Friday, 31 August 2012

A Risikat doesn't always land on her feet.

Top 8: 27th August 2012

Hello! Welcome back to another week of Bitching’s Next Top Model. Let’s hope after last week’s actual worst episode of manufactured drama and emotional manipulation that this episode sees us back on an even keel. We’ll see. The Voice Of Fearne ignores all that though, and concentrates on the Madeline is a bitch/Anita is a wide eyed innocent arc of LIES and what is going to happen this week, which is walking on water, falling over, male models and an argument between Tyson and Whitney. DRAMA.


We begin proper with Anita doing a very, very poor Joy impression re. Kellie going last week. She says it’s a fact of life and it’s something they’re just going to have to get over. THAT’S NOT YOUR LINE, ANITA. YOU’RE NOT FIT TO SAY IT. For some reason this platitude is accompanied by a shot of Big Ben. Go figure. Lisa reminds us that you have to be competitive in a competition. I’m not being facetious. Those were her actual words. I can’t even.  The girls all go back to the house and seven of them sit round discussing what’s going to happen next. Anita literally can’t call who will win. That’s right, because you don’t know.  Jennifer doesn’t have any idea. Lisa thinks anyone could go next and Emma says it doesn’t even matter if the judges like you then wonders aloud where Madeleine is. Madeleine is in the BED OF SAD after being in the bottom two. SHE LOOK SAD. She sadterviews that after being almost eliminated she needed some time out from the girls so she had some sad time in her sad bed complete with comedy sadface.  She’s feeling lost because she ended up in the bottom two even though she thought she had improved.

Back with the girls, Jennifer is speculating that Madeleine’s emotions must be up and down because she was sad before the shoot, happy after the shoot and now she’s sad again. Yup, I’d say that’s the very definition of up and down. Anita very patronisingly says that everyone feels like that but because they’re all friends they can talk about it to each other but some people choose to isolate themselves. This makes Emma and Letitia snigger. Anita says that if it was anyone else she’d care but because it’s Madeleine, she doesn’t.  I’m sorry, are we still expected to like Anita now after she’s leading this kind of bullying? Steve and I probably watch this series more closely than anyone else ever and I don’t think Madeleine has been hostile or horrible in any way to Anita. [Certainly not that I recall - she was a bit strange and reserved when they were rooming, but I don't recall her being openly hostile, certainly not in the same way that Saint Anita has been. Ugh, this show. - Steve] She called her out on her LOLKOOKYSLUT bullshit as part of the fortune cookie thing but in no way does she deserve this coven pulling her apart and saying that they don’t care. Anita, you are the actual worst. You really are.

Anita then self-justifyterviews that she and Madeleine have never seen eye to eye and they probably wouldn’t comfort each other anyway. Jennifer finally gets herself a sense of decency and goes to see if Madeleine is alright.  Madeleine is sad because she thinks that others like Letitia and Emma had worse pictures. Jennifer interviews that if Madeleine learned to be more open with people she could go a long way but she’s keeping herself to herself because the other girls are competition and she’s not here to make friends.  Damn straight. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’d want to be friends with any of you lot apart from Madeleine now Kellie has gone so I’m sorry but I think she has a point. You’ve all fed into this Madeleine is The Worst Human Ever stuff and I will sit and judge you for it. I wouldn’t want Anita as a friend anyway because she’s the kind of girl you go out with and she spends the entire evening talking to men leaving you holding her handbag.

Back to modelling, it’s now morning in the Top Model House and the girls are greeted with pastries, fruit, orange juice and six muffins which begs the question, which two girls aren’t getting muffins? Lisa interviews that it was the greatest breakfast. She’s a fool. It was Premier Inn continental buffet at best.  As they’re getting croissant crumbs down their front, James Galvin and someone called Annabel walk in. They wish the girls a good morning.  Annabel turns out to be Annabel Granger who is the brand manager for Tresemme.  Annabel reminds them that Tresemme is a quality product to give you a catwalk look every day so today they will be doing a catwalk ‘performance’ alongside professional models and there’s going to be a difference. Cue comedy surprised faces.

