her performance. Charlotte looks pleased with herself.

Amelia tells us in interview that she chose Tiffany to model her outfits because she knew she would do them justice. Amelia has chosen a stripy cardigan and a T-shirt with the Eiffel tower on it, which makes Tiffany look Parisian. Who knew? Amelia also informs us that layering is “in”. Tiffany points out that the clothes Amelia had picked were her own style. Yes Tiffany, that’s what one tends to do when they are shopping. Amelia says that she is close to Tiffany, so she knows her personality and she thinks that she looks really good in the clothes. Amelia, Tiffany is only close to you so she can stab you in the back. She just did, there.

Alisha chooses Olivia as her model. Alisha tells everyone that Olivia isn’t wearing any pants, so she can’t actually wear the skirt that she has picked out. The skirt apparently gives a bit of SHIMMER! To the outfit. Really, that’s how she pronounces it. Olivia rolls her eyes in the interview room and complains that she looked like a state in the outfit. Alisha thinks that Olivia should take a leaf out of her book and start dressing in the clothes that she picked out because she thinks it suits her.

Charlotte then pops up again to tell us that Kirsty chose her as her model, which was nice of her. I’m not sure that Kirsty picking another girl to model for her should be added to the list of Why Kirsty Is A Bitch, because she was sort of told to. But nice try anyway, Charlotte. Kirsty puts Charlotte in a Mac which has some ruching. Charlotte is surprised that Kirsty picked some nice outfits. Kirsty uses a double negative, and I judge her. (“She can wear this without no jeans”) Surely that could be added to the Why Kirsty Is A Bitch list?

Joy picks Tiffany to be her model. Joy interviews that she’s “not a very good person at fashion”. Looks like Lynn Truss is coming for Joy too. Tiffany is up next, and she has picked Amelia to model her clothes. She has picked a “girly, chick and hip” dress. I hope she means 'chic'. She has also picked a “funky” jacket.

Olivia chose Alisha to model her clothes because she chose her and she wanted to return the (air quotes) favour. Alisha interviews that when she first saw Olivia’s choices before they were on, she thought they were quite nice, but they are clearly a train wreck on. Olivia interviews that she was glad that Alisha was wearing them and not her, because when she saw them together she thought “hell no”. Alisha is upset because Olivia looked at her like it was her fault. Charlotte laughs at them openly. Alisha wouldn’t wear any of the clothes to a casting in case they thought she was at the wrong casting. I’m not good at fashion, like Joy, so I won’t begin to describe it, but all I will say is that lace featured quite prominently. The New Look Ladies point out that Olivia’s choices were all short and tight. Olivia says that if she had the chance again, she would put a pair of jeans in there. Probably for the best.

The New Look Ladies have chosen a winner. Who’s betting that it’s the only one who they gave feedback to? Yes, it’s Charlotte, for the reasons they have already told her. She will present on the New Look Channel to literally TENS of people. She also wins ten pairs of New Look Shoes. [It's not exactly a "here's £100k worth of diamonds" challenge, is it? Swizz. - Steve] OF COURSE, Alisha isn’t happy that Charlotte won. She thinks that her presenting skills are humorous. I think they are HILARIOUS, Alisha, but perhaps not in the same way as you want me to. Alisha complains that Charlotte didn’t make her laugh. I’m a bit worried that Alisha hasn’t cottoned on that fashion is SRS BIZNESS yet. Olivia gives Alisha the best “shame” look I have ever seen and Alisha looks like she is going to cry. Alisha finishes the segment by saying that she “Should have won, because...I should have won”. I love it when the contestants are articulate. Really plays down those dumb model stereotypes.

Coming up! Screaming on a helicopter! Wearing Bottles! Being welcomed in to the heart of a glacier! Amelia thinks she’s in the Marines! Alisha feels stupid! Adverts.