Risikat interviews that this is ‘real’ and that the reason they are in the competition is to do shows like this. True, because it’s probably going to be so contrived that it’s the type of modelling situation that would never, ever occur in the real world.  James Galvin warns them that the hair is going to be big and amazing so they’ll have to adapt their personalities. I’m sure acquiring a different face will be no big challenge for this lot. It seems they’ll be anything they’re told. James will see them there in an hour.

An hour later they all arrive at the studio to do their catwalk show.  Anita interviews that it will be really scary working with the other professional models.  Other? Are you suggesting that you might be ANYTHING NEAR a professional, Anita? Cos if you are I suggest you find another tree to bark up STAT because you’re clearly barking up the wrong one. She then redeems herself a bit by saying that she hopes that she blends in. Oh sweetheart, you won’t. You so won’t.  Letitia interviews in a child’s voice that she was really shocked when she walked into the room that they would be doing the catwalk in. Risikat interviews that it was just amazing. They all walk in and a heavy velvet curtain hits Jennifer in the face. She still manages to do her ‘OMGAMAZIN’ face. The catwalk seems to be made of water. Anita interviews that it was a ‘massive catwalk and it all had water inside’. Lisa does a bit better by saying that she was amazed and ending it at that. James and Annabel are back and they’re joined by Terry Hart who is a fashion show producer. Terry hopes that by now they are aware that they’re going to be walking on water.  I’m sure it’s not actually walking on water but everyone is pretending that it is. Terry also reminds them that they’ll be working with professional models and they might know some of them. I wonder which member of Top Model Alumni they’ll be bringing back for this? Further to the impossible feats of physics and the familiar face, there’s going to be 250 members of the press and industry insiders there to watch them fall down, so they’re going to have to be confident, sexy and in control.

In an arse about face move, the girls will be getting their hair and makeup done, then they’ll be rehearsing. Terry reminds them to have fun. I’m sure they won’t.  James welcomes them backstage and tells them to get a feel of what backstage at a catwalk show is like. I’m too busy looking around the room for a familiar face. There she is! It’s TUFFUNUH! Tell us how much you LUFF CHUPS TUFF!  She’s not permitted to speak. James tells the girls to find a space and leave the rest to the grownups.  Hair and makeup montage!  Risikat interviews that it’s 100 times better backstage than she thought it would be. Jennifer interviews that she’s doing what real models do but starts to get the fear because she’s seeing what goes into the show and if she messes up the client has spent thousands so she better not mess up. I’m sure you won’t.  Lisa hopes her nerves won’t get the better of her and lies that she’s feeling confident. Roxanne is worried because her walk is crap. Anita interviews that she felt manic backstage because the show is bigger than anything they’ve ever done before. I throw stuff at the telly because that isn’t what manic means. Anita thought it was a fun insight to what modelling life could be like.

Lisa then interviews that they were all dragged out of hair and makeup individually for a rehearsal because none of them had a clue what they were doing. *SNORK*, you got that right. The rehearsal is with Terry who I’m starting to like immensely, mainly because he seems a bit hostile.  Letitia interviews that Terry was ‘amazing’ and that he explained that he did shout sometimes but Letitia didn’t mind because he ‘literally’ told them what to do. I can’t even... Lisa fails in the first five seconds by looking down. She’s send back to do it again properly.  Terry reminds her that she’s in a show and she’s got to be really elegant. Terry has a microphone for this even though he’s in the same room. I love it. He tells Lisa to take control while she does her best Bambi face and nods. She interviews that she had to go slowly and steady.

Terry wants Jennifer to be more graceful because she looks like she’s walking through a puddle. [But she IS walking through a puddle. You can say "walking on water" as much as you like, it's not going to alter the basic physics of the fact that they are WALKING THROUGH A LARGE PUDDLE. - Steve] She nearly falls over on the way back. Risikat interviews that she doesn’t think that you can walk too fast through the water. ORLY? Anita walks through the water like she’s in slow motion. She dumbterviews that the first time she did it she was petrified because she put all her energy into not falling. Terry wants Anita to be a bit more effeminate. AHAHAHAHA! Letitia next. She interviews that it’s hard to be elegant and walk through water. Terry gets as annoyed with Letitia and Anita as I am and pulls them aside for a stripping down for being useless. Those aren’t his words but that’s the general gist. What he does say is that there’s nothing coming through them.  Yup.