Back at the house, there are flags everywhere. Amelia has thoughtfully co-ordinated her skirt with them. Alisha and Kirsty start screaming at the flags. Alisha interviews that she was screaming about the flag, but she didn’t know what she was saying yay to. Joy knows from the flags they are going somewhere. Her second thought is where are the flags for. OF COURSE Charlotte knows that the flags are for Norway. [At the very least, they should've recognised the flags from their hand lotion bottles. - Steve] Amelia has an E-Mail telling the girls that they have a few items of clothing on their bed that may come in handy. Their flight leaves in a few hours, they’re off to Norway. Everyone immediately starts jumping and screaming. I’m not sure they know what Norway is. Charlotte reminds everyone to pack. On their beds, the girls have pink snowsuits. This in no way lessens their excitement. They immediately put everything on. Kirsty interviews that she has a feeling they are going to the Fjords. I think this is mainly to show off that she has some knowledge of Norway and what goes on there. Alisha isn’t worried. She lives in England and coldness is “Naturally normal” to her, but if it’s colder than England there may be a problem. Take the clue from the snow suits, Alisha, and keep bashing down those model stereotypes. Tiffany, coming from a hot country, is terrified of the cold.

More Londonporn, and another airport montage. Charlotte tells us the flight was, wait for it, AMAZING. Tiffany says that they felt really special and everyone was looking at them. They are brought Champagne and strawberries, which Charlotte tells us made her feel important. Norwayporn! The girls arrive at what Joy calls Eseport, reportedly at the crack of dawn. They have all changed into their snow suits. They are welcomed to Norway by an unidentified man. Alisha reports that she looked around when she arrived and saw two helicopters. Kirsty doesn’t want to get too excited. The unidentified man is identified as Peter Krogh, who is the CEO of Isklar, which is Icelandic natural mineral water. He tells the girls that Isklar means “Ice Clear” and that they will find this very fitting, as they are being taken to a glacier. They are told that they will be doing a photoshoot on the glacier, wearing dresses made out of bottles. The overriding reaction to this is shock. Peter Krogh tells the girls that the winner will be featured in a marketing campaign and that they will be travelling to their destination by helicopter.

The reactions to this, are, as Charlotte tells us, mixed. Kirsty, Tiffany and Joy (yes, Joy) are excited. Olivia seems unsure because she thinks a glacier is frozen water. Alisha is terrified, of course. She crosses herself and screams for the entire journey. Amelia predicts that Alisha is praying to God. Cut to her crossing herself again. Alisha complains that Charlotte is enjoying the ride whilst she is fearing for her life. Olivia is happy when they arrive both because she is alive and because of the snow. She immediately jumps on Kirsty. Olivia regrets this afterwards because, get this, the snow is cold.

Hair and Makeup montage! Olivia wants silver hair to make her look icy. Alisha appears to have a blue Batman mask painted on. Charlotte gets a white bob wig. Everyone eyes it jealously.

The girls wonder how cold it will be. Peter Krogh informs us that it’s minus five, windy and there is snow in the air, so wearing nothing but bottles will be a challenge. O RLY. Charlotte misinterpreted what wearing a dress made of bottles would actually entail. She didn’t realise that she would be wearing bottles tied together with string. Apparently the string is tight on the dress and it is squeaky. We get a gratuitous shot of Charlotte’s arse. She informs everyone she is naked under the dresses. Alisha is scared.

Charlotte steps out of the snow cart and screams. She interviews that she thought she was going to die. She is informed she has 20 shots. She continues the interview by saying that she began to freeze from the feet up, and that it was difficult to keep the poses edgy and keep her wig on. The Photographer, Ole Marcus Fossen is happy she didn’t complain, even though he was freezing his ass off. Nice sympathy there. Cut to Tiffany with no makeup on, wondering how cold it’s going to be. Alisha says she has a good pain threshold. Tiffany says she has none. Good luck with that. Charlotte comes back in saying that she didn’t have to be out there that long. Kirsty is worried.

Amelia next, who lies through her teeth by saying that she didn’t feel the cold as much as she should have, because she was concentrating on getting a good picture, which is what she should be doing. She shouts that it’s like being in the Marines. She feels that she’s got a lot more to prove after being in the bottom two last week. She said she really enjoyed what she did and didn’t want to come off, so it’s a mystery even to her why she burst into tears when she got back. You got upset because it was horrible Amelia, ADMIT IT. When probed by Charlotte, she admits that it’s “too much”. Atta girl.

Alisha next. Her dress doesn’t cover her boobs even a little bit. She declares her dress a “Death Sentence”. She interviews that she nearly didn’t go out there, but she remembered that it was a competition and that she has to do whatever it takes. She goes on to say that the cold was different to opening the freezer to get chicken nuggets, it was actually freezing. Alisha, I’m pretty sure a freezer freezes stuff, but I could be wrong. [I vote we chuck her into one of those giant deep-freezes just to compare. - Steve] She continues by saying that the shoot felt like sunbathing in the North Pole, and when it snowed the “Ice things” (I’m guessing snowflakes) dug into her skin and went into her eyes. She thinks she’s done the best I can do. The photographer likes the poses but her face wasn’t up to scratch. When she returns, she gets stung by the warm air on her cold skin and immediately starts to cry. Unfortunately, she is not around to slag herself off for putting stuff on for the cameras, so the duty falls to Charlotte, who isn’t sure if it was an overreaction, but Alisha definitely was hysterical. Olivia interviews that she probably would’ve cried as well...maybe...ish.

Olivia appears to have drawn an even shorter dress straw than Alisha, as she has one that she can’t move her arms or legs in. She didn’t realise what she was going to be doing until she was doing it. The photographer wanted strong, face on poses but she wasn’t doing it.

Joy next. She interviews that she thought she was going to pass out because breathing hurt. She says that the photographer told her she was moving too much, but she was moving around a lot to keep warm.

Kirsty interviews that this is THE hardest photoshoot. She has the same hairdo she has in the opening credits, only sprayed silver. The photographer wants her to be more robotic. He didn’t think that she gave them.

Tiffany is the last to go up. She interviews that this was a disadvantage, as she had to watch everyone come back freezing, shaking and crying saying it was horrible. She panicked when she saw how much it was snowing. She also reports that the stylists thought that she looked really cold and they came with blankets for her, but she wanted to continue to show that she was able to do it. I believe you, Tiffany. Peter Krogh tells us immediately that he interpreted this as impatience. The photographer is disappointed and she seemed that she didn’t want to be photographed. Back at the hut, Tiffany says that she was shaking so much she couldn’t breathe, but she’s done it, and she’s proud of herself.

Coming up! Hats can kill you! Elimination!


After the break, we’re still in Norway. Charlotte explains that they are going out to dinner in a fancy restaurant. They are informed that the main course will be Ox. Olivia is confused. Amelia says Ox isn’t great for her because her dog looks a bit like a cow. I can’t add anything to this revelation. I have been literally stunned into silence. It’s broken every single sarcastic, cynical part of me. I may need a moment to carry on.


Back to business, Alisha complains that Amelia is upset. That’s more like it.

Charlotte isn’t happy that there are some of her number that do not like rocket. Olivia hates rocket and avocado. Alisha hates rocket. Amelia hates it too, and doesn’t understand why everyone has to keep going on about it. The next course arrives, the Ox, and Olivia describes it as “some potato thing that was stuck in a rock”, or at least that’s what it sounds like. She then proceeds to scrape off the sauce and loudly refers to her napkin as the “purple thing”. Tiffany looks mortified, and says in her interview that there are always going to be people who moan, but she thought Olivia was really rude.

An E- Mail arrives at the dinner table. It is read by Charlotte. It reads “Your next challenge will see you walking tall if you want to stay a-head in the competition. The cars will meet you at Gatwick bright and early love Elle”. Amelia immediately suggests that they are going to be on stilts. Alisha thinks this is madness, but Olivia runs with the idea. Clearly excited, she starts going on about Covent Garden and stilt walkers who walk like them clown men. Tiffany gives her a look of distilled contempt more frozen than the glacier.

We see their plane leave the frozen airport. Alisha says in her interview that she loved coming back to England, because nothing feels better than home. Kirsty reports that they all slept for the whole journey. Tiffany can’t believe everyone has to go straight to a challenge, because in her opinion, nobody looked good. They arrive at the Dorchester. Tiffany goes on to say that she is in shock, because it’s the most famous hotel in London.

Charlotte reports that when she walked in the room she saw Grace and a little man. She didn’t know who the man was. Kirsty reports that his name is Stephen Jones, because she knows about fashion and that. Grace welcomes the girls back to London, and to the glamorous Dorchester hotel. She explains that the challenge will be with THE milliner, Stephen Jones, OBE. Alisha still looks blank. As does Joy. You can imagine which one seems to care less.