Madeleine aces it and interviews that she knows modelling is what she’s supposed to do. Emma and Roxanne also do really well. Risikat interviews that she’s won catwalk challenges before. I sense some foreshadowing here, as nobody has fallen over yet and we all know someone does.  Risikat interviews that she’s always told how good her walk is. She falls over after about 20 seconds. Terry reminds her that this is the hazard of water. He asks if she’s ok. He still hasn’t put down his microphone. Risikat does her best to laugh it off whilst Terry makes a crack about her being wet. The girls ALL cackle backstage.  Madeleine said that she was comfortable laughing with Risikat because she was laughing, but she would have laughed if it was the other girls even if they were crying. Risikat is more worried about her weave. Terry would like her to recover because she would have to in the show. She interviews that she was feeling pretty great about herself until she fell over and did the splits and the water went all the way up... to her face.  Terry is concerned because if he was a designer he’d not have them in his clothes after the rehearsal. Hee!

Adverts! Emma Stone, David Beckham in his pants, babies and Thrush cream. Damn, Sky Living knows its audience.

Aaaand we’re back.  Emma tells us all that Risikat fell over again. Lisa hopes she doesn’t fall over like Risikat.  HAHAHA! Risikat dun fall over! Let’s laugh about it for ten minutes!  Anita asks if she’s recovered. She just replies that she’s still wet.  Risikat then interviews that she still did brilliantly despite the falling over.  Anita just says to make sure that she doesn’t fall over in the real thing.

If things weren’t bad enough, Julien and Whitney arrive. Risikat lies and says that she hoped that some of the judges would be there. I don’t think she meant those two. It would be a shame if they missed their first big show. Whitney says that they’re only there to watch and that the judging will be saved for elimination. Julien then tries to psyche them out about the size of the audience because he is a terrible human being.  Whitney wishes them luck. Julien doesn’t.

Madeleine interviews that she has to be good and she can’t slip up.  Risikat knows that everyone will be staring at her. Lisa had to tell herself to give it her all. Letitia had nerves and Risikat has a little pray before it begins. Anita is nervous too and Terry wants her to look at the back of the room. Stooshe are there though! I like them. Terry announces the start of the show and tells them to have fun.

Lisa tells us again that she was nervous and scared of falling. She does ok and Julien claps like a seal. Jennifer nearly falls over, Madeleine interviews that the public loved her and she does really well and perhaps they mistook her for Naomi. Look lady, I’m perhaps your most vocal and enthusiastic supporter in the country and that shit isn’t even going to fly with me.  Letitia looks half asleep but seems very pleased with herself. Emma G is average and interviews that she hopes every day could be like today for her. Roxanne seems very stilted but everyone loves her. Anita interviews that she did her best and manages to splash Julien in the face. She gains ten like points for that one but she’s nowhere near in my good books.  Finally, Risikat’s turn. She interviews that she now knows that it’s possible to slip and she had a couple of stumbles but still had a good time.

TUFFUNUH then walks down the catwalk. This is not mentioned or referred to in any way. What’s going on? Is this some kind of contractual thing? Won’t she talk? Has she had an attack of crippling self awareness? Have Bintmodel? I need to know!

Lisa interviews that she’s delighted to have a chance to walk in a catwalk show and can’t believe that it’s only a challenge. Yup, she’s delighted that she’s been used for free labour. There’s another shot of TUFFUNUH that nobody mentions. This is just bizarre.

Backstage, the girls assemble to be greeted by Whitney and Julien again.  Julien wants to know what Annabel from Tresemme thinks of his fabulous girls. Annabel thinks they were amazing and did a fantastic job. Just as well. They ‘literally’ went out there and owned the catwalk, it was amazing and they ‘really stood up’. APART FROM RISIKAT OH GOD I MAKE MYSELF LAUGH SOMETIMES. Thingy Galvin thinks they owned it.  They go round the catwalk again and this edit doesn’t make sense. Madeleine thinks the whole thing was magnificent.  Terry admits that walking upstairs in the dark and walking through a tub of water whilst still looking sexy actually is quite a difficult and unusual thing but the girls have done themselves justice. They high five each other for not falling over.

The girls meet with Annabel and James Galvin again.  James tells them that they’ve done well and they all look different from when they’re on stage. Apparently, they’re picking a favourite and after a lot of deliberation they’ve gone for Lisa.  Madeleine is not happy at this. Her face of rage is WONDERFUL. She claims that it should have been her because she OWNED the catwalk. There is video footage to back this up. Everyone loved her and cheered for her and she was the star. DAMN STRAIGHT. It doesn’t matter anyway, Madeleine. Lisa’s prize is a year’s worth of haircuts from the Galvin brother that nobody cares about and some shit shampoo in giant bottles, so I wouldn’t be too sad.  Lisa interviews that she was amazed to win the challenge and thanks James and Annabel.

Back at the house, Anita tells us that there’s an Elle mail waiting and that they’re way complicated and riddly. No, they’re just insane. This one reads “Hi girls, Tomorrow things are going to get steamy, I hope you can bare it.  Be ready to go for a spin at 9.30am. Love Elle xx”. There’s no puzzle there.  It’s clearly about cooking vegetables with a stuffed animal at an exercise class, no? Risikat interviews that it’s probably a nude shoot. HOW COULD I HAVE GOTTEN IT SO WRONG? Letitia is in two minds because she’s not happy about being nude but nude shoots are nearly always beautiful and stuff. Emma thinks that nude shoots are really natural because it’s just you and your naturalness.  Who says telly is dumbing down? Jennifer thinks it’s going to be interesting because everyone else has a better body than her and she’s dreading the thought of getting everything out in front of the nation.

The girls arrive at a launderette and suddenly the steamy thing makes sense to them all. OH RIGHT, THAT KIND OF STEAM.  They spot Paul Sculfor who is totally famous for being a model and not famous for putting his winkie in singleton poster girl Jennifer Aniston. Uh huh.  It’s apparently amazing and there’s screaming. Paul Sculfor introduces himself as someone who works for Armani and Ralph Lauren. Top fact everyone, I can’t say Ralph Lauren. Just can’t do it. I’ve tried. If you ever meet me, ask and I’ll show you.

He’s here today because he’s currently the face of Aramis and he turns to Gemma McHenry who is the head of Garment Care at Phillips. They’re here today because they’re doing a shoot for irons. Gemma’s got a feeling things are going to get steamy. Paul tells us that this is because it’s going to be a nude shoot, but it’s not them, its boys that are going to be nekkid. Anita actually screams at them, you know, because she’s a maneater and desperate not to be left on the shelf at age 20. Try it on Paul Sculfor, Anita. He clearly likes desperation.  I’m a bit cheesed off that these girls don’t have to do any nudity. I remember in cycle 6 the girls were naked every five minutes. We haven’t even had an underwear shoot this time around. Have we decided that it’s time to treat them ethically now? Cos if they have, that’s RUBBASH.

Gemma tells them that the main part of the challenge today will be to show how confident they are in the competition because they’re all going to be wearing the same dress. Paul Sculfor sends them all for the hair and makeup montage. Anita immediately homes in on the male models and apologises for screaming in their faces. She’s rightly embarrassed. Risikat is excited by the shoot. Lisa is going to give it her best shot. Anita tells a bemused Madeleine that the male models shouldn’t be allowed because they’re too good looking.  Emma’s not going to let them bother her.

Risikat was up first and was pleased to be the first one to see the beautiful dress. Alex James the FitPhotographer this week. Risikat then goes off to meet the boys. Paul is interested as to whether she can relax, but she seems to be dealing with the naked men by ignoring them. Paul points this out and Risikat asks if she can touch them.  This is encouraged and the shoot improves.  Risikat found it hard to concentrate when she felt the model’s ‘nose’ on her ‘neck’ but gets a shot in the end. Risikat is pleased and thinks that she got a good shot.