Stephen Jones explains to the girls that celebrities love hats, and that his first clients were Boy George, then almost immediately after that, DIANA. These days he has to make do with Beyonce and Lady Gaga. The girls’ challenge with the hats is to make them their own. Stephen Jones wants to see authority, elegance, grace and poise because a hat can either make you the most important person on the runway or KILL YOU COMPLETLEY. Charlotte is dreading it, Tiffany doesn’t know how to model that stuff because some of them were big and extreme. The challenge involves walking a bit and posing on a podium.

Amelia is up first, and she doesn’t like it because she didn’t know what was going to happen. Grace wants her to be “less Eliza Doolittle at the races and more Duchess”, whatever that means. Stephen clears this up by saying “Aristocratic”. Aah. Amelia takes this to mean “suck your cheeks in”. Stephen wants to see more jaw line, and Grace gets her Duchess.

Kirsty next. Joy says in her interview that Joy seems to be a bit of a hat freak. Kirsty’s hat is a sideways mini top hat. Stephen likes her in it. Grace wanted to see more balls out craziness, again, whatever that means. Kirsty looks suitably confused, as does Stephen. Grace says, by way of explanation, that is what she expects from Kirsty. Kirsty insists in her interview that she can show that with a smile. Stephen praises her elegance but says that he wasn’t getting the crazy. That he didn’t seem to want. Kirsty feels damned both ways and I don’t blame her.

Joy next. Her hat is a branch with pink silk flowers on it, which she says in her interview reminded her of reindeer antlers with leaves stuck on them. Joy goes on to say that she knows she’s crap at catwalk, and she’s probably going to break her ankle or trip over and walk like a weirdo. She has a little wobble on the podium as she’s told to remember her fluidity. Grace tells her she walks like she’s got a ton of bricks on her head, not some silk flowers.

Tiffany is nervous. Stephen is challenged by Tiffany’s short blonde hair. Tiffany then interviews that she doesn’t know why she keeps getting nervous, because it doesn’t go well for her. She gets a hat that looks like it’s made of melted Perspex. Her poses are cute, very nice and very Dior.

Alisha is told to pull up to the bumper next. She was really happy with the choice, which was the same hat as Joy’s. Grace loves her face, but thinks that there is something wrong with her body. Apparently it’s her arms, which she now must make sure that nobody notices. Alicia interviews that she feels deformed and that Grace had cut her arms of. She doesn’t really like that.

Olivia is worried because Grace always says she walks like a tranny. Tiffany thinks Olivia has a funny walk. The girls barely conceal their amusement. Grace thinks Olivia needs to come out of herself and make herself more expensive. So what you’re basically saying, Grace, is that Olivia is cheap. Olivia is just happy not to be told that she walks like a tranny.

Charlotte gets a leather rose and a veil. She doesn’t think catwalk is her strong point. She says that she was nervous and it showed. Joy gleefully points out in her interview that Charlotte was “pulling a dodgy cod eye”, complete with impressions. Charlotte says that the hat was poking her in the eye so she couldn’t see where she was going. Alisha doesn’t think that that is an excuse, because Charlotte has two eyes. [Yeah, who needs depth perception, anyway? - Steve] Grace asks if the hat is poking her in the eye, Charlotte answers honestly, then Grace tells her off because she’s going to have bones, pins and things in her eye and it shouldn‘t spoil her focus. Charlotte takes this with good grace in front of Grace and Stephen but bitches in interview that she was asked a direct question and still got the blame. [In fairness, anyone who's seen any iteration of the Top Model franchise before surely knows that you must never blame your outfit for your performance, because whatever happens, It Is Always Your Fault. - Steve]

Alisha feels sorry for Charlotte because unless she picks up her game, she could be going home. Yay team spirit!

Overall, the challenge winner, much to Stephen’s surprise is Tiffany. He thinks she’s a complete natural. Tiffany is over the moon to win her first challenge. I’m glad because in the challenges she’s lost, she hasn’t seen the challenges as that important, so I’m glad she’s decided this one is. Her prize is a hat. Kirsty is jealous that Tiffany’s got a Stephen Jones hat.