Letitia is feeling confident because she’s got good make up and good styling. It’s hardly styling when you’re all in the same dress, but hey. She feels like a goddess.  She tells Paul this and he tells her she’s looking good. STOP ENCOURAGING HER, SCULFOR.  He thinks she needs to straighten her body and helpfully tells her that she looks nervous and should be careful not to fall over the dress.  Letitia responds to this frankly baffling advice by doing exactly the same thing.  Paul tells her that she looks like she put too much pressure on herself once she climbs off the wall. She uses her child’s voice and says that she doesn’t know what’s happening. Paul replies that things aren’t easy in that dress in a tone that implies that his next line will be “so let me take it off for you, because modelling is a lot like making love to a beautiful woman”. Ugh. POOR JENAN. He basically tells her to man up and she goes backstage to cry and THE WHOLE WORLD interviews that she may have overreacted a little. Roxanne thinks that her overreaction was mainly down to the fact that she’s not used to being criticised and has always been told how great she is by everyone so this is a shock for her.  I would guess that was about the size of it.

Lisa next. She’s told to get friendly with the models. She does. She interviews that one of the male models was nuzzling her neck and she pulls a face like she had a gigantic slug monster sucking on it. The FOOL. Paul tells her to use the guys more.  FitPhotographer says that the boys are coming across more brother than lover and Lisa giggles at this. He’s just told you you’re not doing your job properly love. Act like it. One of the models says that he didn’t think she wanted him to touch her so he was caressing the arm of another model. *fans self*. Paul thinks she looks in control.

Princess Madeleine’s turn. She wasn’t even looking at the boys and only got one bum cheek. Madeleine has been given the worst angle ever. She’s putting stuff into the machine while the naked men sit behind her. There’s no way this is going to turn out to be good.  Watch out for the bus, Madeleine! It’s coming right for you!  Paul tells her that this shot is going to be all about the look in her eye. He likes it when she laughs because it’s a fun shot. When it’s over, Madeleine interviews that she thinks she’s showed them she deserves a place in the competition.

After the break... Everyone else! Going out with the models! Judging!  Adverts! Are we still doing Meerkats? My, Zac Efron is still hot.

We’re back for Roxanne’s shoot.  She didn’t know who Paul was.  She begins her shoot and Paul’s unhelpful advice is even though she’s touching the guys, he doesn’t think that she knows they’re there in her eyes. WHAT?! She interviews that she wasn’t nervous around the male models but she felt a bit weird. She was just concentrating on getting a good shot. Paul tells her that it’s good when she takes a breath because it’s true. I don’t even know what I’m watching any more.  She thinks she’s got the shot.

The male models look a bit frightened of Anita. They’re all going to be covered in bubbles. She looks dog rough in her interview where she says that she just decided to go for it. Paul likes it when she looks in the male model’s eyes.  Anita doesn’t want to sound up herself [AYE RIGHT – The Nation] but she thinks it went well and that the boys were really nice. Paul, Alex and the Phillips lady have a bit of a discussion about how hard the shoot was that seems to be a bit made up.

Jennifer’s turn! She’s happy not to be nekkid because she’s self conscious of her body.  The first thing she does on set is to step on a male model’s foot which I can sympathise with. They don’t like her standing up so they make her lie across the male models on their collective lap. She interviews that it was hard not to laugh and get a good pose. Paul is not making impressed faces and thinks she could have enjoyed it more.

Emma is as bland as always. She makes porn faces whilst Paul tells her what to do with her hips. She says that the last time she was confident she ended up in the bottom two so she’s saying nothing. She was quite happy. The photographer thinks she’ll do well and Paul thinks she has amazing lips. Emma interviews that it wasn’t as hard as she hoped.

The girls are doing a reality TV sit round and wait for something to happen in the makeup caravan and Paul Sculfor comes in and tells them that two of them stuck out more than the others and those two are Anita and Emma. Apparently they had a good connection with the guys on the shoot so they’re going out tonight and they can take one person between them. But that’s not all; they’re going out with the male models. They’re choosing Lisa. Jennifer thought that one of them would be her.

They’re going on a night out to hipster magnet Bunga Bunga. Seriously, I’ve driven past it a couple of times and it seems to call people with directional hair and deck shoes home like a Siren.  Madeleine interviews that she was quite envious of the girls that went out because it would be nice to blow off steam and forget about the competition.  Risikat and Letitia stick their bottom lips out at their Ryvitas.  Back with the girl’s night out, Anita leers, yes, leers at the boys and asks them how they think the day went.  It’s worth pointing out that Lisa couldn’t look less comfortable. What’s the problem, Lisa? One of the guys said that he was tired out, and another said that he wanted to kiss Anita but there was too many people watching. Bless. Emma interviews that Anita went to the loo and the model that wanted to kiss her followed her out.  Oh yeah? Swit swoo. Next thing we see is Lisa outside the club talking to the camera about how they’re going to have a hard job getting Anita out of there.  Anita then drunkterviews that she’s not got anyone’s number. Shots of hilarity involving sparklers are interspersed with scenes of washing up at model mansions. Anita claims that it doesn’t make any difference that there are hot men there, because she’d enjoy herself regardless. Hmmm. She then says that she and Mark, the one that wanted to kiss her, got on very well. She then giggles and apologises. Oh yeah?  Emma says that they exchanged numbers. It’s hinted that they went home together but I very much doubt it.

AGAIN, there is no Elle Mail to announce elimination, only FEARNE FUCKING COTTON. In the Confessional room, Jennifer and Letitia pretend to be surprised that they’re still there and say that they’re running out of elimination outfits.  Madeleine, Risikat and Roxanne sit together in the confessional whilst wondering aloud if Anita and Emma’s winning the photshoot makes them exempt from elimination. This is met with a curt “no”. [Although it does leave the odds of survival in their favour, sort of like The Hunger Games on opposite day. - Steve] The twins, Emma and Letitia think it’s strange that elimination has come round so quickly. Madeleine says that there’s nothing left for her to do. Jennifer jumps on her for being pessimistic. Madeleine points out that she’s not being pessimistic and that its fact that there is no more that she can do this week to impress the judges. She then pops a mint in her mouth because that’s what you do when you own someone.

The judges arrive at elimination. This week’s guest judge is Sculfor. Whitney introduces herself and seems impressed. Elle gets a big hug.  Elle welcomes all the girls to the elimination room and announces the judges. Prizes!

Elle tells them all that they’ve had an interesting week, what with the catwalk and the walking on the water and the photoshoot with the naked models. Elle can’t wait to see how that went.

Lisa is first. Elle says, with significant disbelief, that Lisa did really well on the catwalk. Lisa agrees. Elle thinks it was elegant and together. Whitney was impressed with her walk and how she showed off the dress.  Time for her shot. Paul tells her that she shone through her eyes and that showed in the picture. It doesn’t. I think that she looks like a statue. Julien thinks that she looks like a gorgeous, mature statue like it’s a good thing. Elle wishes she could see more sophistication from Lisa in the judging room because she seems a bit dressed down. She’d like her to be more the girl in the photo. So Lisa, chuck out all your clothes and buy yourself some ballgowns, k?

Next up, is Letitia.  Her shot is dull and she looks all hamster cheeked. Paul says that during the shoot she went into self conscious mode and started second guessing everything. Letitia is sticking with the “I don’t know what happened” story. I’ll tell you love, you were shit and you can’t handle it. Paul tells her that she’s stunning and thinks that she knows this “on a level”.  Yep, every single level.  She apparently needs to accept her stunningness. Nah.

Elle tells Madeleine that she loved being in the runway show and that everyone was cheering for her. Madeleine trots out her Naomi line but without the confidence she had in it earlier. Everyone bursts out laughing and Whitney thinks she’s giving herself a lot of credit.  She manages to save it by saying that she can’t think of another reason why everyone would cheer so much.  Tyson loved her flow and her energy on the catwalk but worries about her head wobble. Tyson is rocking geek chic today and I very approve. Elle would like to see her photo.  She’s been bussed. It’s awful and there’s no way that’s the best one.  Whitney thinks it falls flat and the smile is cheesy. She’s not feeling the vibe. It’s not Elle’s favourite and it looks posed and fake. The runway may have been a hit, but the photo is a miss.

Ridiculous mid judging ad break.  Georgia Jagger is really getting as annoying and as ubiquitous as Kate Moss. Thanks Revlon!
We’re back for Jennifer.  Her runway is a bit zombie and Julien, in a rare moment of lucidity, tells her that she was supposed to work it and it’s her job to bring this stuff to life and she didn’t. She looked bored. Elle hopes she brings more to her photo. She didn’t. Whitney says “Usually a profile shot can be interesting” which is the first thing she’s said that’s made me like her this entire series.  She says there’s no interest in this picture. Elle thinks she would have looked better on her side and she’s sure she tried that at one point. Jennifer isn’t so sure.