Back at the house, an E-Mail tells the girls that they have learned that “being a model can be fast paced and glamorous but can also be work, work, work. Find out tomorrow which one of you hasn’t made the grade see you at elimination love Elle Kiss.” That is exactly how Tiffany reads it. Amelia thinks it’s going to be a mean one this week. Charlotte is so worried she’s not going to sleep. Kirsty and Joy think that Amelia is overtired. She agrees. Kirsty says that she thinks she may go this week. She says that although she has the personality, the other girls have something she doesn’t. Modesty perhaps? The ability not to rub everyone up the wrong way. Tiffany thinks the photoshoot was problematic. Alisha says that she had snow blowing in every hole you could think of whilst she was having her photo taken. She thinks she will be slaughtered by Julien and hanged. Yep, she’s worried.

Coming up! Grace says someone looks like Sienna Miller (too far Grace) and that someone hasn’t pulled it off.


The girls walk into the elimination room, all of them clearly nervous. Elle reminds them that they’ve had a huge week this week, they started off presented for a High St brand (I think she means presenting), then they were whisked off to Norway to work in sub-zero conditions. Don’t they hate that? It’s at this point I notice Kirsty has an actual MANE and Joy is wearing a dress that almost exactly matches her skin tone. Then as soon as they got off the plane they went on a go-see for Stephen Jones. Elle introduces the judges, guest judge this week is Giles Deacon. Giles has worked for people like Gwyneth Paltrow, Lily Allen and Aggy. We hear about the prizes again.

The judging starts with Charlotte. Her photo is good, but her hair is all over her face. Charlotte says that she enjoyed the shoot. Elle lets her know that the brand have chosen her for the advertising campaign. Charlotte is shocked. Julien says that the girl in front of her and the girl in the photo are two different things. I think he thinks one of them isn’t real. I’d go for the photo, Julien. He thinks that this is a good thing though, the key to being a Top Model in fact. He has one criticism though, it’s that if Charlotte ever wanted to become a catwalk model she would need to be slightly thinner, as she’s a bit “round and curvaceous”. Wow, charming. I’m fully expecting Elle to jump to her defence, but she doesn’t, saying her body doesn’t look as good as it could look in the photograph. Elle tries to play this down by saying that her weight fluctuates too and she has to be careful about her legs in photographs. I am shocked and stunned by this. [I think it's par for the course: Julien once told a contestant on Project Catwalk that she was too fat to be a fashion DESIGNER. He's clearly just a bitch. - Steve] Charlie goes on to say that her face looks amazing, and says well done to everyone. He then goes on to tell a story about doing a shoot on the side of the rocky mountains in a pair of pants that nobody really gives a crap about, but they pretend to. Grace says that there can’t have been much to see. Charlie takes umbrage with this until Grace explains that it would be because of the cold. Right.

Amelia is next. Her photo looks like all of her other ones but the makeup and background make her look different. She likes her face and her body in the shot. Grace is impressed that she made the bottles look like a dress. Amelia thinks she is coming across better now. Giles says that one of the keys to being a successful model is to transform in shots, and he can see that she looks different in the photo to what he’s seeing. Julien says that he wants to see her enjoy what she is doing and be more confident. Grace agrees and does a crap impression of Julien.

Alisha is next. She’s pulling a silly face in the photo. She thinks she looks plastic. Grace says she’s her Ice Ice Baby. Is she going to try to get a song lyric in every week? Grace loves the face, Charley thinks that she looks like she doesn’t want to get in the chopper. Julien thinks it would have been a good idea to get back on it though, as she looks tense and she doesn’t make the bottles look good. Alisha tries to protest that she had a difficult dress. Oh, Alisha, have you never seen this before? You never blame the dress. [See? I told you! - Steve] She rescues it though, by saying that she wanted the most difficult dress to show what she could do. Julien says that it’s probably her worst week.

Olivia’s turn. Elle actually likes it, Grace thinks she’s done well in the photo, which is ok, but when it came down to modelling the couture hat, it just wasn’t there. Elle has noticed that Olivia finds it difficult to find poses that work for her and the client. Olivia has the good grace not to blame the dress, which was probably much harder to model in than Alisha’s. Elle feeds back that the photographer thought she wasn’t very good at all, and that they thought she didn’t listen.

Next up is “Joy-Belle”. no, really. They look at her best shot. Joy doesn’t love it. Giles Deacon thinks it looks like the cover of a comedy Christmas single. Grace thinks that she’s trying to channel a different look which she’s pleased to see, but she doesn’t think it worked.