Emma’s photo is stunning. Paul can only see her face in it. Elle says that whatever she was thinking, she can connect with it.  We don’t see her runway.

Roxanne is at a really weird angle in her shot. She looks like a mannequin. Whitney likes her figure in it but she looks strained. Tyson thinks it’s clear that she’s worrying about a boyfriend at home and she needs to get that out of her head and she needs to own the shoot. We don’t get to see her walk either.

Anita next. She’s on the verge of getting a swear word attached to her name like Series 5’s Fuckingsophie. Any suggestions?  I’m liking BloodyAnita so far. [I approve. Consider it officially adopted. - Steve] Elle reminds her that she’s not the most confident walker in the group.  Her walk is actually ok, but it’s to the detriment of her face which seems to be in full snarl mode.  Elle points this out too. They all rib her for being a slut again though and point out that her photo shows she didn’t have any trouble shooting with the boys. She says that she was feeling confident and did her thing. She’s not pleased with her mouth but it’s ok. Elle likes it, Whitney thinks that she continues to improve and she’s impressed.  Paul thinks she’s got a strong look and she looks like she knows what she’s doing.

Finally, Risikat.  Whitney thinks she pulled her walk off despite the fact that she fell over.  I just can’t believe they gave her that hair.  Her shot is good though. Julien points out how hard it is to make a ballgown look modern and contemporary but she made it look great and the picture is fun and sexy and he really likes it. Elle disagrees and apologises to Julien.

Elle then declares their feedback interesting and tells them they’re off to deliberate and send someone home. Backstage, Roxanne points out that they don’t know what the judges are thinking. Anita doesn’t think anyone looked ugly in their pictures and Jennifer doesn’t know who did worse than her at catwalk.

Meanwhile, Elle tells the other judges that the deliberation over the photographs may the best part of their week. They start with Lisa.  They all love it, apart from Paul who thinks she could have used her body more. Elle likes the simplicity. Julien thinks that Jennifer could have enjoyed herself more. Elle thinks she could have turned over. Madeleine’s picture doesn’t do it for Whitney and she’s never been impressed with her. Tyson thinks it isn’t bad enough to send her home. Elle thinks she has something but wonders if it’s enough.  Julien goes on some rant about eighteen year old girls and their emotions which I suppose makes sense to him.  Elle picks out one word and makes sense of it. Paul wouldn’t have noticed Emma in a crowd but she took a good photo. Julien agrees and calls her a Plain Jane in person but becomes a superstar with makeup. Roxanne’s picture works for Paul. Julien thinks she brings a challenge to the judges every week, which I’m not sure is a compliment.  Julien calls Anita’s picture “wet, sexy and expensive” which sounds like something you’d read on a card in a Soho telephone box.  Whitney thinks Risikat’s photo is average. Elle thinks it’s fake and she’s lost in it. Tyson isn’t sure how much longer she’ll last.

Back in the elimination room, Elle has eight beautiful girls in front of her, but seven photos in her hand.  Picture of the week goes to Emma, who is as stunned as everyone else. Anita is next followed by Lisa, Roxanne, Letitia who needs more balance apparently and finally Risikat. This leaves Madeleine and Jennifer. I’m not happy with this. I can feel my hackles rise.

They step forward. Elle says they’re both strong with strong looks but they’re not the strongest in the shoots. In the catwalk, Jennifer is under confident and Madeleine is over confident.  I don’t think Madeleine was cheering for herself, Elle. The name of the girl whose photo is in Elle’s hand is... MADELEINE! Hurrah!  Elle hopes Jennifer has had fun. Madeleine pretends to cry to the others backstage whilst Jennifer actually cries over her photo montage.  She’s sad because she’ll miss everyone. She’s happy to have made the top eight. She fades out the picture.

Next week it’s only NICKY FLIPPING JOHNSTONE! I love him.  Plus catfights! Join Steve for that next week. 

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