Kirsty’s told to Come On Down. She’s got her arm up in the photo for a change. It looks like she’s holding up her ridiculous hair tree. Giles thinks it’s serene, even though it lacks a certain energy. I thought that’s what serene meant, but today's is the episode where grammar came to die, so I don’t think semantics can really come into it either. Julien thinks that she looks soft and gentle in the picture, even though she looks like Tina Turner on acid in person. Kirsty responds to this with the fakest laugh ever. Way to work that personality, girl. It lacks energy for Charley, and for him it’s a bit so-so. Elle comments on her arm, she thinks it’s a bit of a worry because she doesn’t understand why it’s up. Me neither Elle. Grace doesn’t think she’s pulled it off.

Last but not least is Tiffany. Her photo is a bit odd. She likes the face but not the legs, which she thinks look awkward. Julien doesn’t think it’s her best photograph - she looks cold. Grace would believe it if it was an advert for breath mints, and I immediately understand what the photo looks like. Giles agrees with her. Elle thinks it’s almost there. Elle then feeds back that the photographer told her that Tiffany had asked to “Get on with it”. Tiffany explains that she was turning blue and they came to warm her up, but she wanted to show she was professional and carry on and that it would be stupid to rush on the photographer. Elle thinks it’s a shame that that is the impression the photographer got.

Elle then says that it’s getting harder and harder to chose a girl for elimination, she doesn’t want to lose any of them but they have to make a decision.

First up for discussion is Charlotte. Julien thinks that she’s a natural beauty. Grace is surprised at how bad she was at the hat challenge. Amelia next, Elle says that she scrapes through every week but Charley thinks something has changed in her and it’s showing. Giles thinks she has something but he’s not sure what it is. Everyone agrees that Alisha’s picture is terrible. Elle has noticed a pattern in her photos where it’s either her face or her body that works, but never both of them together. Alisha’s photo is not Giles’ favourite, and he thinks that she looks awkward. Giles immediately focused on Olivia, but Charley is worried that she can’t walk. I think he means model walking specifically, because she seems to be doing fine with the normal kind. Giles thinks that Joy’s photograph is unfortunate because she looks beautiful and interesting in real life - that she seems to have a certain fight in her. I agree. She looks like she’d fight dirty outside the kebab shop at 4am. Julien thinks she’s grown in her confidence. Kirsty wows and seduces the judges with her enthusiasm, but week after week her pictures are mediocre. Julien says he’s always liked Kirsty, but perhaps it was her enthusiasm rather than the model that he liked. It’s funny, because none of the girls like her personality. Finally, Julien is not inspired by Tiff, she’s not a Top Model in his eyes. Elle wants to see more urchin from her. Whatever that means. Grace thinks that she’s got a Sienna Miller thing going on. Julien doesn’t think so, and looks over to his pal Giles and rolls his eyes. Grace presses on, citing her elfin features.

So who goes? Elle explains that at this point in the competition, it’s not just about how they’ve done this week, they’ll be looking at their overall potential as models. She has six photographs in her hands, representing those still in the running.

Charlotte is called first, followed by Amelia who is told she looks surprised. She does. Joy next, then Tiffany and finally Olivia. This leaves Alisha and Kirsty. Alisha is there because she has the face and the body, but they’re not working together. Kirsty is in the bottom two because she has an electrifying personality that’s not coming through in the images. The girl who’s photo is in Elle’s hands has another chance, and it’s Alisha. Alisha immediately bursts into tears.

Kirsty is feeling happy to be going home, because if she wasn’t going to win she’d rather be out sooner rather than later. She thinks that the panel sometimes don’t see her as she is. She doesn’t think that it’s the end for her, she’s a very talented girl and there’s lots of things out there for her. We see her sign off her letter, which says “I took Nicky’s letter because it means alot (sic) to me but when you get out you’ll all find an email with a copy. Kirsty”. No love, no best wishes...Nice. [But for sheer comedy value - best exit letter EVER. - Steve] We see a montage of arms up photos and she fades out the picture. Bye Kirsty!

Join Steven for next week, where we are promised the first beauty shoot, a one on one Chat with Elle and a 20 foot falling photoshoot where Olivia cries. Are you excited? I am.

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